Disaster!

well that was my birthday... totally 100% disaster!!!! anyways, it's ended with an almost divorce and now counseling oh and to top it off a Dr visit with depression - but because I'm not suicidal I can go back this week sometime to determine if I need help (got to love the bedside manner there grrr)

Anyhoos - this is probably a jumbled mess so just going to leave it here... I wanted to simply note that my birthday was a disaster so in years I can look back and roll my eyes and nod my head and simply agree - not one to look back on fondly.....

This time of Year...

I know it's the run up to Christmas, but just right now it's the last thing on my mind... Tomorrow is my birthday and as per usual the "big low" has started...

Not sure why but my birthday is always a let down - I've felt like this for years and years... I think it's because it's at this time of year that it's often overlooked and missed - or that special thing I've yearned for has not been forthcoming (usually forgotten or left for Christmas etc etc...) I've become accustomed to it but none the less it still hurts and I have a long learned pattern of not expecting much and to protect myself with a blanket of miserable...

So forgive me for feeling low.. but it's just this time of year.....

wow!!!

Life sure is a roller coaster...

My daughter went missing on Wednesday. She was meant to be in after school care immediately school was out, but she didn't get there. I was of the understanding children were picked up from their class to go to the after school area, but apparently they're not. Somehow she got confused and didn't turn up at the facility...

It was 1.5 hours from the end of school to her being found - I was beside myself as I was an hour away and her father was stuck at work - never mind the fact it was 25 mins after she was let ouf of school that we received the first call saying she was missing....

I can't say too much here because I put a very inoccuous comment on facebook just asking a question how this can happen and yet no one take responsibility for her going missing and now the child care facility is threatening to sue me for defamation!!! I can't believe that my child goes missing, the school say the facility is responsible for her, the facility state is the the school that is responsible for her - no one is apparently responsible or accepting responsibility for a 10 year old girl missing on the streets for 1.5 hours when I'm paying for her to be in an adults care!!! Yet here I am being the open threatened with being sued for asking a question - no names etc mentioned.. nothing - in fact some people have been trying to guess what institution it is and got it totally wrong - I don't advertise what school or facilities my children attend for safety's sake.. and yet apparently I'm the one in the wrong!!!

Sorry if this is so dis-jointed - I need to get it out but don't want my words to be twisted again **sigh**

I'm awaiting a call from two local solicitors who are willing to take my case on as I am not retracting my question or saying that I was wrong - let alone putting up the public apology the facility is demanding - My gosh someone should be apologising to me and my daughter!!!

So much has happened, but I'm toos cared to even tell anyone the truth until I've spoken to a solicitor - how can the world be so screwed up that someone can be sued for simply stating the truth and especially over something as severe as their daughter going missing!!!!

frustrated - yes

Angry - yes

Scared - yes

Exhausted - totally

Day of New Starts :)

Yeppers - it's Monday, new week and **sigh** time to become accountable again...

Today is my first day on the "infamous" Flylady LOL Infamous because apparently it's going to make me *gasp* organised and clean!!! Augh - do I really want to become organised and clean?!?! Deep down I do really, but oh my reputation of being a happy go lucky slob may just take a flogging hahaha

I'm a weird beast, I don't like making changes like this but know it has to be done - total contradiction I am LOL

The other new start is back onto bodytrim - get some more kilo's off before summer really hits... So today is day 1 out of 3 days on pure protein.. Lots of BBQ chooken and eggs and meats and BBQ'sd and sooo looking forward to hitting veggies and salads on Wednesday hahahaha

Okies, flylady report - day 1 of beginner baby steps... What I need to do is clean and polish my sink so much that I can see my reflection... Hmmm Okies, sounds easy enough ;) And I'll upload piccies to keep myself accountable LOL

I do have to say that I suffer BIG TIME from CHAOS - Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome LOL I totally admit to that and want it rectified so will keep at it and see how I go. I have been experiencing the email routine for the last week so kinda have a feel for what is coming, but have to start with the baby step routine to ensure that I don't overwhelm myself too much to start with (something I'm pretty prone to doing - boots and all syndrome that one LOL)

So for today, off to clean and polish the sink and will upload piccies to prove that I have done it ;) one baby step out of the way ;)

Christmas Carol for 2009

I just found my new favourite Christmas carol ~ My 2009 Christmas Carol ~ (no idea how to put youtube clips in here properly so the link will have to do) Ahhh LOVE it hehehehe

Visitors from Victoria :)

Steve and Sheens came over this week for a much awaited holiday and we caught up :) It's the first time our kids have met and to say they got on like a house on fire is an understatement!!!

~ The Bricknell and Dalton kids ~

They were meant to have been here in October for their daughter, Jessica's birthday but Steve broke his foot (duh) and considering it was a driving holiday they kinda had to wait until it healed a bit ;) So Tuesday (just gone) evening they arrived and I had a birthday cake waiting for Jess :) She loves cats so I did a yummy scrummy mud cake shaped as a ginger tabby...

~ The Cake ~

I didn't realise until after I took piccies of it how it kind of looks like it's sticking it's thumbs in it's ears and sticking it's tongue out hahaha - cheeky puddy tat hahaha

~ 15 Candles to Blow Out ~

~ Cutting the Cake ~

Anyhoos, they travelled around the state in a camper van for the week - and I think got a BIG suprise about how long it took to travel and how little time a week was to tour Tassie LOL So many mainlanders do that, I love my state and would give anything just to have a month off- paid of course to take off and tour around... I'm contemplating hiring a camper like they had and jsut going that - maybe a week at a time.. do a week on the East coast and Hobart, another week down the West and far north west and then another week for the north, and then another week in the midlands and highlands... Sounds like a great plan for a holiday - I wonder if I could pull it off - hmm **ponders** ;)

Tonight they came and said goodbye before heading back to Victoria tomorrow... It was good to catch up - would be nice to have more time - actually they're talking about coming down next year and camping in the Cradle mountain area so maybe we can get something organised then ;)

Aurgh!!!

What a day - ending with a thumping headache.. to be honest a day I'd rather forget but I shall overcome ;) Anyways, things can and will get better... just need to sleep the jackhammers out of my cranium....

Walk a Little Slower.....

Photographed and compiled by me, 31 Jan 2009

~

Getting Orgamanised.....

