Sunday, March 1, 2009

I've had Enough!!!

Breaking point has been reached. Dom is now onto his 4th day of constant allergies and welts and I don't know what from. I feel so awful not being able to help him out of his misery - he must be so sore, itchy and over it too. The doctors can't do anything except prescribe him paracetamol because he's so little :(

Dom's also lost weight. It's this age that William started having issues with stopping growing and his allergies becoming apparent. William should not be here according to the Paed - I don't want to think about the hard slog we may have ahead of us with Dom - it's too painful to think about what we had to go through with Wil, let alone knowing what my little baby boy may have ahead of him - trying o be positive that he'll not have the multiple food protein intolerance's that went with Williams allergies and caused a lot of his issues - but the thoughts just keep coming... He's lost around 150g from bare weights in a week. That's how much he had been putting on - not losing!!! I know there could be other feasible reasons, his increased activity with rolling etc, the constant allergies could have taken their toll on his system with the vomiting starting back up - I just don't know - feels too much like de-ja-vu though :( We're back on weekly weigh ins to keep a closer eye on him.

We're still finding stuff that was in the blue car too - Aleks DS that was his present for his 8th birthday, kids sunglasses, Kahli's and Aleks books they got for Christmas - the list seems to grow and grow!! Little things just add up and I hope they're to be covered with insurance!!! The police haven't even asked neighbours etc if they saw anyone around the car etc - they're not actively investigating, apparently this kind of thing happens all the time - wish it was reported more in the news so the naive general public like me are more aware - not that it would probably have changed anything....

Then today a war on facebook errupts between family and I'm stuck in the middle I've had a crap enough week as it is to not have to deal with this as well!!! Why do people think I want to hear over and over what bad one person has done - I can't change the world!!! I've enough on my own plate to try and cope with my own life at the moment to have to worry about being stuck in the middle again.

Right now I just want to curl up in a dark room and be forgotten about.. I want to forget the world exists for a little bit and let these bruises that I've had inflicted on me this past week heal before I have to show my face again. I'm over being kicked and pushed and expected to just bounce back time after time after time....

I'm at breaking point and no one seems to care - they/life just throw more stuff at me - enough is enough!!! Just let me go and heal!!!

Where do people get the idea that I'll just cope.. life has NEVER been a picnic for me!!! I've had enough of getting up and rolling with the punches... I need to build up some more energy before even thinking about getting up again....
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