Orgamanised is one thing I'm not (yes it's another word I've made up LOL) I've joined flylady and am getting the emails - I've told myself that I'm receiving emails to get the routine and will start it next week :P Ahhh pathetic hey ROFL basically it seems to revolve around polishing your kitchen sink - I think I can manage that - once it's emptied hahaha

But the big orgamanising today is this laptop - All my things from my other computer have been "sucked" over and now I have to sort, trash and re-position everything... going to be a looong day going through thousands of photo's in particular LOL It seems every program I go into for my piccies saves the om,ages so I've about 4-5 copies of each image hahaha.. ahhhh lots of trash at the end of the day being deleted ;) i can also re-add my downloaded presets back to lightroom, which means I can get the piccies I've taken the last few days processed ;)

Oooh another thing I want to get done today if time will allow is to blog about Dom and Kahli's birthdays - I was really slack in October and missed them being blogged - especially Dommy's first birthday <3 it's a must do ;)

Just have to say, I currently have Kerrianne on the box waiting for Lee Kernaghan to come on and I think the quality of their infomercials have got worse - OMG sooo pathetic and obviously read Hahahaha like I would believe some of the stuff they're trying to offload - must be hard times for them to get decent product advertisements LOL

Rememberence Day....

They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old; Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn. At the going down of the sun and in the morning. We will remember them.

In dedication to my great grandfather who fought in the first world war, my grandfather who fought in the second world war, my uncle who fought in the Vietnam war, my cousin who is currently serving for the Australian Airforce and all men and women who have served and who are serving in the armed services..... Thank you for everything you have sacrificed and believe in - to you all we owe our lives, our lifestyle and our future xxxx

Lest We Forget

~

Compulsary Hero - 1927

~

The Real meaning of Christmas

the BlogThis challenge this week is to discuss what Christmas means to ourselves and our families....

I adore Christmas, I get tingles of anticipation from the roots of my hair to the tip of my toes planning and looking forward to this special holiday. I love everything about it from the way the earth smells in the run up to Christmas (the heat on the Australian soil and the dry clean smell of eucalyptus in the air) the squeals of delight as kids run around their homes knowing that school is out and 6 weeks of holiday is ahead of them - I just adore this time of year, the joy, the atmosphere - even down to the last minute rush at the shops and jostling to get to a checkout - all the time smiling because deep down I know how lucky we are to be living in Australia and have the freedom to celebrate this season as well as being blessed enough to have finances to allow us to celebrate in our own style...




What does Xmas mean to you and your family? Christmas to us means spending time with family, lots of food and spoiling the little ones in our lives. It's about giving of gifts, showing love and simply being in each others company :)

Have you got some traditions?? We have lots LOL - you ready????
~Christmas Run-Up~
*Our Christmas tree used to go up Dec 9th on my birthday - but I usually get impatient and want it up on Dec 1st LOL
*We will attend Carols by Candlelight at the Burnie Soundshell, it usually means parking blocks away and walking together down crowded streets with heaps of excited children running around in the cool Tasmanian summer evening - such a special time....
*We also go Christmas Light spotting (although there aren't that many around now - too many vandalism's)
*My best friend and my families will come together to spend several days making Christmas decorations and food - lots of cooking :) We will have lots of laughs, food and fun - oh and mess to boot ;)
~Christmas Eve~
*My children do their own gift swaps - kinda lets them have a day with something new before Santa spoils them LOL
*Then in the evening we attend the Wynyard Christmas pageant and
*come home to the kids getting some new pyjama's from mummy and daddy (that way I know they are decently dressed for Chrissy morning piccies haha)
~Christmas Day~
Santa has come with the goodies, they brats are usually up around 3-4am **yawn**
*Lunch and dinner with alternating parents and in-laws.. this year it is dinner with the in-laws and dinner with my parents (always a BBQ)
*Early night - yes I'm hallucinating, but we always say we're going to get one hahaha

What will you cook?! Me - nothing hahaha the in-laws and parents do it all. We do take a salad and desert to mums for the BBQ table... I've not even planned it this year - very slack!!! I'll possibly make my layered Mexican dip and take a rice salad and pavlova overloaded with cream and juicy ripe straberries and raspberries fresh from the local berry fields **drool**

Who will you spend it with? FAMILY and FRIENDS!!!!

Got a favourite Christmas memory? Traveling up to Campbelltown (Tasmania - inland from Launceston - Midlands region) to my paternal grandparents - It's not so much a Christmas memory as such but the whole time we spent with family that we didn't see much at all... . I loved that they lived on a property in an old rambling farmhouse. My pop would move the sheep from paddock to paddock during our time there and I would watch and smell - I can still smell it today, the heat of the animals, lanolin on the wont, drying grass in the background... It's one of the last times I saw my grandfather healthy - he passed away from cancer not long after this memory and time we spent with him after this holiday was minimal so it's a very precious memory for me... I also remembering being given crayons that Christmas and instead of drawing with them I watched them melt in the sub - it fascinated me watching them go from a solid drawing implement to little piles of molten wax LOL



How are you decorating?? Our tree will be adorned with decorations I've collected over the years and with little trinkets my children have made and collected for the tree :) and topped with a star of David so we can honour the true meaning of Christmas... As for lights, I did deck our house with lights one year but it's such a HUGE job that I think I'll skip it this year - unless I get a huge burst of energy somewhere to actually sort the tangle that is our outdoor lights out ROFL But mostly the house will have the tree, we will have carols playing all day every day (jsut because I LOVE them!!) and we will ahve our indoor statues and childrens drawings hanging everywhere :) Lots of home made love <3

Lobster....

That's me at the moment! Yesterday we had a birthday party for Little Jackson to attend in Ulverstone and as our car is still "in hospital" we had to walk down the big hill and catch the bus to Ulverstone. It was a 35 min walk to get downtown - and an hour bus ride...

I slipped and slopped but forgot a hat so the slapping didn't occur - but still within 10 minutes of being out in the sun I was turning red... After a long walk downtown and then the afternoon in the sun (I will never understand the movement that removes the shady trees from parks - there was none in sight for us to shelter under!!!) I am now a lobster - actually probably more like a beetroot to be more precise, my left shoulder is purple hahaha - sorry, not funny really, very very sore :( I kept applying sunscreen too, so I'm a little perplexed why I got so burnt...

Anyhoos - great day with friends was had - we almost didn't make it though... We got to Target (at the bottom of the hill) and I went in to purchase a birthday card for Jackson (who incidentally was turning 4) I got to the checkout (with some chocolates as a treat for us to munch on the bus) and remembered Nathan used my bankcard the previous day - I sent Aleks out to ask for my card and Nathan tells me he left his wallet at home!!! Talk about palpitations!!! I was panicing as I usually don't carry cash with me and we kinda needed cash to purchase the bus tickets to get to Ulvie and then home!!! Luckily my sister came to the rescue who lives in Ulverstone and had some cash she could loan us once we got there to get home, but the tickets were still a worry... Until the bus arrived and we had the most lovely bus driver :) I had just enough to make it to Ulverstone on concession tickets.. to the very cent!!! She let us all travel concession!!! She was really really good!!! So good she even made sure we caught the connector bus back up the hill to save us a huge walk home - And so good that I've submitted a compliment to the bus company for her - she really did save the entire day for us - Thumbs-up metro driver :)

Then to today again another walk was on the cards, we had to get some food into the house so the kids and I were all packed up for a walk to Woolies.. again in full sun (for some reason summer seems to have sprung early and we're not coping LOL) It took 40 mins this time to get there and a smidgen longer to get home again... My gosh but my muscles protested!!! So a not so relaxing weekend, but a lot of quality time with the kids and as a family :) made it all worth it and we're about ready to be tucked into bed :) Now I wonder though how many muscles will protest when it's time to get out of bed ROFL

PS: forgot to add I am now on my new laptop!!! I have all keys working yaaayyyyy!!!! I'm getting used to the smaller screen (gone from 15 down to 13 inch) but it's bigger internally and so much quicker - it does mean I will have to upload piccies from Jackson's party at a later date as not everything is set up here yet :) oh and did I say that it also has all it's keys :P

Blog This....

Oh dear - I'm so terrible with this already ROFL I was just searching around for inspiration for my dream home and I looked at the Blog This website and I'm too late!!! I really HAVE to get organised!!!

I'm off to fly lady now - I succumb.. I must get organised and back in control of this roller coaster!!!!

Best Made Plans and All....

Yeps - I've done it again, said I'd do something and not get to it **Sigh** no excuse or reason really either... well there probably is but I'm not going to hide behind it (at the moment LOL)

Actually it was two things - the fly lady one and a photo a day - although I can still take a photo... might get the camera out and see if I can get anything - no idea what... going to have to wrack this shriveled brain of mine (major headache and empty feeling at the moment) I was meant to be going to Lisa's to spend the night tonight but we decided to postpone until next week due to my befuddled brain **sigh**

Hmm what's happened today... Not much outside of housework to be honest. I made some cupcakes (or cuppicakes as Lisa's kids call them) which spilled over the side of their paper cups - lovely abstract art pieces they were LOL Still the kids demolished them ;) I do have to say how much I'm starting to love the weather - not for the going out and enjoying aspect but for the fact I can dry Domeniks nappies in one day **yay**!!! Sooo happy about that, getting a full day of sun oto them to destroy any nasties ;)

Oh and Dommy has FINALLY cut his eight tooth this morning, and with a poopy side effect but that's to be expected. I'm running around like a headless chook after him to make sure any soiled nappies are removed straight away to avoid any contact blisters or further ulcers that have plagued his butt since he started teething. William was the same (somethig to do with their gut and not absorbing/digesting food correctly) so I'm pretty used to it but our GP is panicked because he hasn't seen anything like this before so we're trying to clear everything and prove that we are not neglecting out little boy - it's a side effect of him having severe allergies and digestional issues - feel like screaming at times but hey - such is life :)

Oh my - headache is not letting up so going to have to sleep this one off methinks - will be back tomorrow to research fly lady a bit more and hopefully get some piccies - actually definitely pics tomorrow as we're expecting a new Genesa Forge bee embroidered nappy so will have to do a bit of a show of in front of the camera with the bib and hat/antennae set ;) I don't know many other people who buy clothes to suit a nappy or the same with shoes - LOL me does **blush** I'll be so sad the day Dommy toilet trains hahahaha

Today is....

Hump Day!!!!!! And we're still without a vehicle and could possibly be so until the middle of next week - but I'm trying to tell myself it will be doe by the weekend - positive thoughts right :P

I've been hitting the housework - it's be suffering with the hectic life I've had the last few months being out and about a lot, so a HUGE spring clean is in store... I'm actually starting to wonder if I should look at joining the Fly Lady craze again - I looked at it a few years ago and got inundated with confuzzling USA timestamped emails so quickly flicked it - apparently now you can time it for Aussie conditions - that's what I need ;)

Ooooh and more time with my camera too - I'm trying to stick with a photo a day again so I can get more experience under my belt - so far this month so good ;) I've got to upload them onto my photo challenge blog ;) I purchased a little cow suit and matching suhat from Noo Designs and had a 5 min photo session with Dommy last night and am really thrilled with two of the shots - me being a perfectionist can still see faults but oh so pleased with the first one :)

Dommy Moo Cow :)

He was having an anti-hat day so it came off pretty quick LOL He hated the hat for some reason, but at least he held back on a tantrum (of which he is becoming quite proficient) and just moseyed around in the long grass which is about to be mowed and the old autumn leaves that were still on the ground ;)

Dommy :)

Right now I feel quite stuffed, we walked (the kids biked) to the Shorewell shopping centre to get s few groceries from the IGA to see us through tomorrow - this no transport is a little harder here than our last house in the centre of town... It's close to a 2 km one way trip - one way beig uphill too **yeowch** my muscles are feeling it - especially as I was also pushing a 10kg pram with a 10kg bubba and bags ;) but we made it - we have bread and basics and hopefully I'll get the energy to either walk that little further to Wollies tomorrow or catch the bus downtown if I feel really adventurous hahaha

So with that I'm going to do a little research into the mysterious flylady and see what happens for us Aussies now-days :)

Not going to say it.....

....but it has been a while since I posted - I really have to get myself together!!!! Well it's probably going to happen this week as I'm housebound - no car... it kinda did a timing belt last night at the bottom of the mount street hill - at the lights - the busiest place in Burnie Augh!!! To top it off we were on our way to Yolanda (my niece) 13th birthday party and I had the older three kids in the back all dressed up in Halloween costumes...

Kahli the Witch

William the Grim Reaper

and

Aleks the Wizard

We were stuck there almost an hour before help in the form of my father and Andrew (my brother in law) arrived.... then 15 minutes later my best friend arrived with her big white shiny tarago to whisk myself and the kids to safety LOL Sooo a Timing belt is apparently what you need to start the car properly - when you turn the ignition it is what helps spark the car to life... We could turn her over but it just wouldn't "catch" soooo frustrating; fuel - check, battery power - check, oil - check, nice and cool - check; the damn thing just would not start - auuugggghhhhhh Anyhoos As tomorrow is a public holiday it will be at least Tuesday before we can get the car into a mechanic (if there is a spot!!) and then hopefully they have a belt there - if not we could be in for a wait to get the part **sigh**

So to sum it up - Happy 13th Yolanda :) Her birthday was actually back in September but saying it again to make sure she heard hahaha. Kids were happy and Dom was changed into his bee outfit (he won the romper - and a matching bib - from Noo Designs ) so we had 4 little kiddies all dressed up :)

Dommy the Bee

I got lots of photo's and there was lots of food. The kids played basket ball with Matt (my cousin) Mark (Nardia - my sister- husband) and Adam (my brother) and at one stage Nathan and Aleks played basket ball with Dommy - It was hard to tell if they were working on getting the ball through the hoop at times or Little Dom LOL So a good time was had by all - even though we were 1.5 hours late LOL And now it's a case of wait and see with the car... It had to be towed off the highway to home (thankyou mr RACT man :)) Guess now it'll be a chance to get some housework one with no "I'm not home" excuses **sigh** ahh the joy - NOT!!! LOL

Okies - PICCIES!!!!

Bee-ootiful :)

Bee Happy :)

Bee Gentle :)

My Dark and Mysterious Grim Reaper :)

My Auburn Haired Witchy Poo :)

My Studious and Clever Wizard :)

I am Thankful.....

~ I originally posted this in my facebook "notes" Sept 2nd 2009~



I'm thankful for feeling my babies burning skin - for it means I can feel and work out he's sick...

I'm thankful for Dom spitting panadol back out at me at 5am - for it means that we have access to medications...

I'm thankful for having a rental inspection tomorrow - for it means we have shelter from the cold...

I'm thankful for the carpet cleaner coming this morning - for it means that we have finances to pay him and keep someone locally employed...

I'm thankful for the car in for repairs at the mechanics this morning - for it means we have transport...

I'm thankful for squeezing in a doctors appointment - for it means we are in a country that has facilities prompt medical treatment

I'm thankful for going to Devonport this afternoon - for it means I have family and friends who want to see me

I'm thankful for everything happening at once - for it means the big guy upstairs must think I can handle it all.... I wish I had the same faith in myself!!!!

Aurgh!!!!!!

There Were Some Positives....

I just realised my update was all negative.. positives did happen ;) Umm can't rightly think right now due to over-tiredness and exhaustion but I know they are there!!!

I did take some decent pics of Lisa's two youngest :) I love the sunflare one of her daughter :) Here it is.. it's jsut so soft and dreamy....

Hump Day...

...is about to turn into grocery day... from next week on I will be using my Wednesday's as shopping and organising days... It helps that Nathan has the morning off and works "lates" It meas I will be meal planning weekly and working on grocery lists - most probably over the weekend when I have everyone home and can work out their tastes for the week ahead.... Well that's the plan LOL - things are likely to change hahaha

Enough of plans, a little update *sigh* I just want life to slow down from time to time.. Right now I feel everything is on "full steam ahead" but I wish it was one "go slow and enjoy" I try to take time to smell the roses but feel that I get pushed in the back to go by faster... Probably makes no sense but hey, I probably don't make sense most days LOL Today I spent the morning at my friend Jess's having coffee with her and Lisa... It was really nice to be out of the house for something other than to run around but it's kinda frustrating knowing that there's so much to do at home.... I really have to find the time and energy to get on top of it - and as silly as it sounds saying that at the moment knowing I'm not going to be home properly until Monday next week - augh!!! We have Kahli seeing a specialist appointment about her broken nose on Friday and the Matthew (Lisa's son's) party over the weekend (sleepover) sooooo trying not to make excuses but, well.. it feels like I am but hey I'm not - HONEST!!!

As for update... yesterday we had two negatives... firstly Dommy was sitting on the lounge besides me at Lisa's drinking from his sippy cup when somehow (I still can't work it out) he fell face first onto the hard floor on top of his sippy cup :( my poor little man has a black eye, bruise on his cheek and a egg on his forehead :( I feel so bad.... there was no way I could have prevented it, well yes it could have been if I was holding him down or sat him on the floor - I was reparing a napy for him to be changed into... but I have to wrack it up to experience... I hate it all the same knowing I was sittig right beside him and he still hurt himself!!! I've got piccies (how surprising - not LOL) but Nathan doesn't want me to put them up onlie in case some smart arse decides to call child welfare - guess it pays to be over careful now-days :(

Second negative was Kahli was caught stealing at KMart again - by me this time.. she was caught last week stuffing lollies into her pockets by a staff member... yesterday I did a pat down at the door before the kids all left and she had jewelry in her pocket!!!! I really am at my wits end with working out what to do.. she's lying her little head off and trying to live in her own reality world where she is all but a Cinderella character.. being abused by her mummy and daddy and mistreated by her brothers, starved and neglected and made work for everyone - far from the truth but I'm almost too scared to get professional help for her knowing she is going to lie her head off and possibly get us into strife... I just don't know what to so any more :( I feel really frustrated because she has it in her to be a great kid... I wish she could express herself in a more positive way.... Nathan actually packed her off to do a little visit at the police station yesterday purely out of desperation to try and offset this behaviour somehow, but all they did was like a personal tour like they do for school - I don't feel confident it will do anything so I am putting into action the next stage in keeping her out of trouble - it's purchasing one of the toddler handcuff/lead thingies so anytime she is in a store with us she is connected to either a pram, hand or trolly at all times - she wont be able to be out of sight or run off at all... Will be hard for her being an almost 10 year old ad treated like a baby, but I just don't know what else to do **sigh**

Anyhoos, Nathan has just got in from his nightshift.. time to make a coffee/hot chocolate and ready for bed for some well earned sleep...

My Guilty Pleasures....

This weeks challenge blog is about our guilty pleasures... I've been mulling this one over for the last few days since stumbling upon the blogging group and was honestly left scratching my head...

In the meantime I've been sitting back with a hazelnut nescafe coffee stick coffee drink thingy (hey I know what I mean LOL) reading and updating facebook, playing facebook games, searching out seeds for my proposed veggie garden on ebay and online shops, hyena-ing a gorgeous MCN set for my baby boy and re-connecting with my blog and searching out my favourite music on you tube... All the while processing photo's for friends and family in lightroom and playing with them in photoshop as well as in "my time" playing a bit of World of Warcraft and whooping some alliance backsides in Barthilas (for the horde!!) and then it hit me - My guilty pleasure is my computer!!!


Guilty as I know I spend waaaay too much time and money with it LOL But it is a necessity, a work horse and for me a pleasure!!

I usually sit in my chair in the corner with my feet elevated on the stool that is meant to be my laptop table and laptop on my lap whilst I type and click away with the TV on in front of me playing a music channel from Austar... My mouse is in my right hand when in use and I use my rather ample thigh as a mouse pad ;) The funny thing with this laptop is at the moment things seem to take twice as long as normal to do at the moment as my poor old MacBook Pro is so well loved she has worn out and lost several keys - I'm missing my "n", left shift, return and control keys - as well as that she is onto her third power-cord - for some reason they just give up the ghost on me - augh!!! But I love my computer - however am looking forward to receiving an upgrade for my birthday in a few weeks (the upgrade is being received in a few weeks - not my birthday LOL)

This lappy has sooo many good memories on it - so many photo's and friends are to be found - especially in facebook.. at the moment I'm addicted to the cafe world game (warning do not start playing!!!) I can usually find someone to chat to if I need an ear to vent to or some friendly advice, It's a great place to re-connect with friends and family who have moved away - making the world that little bit smaller and bringing it into my lounge room :) It's a place where I can search out information and support for the health issues myself and my family are being affected by of late - I can also be very practical and bank pay parking fines etc on my computer!!! There's a wealth of information and resources at ones finger tips with a computer hence mine being my guilty pleasure...

On my computer I can interact, socialise, drool, cry, vent, buy, relate, support, inform, educate and most of all share my life and experieces with a wider world and hopefully find some new friends along the way....

I summary, my guilty pleasure is my computer.. be it online or off.... It's my portal to the world :)

Last Weeks Challenge...

I've just joined an Australia blogging group and they have weekly challenges :) this I hope will keep me on track and regular here (for a change Hahaha) This is last weeks challenge because I'm sooo late with everything hahaha....

Tell use TEN things you want to do in your lifetime that you've yet to achieve:

1. Do a Road Trip around Australia
   
2. Complete a Uni degree (currently working on Bach Fine arts - hoping to major in photography)
3. Survive the teenage years with my kids!!!
4. Travel out of Australia at least once
5. Live in one house for at least 5 years
6. Become organised
7. Be brave enough to start my own business
8. Finish scrapbooking all our photo's (not helped by my incessant need to keep photographing the kids LOL)
9. Be happy with myself
   
10. run/walk the Burnie 10 - just so I can say I've done it LOL
    

Oooooh - Spring Shopping????

I've made a biiig mistake - I opened a couple of websites with seeds and gardening devices when the sun was shining, I'm now trying to resist the little "paypal" button on them... augh it's sooo hard LOL Maybe just a few seeds will do?? Hahaha maybe, maybe not LOL I'm going to try to grow some spaghetti squash again and heirloom carrots - the kids love the purple variety ;) ahhhh I'm pathetic ROFL

I'm also trying to justify purchasing a few grow bags to grow them in.... I think the justification is winning out over any other thoughts to not get them LOL I had a little area set aside for a veggie garden here only to discover it is on top of a huuuuge ant nest - the pesky little bitey ants and I'm not too keen to try and dig it up (chicken ain't I LOL) And another plus of the grow bags is that they have a greenhouse adaption so I can grow early tomatoes next year.... See said I was a sucker Hahaha

Kahli is home from school today, she has been sleeping a lot over the weekend and said she was unwell this morning, I was sooo not in the mood to argue and send her only to have the school call and say to pick her up so she's sitting in the chair playing her DS - she's not ill, I'm sure of it but **sigh** I've got no energy to fight - another "sucker" moment there LOL

Well Dommy is fast asleep, I'm off to possibly grab a little nap myself... Still under the weather but hoping the antibiotics will kick in and things start to look up soon :)

Back to it.....

It being my blog :)

I know I've been sooooo sooo slack - a lot has happened this year, not all can be shared here but all I can say is bring on 2010!!!

So what did I update last?? Omg - no idea LOL

Anyways March we went to WA for Nathan's friends wedding - had a GREAT time :) and lots of piccies to share ;) 2 weeks after we returned a good friend of mine passed away with no warning and no reason :( natural causes at 29 years of age?? hmmm so hard to understand that but it's the official findings by the coroner :(

Then I've had kids sick, me sick (lost my voice for almost a month!!!) ummm what else... Nathan has been passing out with no explanation at the moment - he's just had an EEG to rule out a return of his epilepsy - which is the lesser of the reasons that are currently being investigated.... so I've some added stress there too, umm other stuff - there's lots but what to mention here LOL Actually more to the point what can I remember hahaha - mental blanks reign supreme here at the moment haha Oh yes, my dad has recently bee diagnosed with prostrate cancer, and found out on his 65th birthday that it can be treated with one shot of radiation all going well so hopefully things are going to be good there :) oh and how can I forget - my little boy has turned 1 year old!!!!

Anyways it's bee busy busy and things never run smooth for us but I guess you take what you get right and work with it... No use complaining too much as we are alive and as much as things can hurt at least we are experiencing it and have the opportunity to grow and learn from it - easy to say when looking back, not so easy to see when going through....

So where are we right now?? Right now I have Domenik screaming to be lot down from his high chair... Nathan's offering him his sippy cup first.. not sure if it will work but can only try LOL Th older kids are in their respective bedrooms meant to be cleaning but fighting instead... BTW Sippy cup was a no-go... He's got his way and being released from high captivity lol ummm and me, I'm sitting at my laptop trying to type a blog entry with a keyboard that is missing it's N, shift, control and enter buttons, suffering a mild headache from a sinus infection ad coughing up a lung from what I think could be a chest infection that I will get treated this afternoon when the docs open at 2pm....

So life does go on, things happen that we must learn from and try to bounce back from and I've sooo many piccies to upload and share :)

I'd better run and tend to my baby boy (well not so much baby anymore LOL) as he's bouncing up and down in temper beside me trying to scream for attention - funny thing is the more you ignore his tantrum the louder he gets so the sooner we go to him... LOL I'm a sucker ROFL

Slacker

Oh have I ever been slack here!!

It feels like not much is happening, but then a lot has happened - soo hard to explain. At to be honest I'm feeling very drained so I wont try LOL It's sure to come out totally wrong!!

It looks like all our stuff on the insurance list will be covered. We're waiting on the final sign off still to happen, but the assessor said it should all be completed by the time we get back from WA.

This Sat just gone I photographed a wedding or a friend. If I never do another wedding I wont be disappointed LOL i don't think I was hard nosed enough. I didn't get nearly half of what I wanted to get done - and it wasn't helped by allowing family and friends to be there when pics were being taken to take their own happy snaps. I'd get the shot and then have to wait up to 15 mins for everyone else to get their own pics!! Some even had 5 cameras in or hanging from their hands and they snapped with each camera on the different poses I set up!! Augh - I ended up very frustrated but hope it didn't show - I was after all just getting experience etc. I got some good shots - the weather was deplorable and very little light which didn't help - as I only have on camera flash it was just too harsh for a wedding set up so had to deal the best I could. I definitely need a speedlight and faster lens!!!

It's only 2 sleeps until we head to WA - I'm starting to get butterflies etc with the planning and making sure everything is packed and prepared. I have a few last minute things i need to grab for Dom so wont be properly packed until we're leaving tomorrow night. I changed our booking for Perth today as well. I stuffed up the original bookings as we're only in Perth one night as the second night we're flying eastwards!! Sooo instead of paying $400 for 2 night accomodation I splurged it all on one night somewhere we'd never ever be able to afford or dream of under normal circumstances - we're going to be staying at an executive spa suite at the Sheraton Perth!!! My first 5 star hotel stay - bathrobes and breakky included LOL I'm really looking forward to a little bit of luxury - even if only for one night...

Well I really should shut the puter down and get some sleep - this week is going to be hectic and I can feel myself getting tense already thinking of everything I have to finalise for tomorrow.. The final pack - no going back if I miss something!!!

Oooh have to add - Dom's on all 4's and rocking like mad!! He can get the hands and knees moving, but not quite together to actually start crawling yet - he's sooooo proud of himself, he'll rock and giggle and grin at us - too cute!!! He really has the best personality and nature - a real pleasure to watch grow - although he is gorwing tooooo quickly!!!!

5 Months Old

Dom turned 5 months old a few days ago and I was too caught up with everything else to celebrate it... did a storyboard this morning for him....

Coincidence???

Toby went to his new home last night (and is being spoilt to death) an Dom woke this morning with no welts. He was down on the ground rolling around and no welts. Is it just a coincidence that he is no longer breaking out or is he really allergic to dogs???

He crawled (commando style) to Portia (our cat) today and gave her a big wet kiss deep into her fur and had no reaction, so definitely fins with cats..

In a way I hope he is allergic to dogs so I don't feel that guilty about passing Toby on, but then I love dogs and would hate or him not to have experienced owning a dog when he's a boy - that's something extra special to be able to own a dog and have their loyalty - I guess we'll know for sure in a few short weeks time.... Somehow April 2 still feels a lifetime away!!! It should hopefully be here sooner than we think!!!

One Foot After the Other....

That's pretty much what we're doing at the moment. Taking each moment at a time because we just don't know what is around the corner.

This week has raced by but at the same time been so painfully slow to get through. I know that's a total oxymoron but it's just how it feels. I've been looking forward to when the kids go to bed because I can take down the facade and try to sort through myself and what has happened, what i have to to and where we go from here.

The insurance assessor arrived Tuesday morning in the end. I spent a full day researching prices and where to replace the things we lots and typing it all up in a word document for him. I haven't totaled the list but it's not looking like a pretty sum if we had to replace it out of our pocket. just for records sake I'll paste it at the end of this entry. The assessor is writing out his statement or whatever it is he has to do then sending it to the insurer and the wait is on to see what they will cover (from what he said it all should be covered with no issue) and when the cover will come through. I keep trying to tell myself not to worry that there are people so much worse off (thinking fire victims in Vic) but it doesn't stop the feeling of emptiness that gnaws at me at the moment...

Tuesday we also had Dom paed appointment. We got a prescription for phenergan!!! The first dose didn't knock him around too much but helped ease the welts. He had a second dose on Wed night and he was drowsy almost immediately - he sooo didn't like the sensation and fought it all the way to the land of nod - but it helped his welts soooo much!!!! Phenergan isn't really available for children under 2 years - and especially not for those under 6 months but the severity of Doms reactions this last week meant he needed something and we can't really give him the IM dose - so the oral liquid it is. Got asked soooo many questions etc at the pharmacist when we presented the request for it!! We've been written into their little drug bible so we'd better not spill the bottle and have to ask for some more LOL - could be a bit tricky!!!

Wednesday I had my full check up. Bloods and everything are ok - especially considering I hemorrhaged with Dom - one good thing :) My blood pressure was as high as it was when I was pg and working under stress - 140/95. I kinda expected that after the week I've had so I really have to work on stopping worrying and getting that back to a more normal reading. Not really sure how to do that - guess once things settle down it might too - well here's hoping!!! cholesterol may be an issue later down the track. It went a bit higher last time I was pog and feeding Wil so kinda expected that as well - just have to be healthy, and I'm not sure how the elimination diet will effect it, but I'm assuming all the whole foods should be good - anyways I'm sure the Doc will keep an eye on things.

Yesterday I almost forgot a 'date' with Juliet for coffee at Cafe Bliss. Actually I did forget until she was on the phone apologising herself for being late due to her Doc - I was still at home in jammies when she rang!!!! *blush* We made it down and have a lovely chat - I think she fell a little in love with Dom - but then most people can't resist his giggles and grins LOL.

I stuffed up our child health nurse appointment too. I thought it was for this morning - only to discover it was for yesterday at 2pm *doh* Now we have to go on Monday to the open session to get Dom re-weighed to see how he's going. I'm praying he's not lost any more weight. To be honest I don't know if he's gained or not. His skin on this thighs and tummy still feel quite slack as though he's lost or not gained - guess time will tell. Also looking back on photo's taken a month ago he's lost some 'condition' on his face and his double chin has decreased... Still trying not to worry too much!!! the niggle is there though, will be much happier once we've had him re-weighed....

Well guess that's pretty much the last few days. I've started my uni course too -did the first assignment last night - had to write a short profile on myself and my experience and photographic muses. Of course it's still Peter Dombrovskis. Also Tom Roberts from the Aust Impressionist Movement -nothing changed there. Love the play on light and colour :) Not sure how I'm going to go with the course, but we'll see.. going to try to cope with it and go further with the bach of fine art thing I've been contemplating.

I also spoke to one of the senior managers at work and will put in writing my request for a further 12 months maternity leave based on Domeniks reactions and allergies. He said he can't see where there would be too much of an issue with it. There's no way I could leave Dom at a child care centre at the moment - tooooo risky!!! I'll put it all in writing once he's had the skin prick tests and see where we are heading from there... at least if it's approved it will still see me being employed - just unpaid at the moment until I return - I can handle that... so long as my little boy is to some extent safe - it gives me options - something i desperately need right now!!!!


Oooh one more thing - the owner of this property has offered to extend my lease another 6 months I really don't know what to do. I think the house in Ross street has gone :( I think if the Ross street house was/is still available I'd prefer to take that just for the security. With this one we'll have to move either way - it's in 3-4 weeks or 6 months, the one in Ross street is a newly purchased property for investment purposes - so a long term opportunity - something the kids need... it's also in their school zoning so means security there. Trying not to think too hard about it because like I said i think it's gone - we'll just see what is available in 4 bedroom properties next week and go from there - at the worse we have a roof over our head for another 6 months :)

Okies, copying and pasting that list and then have to make some lactation cookies for Lee that are grossly overdue!!!!

******

Remote Control Cars x2 Rcpt shown from Leading Edge Electronics

Adult Sunglasses x2 Invoice for proof of purchase attached.
Quote for replacement attached. Quote is for one pair with 2 lenses. Glasses that were lost had 6 lenses, we are happy to settle for 2 lenses due to these no longer being available and the increased cost of this brand.

Childrens Sunglasses x4 @ Approx $25 each

Fishing Rods x2 Sale tag provided.

Crate of Cleaning Gear Cleaning kit collapsible bucket $16.95 - Kmart
Rain-X Anti Fog $8.95 - Kmart
Rain-X $8.95 - Kmart
Squeegee $9.95 – Kmart
Microfibre cloths $7.95-Woolies
Rags ???
Crate $15.00-Kmart

iPod (old version) Due to over 5 years since purchase unable to supply receipt or invoice. Replacement with current available model $199.

Fishing Tackle Box Put together by grandfather for children. Approx $50

Car Tool Kit Gift from Grandfather
Approx $50

Nintendo DS Gift to Son for birthday. Replacement value $199

DS case $34.95 – EB Games
http://www.ebgames.com.au/DS/product.cfm?ID=7834

DS Game – Spore $59.95 – EB Games
DS Game – Pokemon Diamond $69.95 – EB Games
DS Game – Drawn to Life $69.95 – EB Games
Spongebob

Nappy Bag – Kapoochi Carry All $109.95 - www.babyzonedirect.com.au

CGR Med Nappy + Singlet Set x2 @$43.00 each sourced: www.cgrdesign.com.au

Bubblebubs Med Nappy x2 @$31.95 each sourced: www.bubblebubs.com.au

Itti Bitti D’lish “snap in” Nappy x2 @$29.95 each sourced: www.ittibitti.com.au

Wetbag Set $18.00 sourced: www.babysoftlandings.com.au

T Shirt and Short Sets x2 @$25 each – Kmart/Best and Less

Socks x 2 pair $6.95 for 2 pr – Kmart/Best and Less

Panadol Infant Drops $6.95 – Priceline Pharmacy

Bottom Balm + Cream Sold in Sample Set $26.95
Sourced: www.organicbeautyworld.com.au

Cloth Wipes $5.00

Simmons Paw Paw Cream $4.95 Sourced: onlinepharmacy.com.au

NUK Dummy’s x2 $13.95 - KMart

Baby Bucket Hat $18.95 Cancer Council

Picnic Blanket $19.95 – Kmart

Sunshades for Windows $10.00 Chickenfeed

First Aid Kit $156.95 – Large Leisure - St Johns.

Epi-Pen $106.00 – Priceline Pharmacy

Nurofen for Children $14.95 – Priceline Pharmacy

Kids clothing – Jumpers @$20 approx x 3
- Shoes @$30 approx x 2
-Band Uniform $40 Jumper
$30 Trousers

Dangerous Book For Boys $45.00
http://www.dymocks.com.au/ProductDetails/ProductDetail.aspx?R=9780732286354&Producode=9780732286354


Spiderwick Chronicles $39.95
http://billykids.com.au/pd-the-spiderwick-chronicles-complete-first-serial.cfm

Go Girl! Anniversary Book $26.95
http://www.dymocks.com.au/ProductDetails/ProductDetail.aspx?R=9781921417498&Producode=9781921417498

Tasmanian Street Directory $30.95
http://www.mapsdownunder.com.au/cgi-bin/mapshop/UBD-68634.html

G3 Powermac Apple Computer Images attached for proof of ownership. New models have just been released and prices have changed since your visit. Details for replacements available at http://store.apple.com/au/browse/home/shop_mac/family/mac_pro?mco=MTE2NjQ

Folding travel pram and bag Unable to locate a stroller exactly the same. Closest style like it is the Quicksmart Easy Fold Stroller. $229au
http://www.urbanbaby.com.au/ecomm5000.sf/?ObjectPath=/Shops/UrbanBaby/Products/QSEFS/SubProducts/QSEFS-0001


**since your visit we have realised a few other things that were in the vehicle **
(thanks to the wet weather ☺)


Pram Storm Cover $29.94
http://www.babyzonedirect.com.au/catalogue/c11/c339/p1984

Umbrellas 2x regular handbag umbrellas $12.95 Kmart
1x golf umbrella $29.95 KMart

******

5 Days of Reactions....

Like this - I wish I could fix my little man!!!! Paed appointment tomorrow - something reasonably positive to hold onto I guess.... Oh the big welts on his legs are lots of smaller normal sized ones that have joined up together :(







Oh and we're waiting for the insurance assessor still - apparently he left Launceston at 1pm to head up the coast.. no idea when he'll be here - my list is prepared though :)

I've had Enough!!!

Breaking point has been reached. Dom is now onto his 4th day of constant allergies and welts and I don't know what from. I feel so awful not being able to help him out of his misery - he must be so sore, itchy and over it too. The doctors can't do anything except prescribe him paracetamol because he's so little :(

Dom's also lost weight. It's this age that William started having issues with stopping growing and his allergies becoming apparent. William should not be here according to the Paed - I don't want to think about the hard slog we may have ahead of us with Dom - it's too painful to think about what we had to go through with Wil, let alone knowing what my little baby boy may have ahead of him - trying o be positive that he'll not have the multiple food protein intolerance's that went with Williams allergies and caused a lot of his issues - but the thoughts just keep coming... He's lost around 150g from bare weights in a week. That's how much he had been putting on - not losing!!! I know there could be other feasible reasons, his increased activity with rolling etc, the constant allergies could have taken their toll on his system with the vomiting starting back up - I just don't know - feels too much like de-ja-vu though :( We're back on weekly weigh ins to keep a closer eye on him.

We're still finding stuff that was in the blue car too - Aleks DS that was his present for his 8th birthday, kids sunglasses, Kahli's and Aleks books they got for Christmas - the list seems to grow and grow!! Little things just add up and I hope they're to be covered with insurance!!! The police haven't even asked neighbours etc if they saw anyone around the car etc - they're not actively investigating, apparently this kind of thing happens all the time - wish it was reported more in the news so the naive general public like me are more aware - not that it would probably have changed anything....

Then today a war on facebook errupts between family and I'm stuck in the middle I've had a crap enough week as it is to not have to deal with this as well!!! Why do people think I want to hear over and over what bad one person has done - I can't change the world!!! I've enough on my own plate to try and cope with my own life at the moment to have to worry about being stuck in the middle again.

Right now I just want to curl up in a dark room and be forgotten about.. I want to forget the world exists for a little bit and let these bruises that I've had inflicted on me this past week heal before I have to show my face again. I'm over being kicked and pushed and expected to just bounce back time after time after time....

I'm at breaking point and no one seems to care - they/life just throw more stuff at me - enough is enough!!! Just let me go and heal!!!

Where do people get the idea that I'll just cope.. life has NEVER been a picnic for me!!! I've had enough of getting up and rolling with the punches... I need to build up some more energy before even thinking about getting up again....

Life goes on....

The numbness is slowly ebbing away I think - only think.... I haven't got angry at what has happened as yet - waiting or it but it either isn't coming or not here yet. A times I feel like I need to sit and cry everything out but it wont come...

The contents insurance will cover items that we lost in the car, however nothing that was fixed such as CD player, car seat etc... I've lost some of Dom's favourite nappies - his CGR's are my biggest loss, at $45 a set it's also an expensive loss *sob* I'm also down some itti bitti D'lish and Bubblebubs. Hoping that the insurance will cover them, I don't think a claim for nappies is something they would normal see LOL. We lost both our boys remote control cars that they got for Christmas - the shop we purchased them from will allow up to re-purchase at the same price when the insurance comes through which is great - considering there has been a price rise!! There were some other things in there that all add up to around $5.5k - the list doesn't look that big, but things sure do add up - just sunglasses alone are around the $600 mark!!! It makes me wonder if we need to re-look at the contents insurance and up it a little for the house... The insurance assessor is coming our Monday to discuss everything with me and let me know what is covered, what isn't, what needs proof of purchase etc - hopefully it wont be too drawn out a process as we'll be in WA in 3 weeks time, I'd like it to be concluded by then!!!!

We had another scare with Dom this morning. Nathan was here waiting for the assessor to ring and he made some toast but didn't wash his hands after spreading it - it seems the utter on his hands caused an allergic reaction in Dom :( He first came up in just a couple of welts, I thought yeah it's nothing major, but in the space of a few minutes he was COVERED!!! He even had tiny welts on his little toes!!! Dom didn't seem to mind too much, he became grisly and a bit rattly in his chest but it was almost all gone within an hour and a half by the time the emergency room doctor got the chance to cal out his name. (what a long wait in an empty ER!!!) He now has a residual eczema type rash on his back, tummy and legs. I'm hoping he doesn't itch and scratch too much. Because of his age there isn't much we can do except if it happens again take him back to the ER. We can't give anything like claratyne until he is at least 6 months old which is really restrictive - with Williams reactions like this a dose of claratyne cleared it before it got too bad - hence the race to the ER if it ever happens again.

Due to the reaction I've gone around the Dr referral system which seems to be taking ages to get appointments for him (no one has apparently heard of children of this age having such acute reactions *sigh* old stomping ground again) and gone straight to Dr Smith (was Taylor) at Rose Cottage Medical in Launceston and have an appointment for testing on April 2nd. We're also on a stand by list if there's a cancellation - hoping there's a cancellation before we head to WA **fingers crossed**

Guess that's got me pretty much up to date so far. Things are muddling along, life continues and things happen. roll with the punches and hope that nothing too scary jumps out at us again I guess...

What a Waste!!!!

Well I did ask if one more thing would tip me over the edge, but I didn't expect it to actually happen!!!!

Today we took om to Hobart to see the paed surgeon. We were up at 3.45am to be ready and leave by 5am. It was dark and cool - so cool that the heater was required in the car!! We were treated to the most spectacular sunrise when passing through Deloraine and all the way past Longford - it was simply stunning!!!! At 8.30am we hit Bridgewater thinking we'd make the appointment in plenty of rime - only to find out we were in the middle of peak hour traffic LOL It took an hour to travel from Bridgewater to Hobart city - something that the reas estate assured us would take no more than 10 minutes when we were looking at moving to Hobart when Wil was a baby - hmm think that 10 mins was a slight exaggeration hehehe.

We made the appointment on time with a screaming Dom The plan was to arrive in Hobart with 30-45 min left to change Dom and feed him ready to see the Dr. We didn't have time for that so raced to the appt and made it on time, dressed and fed Dom in the waiting room - if anyone was offended then tough LOL He needed feeding!! Sorry a bit sensitive about those who's sensitivities are upset by the sight of a mother feeding their baby....

OK - the appointment - The paed hadn't real the referral letter - he had no idea why we were even there!!!! To top things off he tells us that he wont consider phimosis a reason for circ under the age of 2 years - he believes it can correct itself *sigh* At the appointment he told us that he believes Dom will be ok and not need the op and that his nappies are the reason for his infections - I kinda saw red LOL and advised that he has not had any nappy rash, swelling, redness etc since using cloth nappies, the only rash he's ever had was the allergic reaction to disposies. He backtracked to that and said there may be an internal issue causing the infections. Anyways we walked out of there kinda feeling weird - We were told that basically Dom shouldn't have been referred until he was 2 years old so we wasted our money and time to go to Hobart - the Dr's up here should have known that information - soooooo annoyed!! Oh and the steroid treatment was not necessary to put him through either apparently grrr... Will be having a word to the kids GP tomorrow when discussing their allergies to see if he believes we should maybe consider having him privately circed when we're in Melbourne in a few weeks time.

So we drive back home, I had to take over driving at Deloraine because Nathan was falling asleep at the wheel LOL. Get back to Devonport, pick the older brats up and get home around 10pm.

We turn the corner into our street and our little blue hatchback is missing I thought it was weird, but it was feasible that the council may have towed it as it was if they wanted to be nasty illegally parked (there's no parking areas for this house so we squeeze the cars as close to the curb as possible and away from the corner as possible - so far no issues) So I send Nathan into the house to check for notices to say it was towed whilst I get the sleeping kids from the car... He didn't come back to the car so I went to investigate to find him on the phone reporting the car as stolen. There were no notices from the council - nothing :(

The police were to come out straight away to take a statement so we start unpacking the car as we'd stayed at my parents the night before due to the early trip to Hobart. About 5 minutes later I get a call on the home phone - someone asking for me. It was the police. They asked if I knew where my vehicle was.. I said well well just reported it stolen - and asked did they know where it was. I was praying that it wasn't involved in an accident where someone was hurt etc. The coms guy confirmed he did and I asked was it in an accident etc He told me they found it down south. To which I said that we'd just been in hobart today!!! Then he tells me that I'm not going to like what he has to tell me - it was set alight in broadbeach. My little mazda is gone!!!

Anyways about 10 mins later a female officer came to take my statement. During this time she received notification from coms that the car was gutted and nothing was recoverable.

I'm just so numb - it hasn't sunk in yet. It probably will tomorrow when I go out and she isn't there. Now I have no form of alternate transport for Nathan to use with the kids etc - I'm back to one car and being restricted!!

What bugs me is that i can't remember what was in there!! I think my good CD player was - I know one of the boys remote control cars was - they are $400 a pop!!! As was their fishing rods... Aleks eMusicians uniform, umm Ive no idea what else!!! Possibly some of Dom's good MCN (nappies) which are around $35 each!!! I just can't remember what was in there!! Soooo frustrating!!!

So right now I'm sitting here typing this out - desperate to feel something but nothing comes. I want to cry and vent but I don't feel anything. It's probably normal to feel like this after a shock that I've just had, I don't know - there's surely some rationale for it... just wish that my life would go smoothly for a change....

BTW The older kids are all upset - they're sleeping together in Aleks bed, too scared to turn the light out. They asked if the police found our car and when I said yes when we would be getting it back. The poor things were so distressed when I told them we wouldn't that the bad people set it on fire that I felt so awful for telling them the truth - I hope I did the right thing.... What does one tell their children about something like this?!?!?

I really need to try and get some sleep, wonder if there's any chance of that now....

So what a waste of our time going to Hobart, our fuel going to Hobart, my beautiful car that was such a symbol of independence for me (when Nathan and I separated he took the car and I purchased this one myself - it was mine and showed me I could make it alone by myself and provide for my children etc) was wasted in flames, what a waste in general of when promised to be such a great day to start with - it's ended in such a wasteful way.....