Christmas - New Year Lull...

It's that funny time of year where nothing is really happening, but so much is... Shops are closed that usually would be open and then there are others that are open that really suprise you... That week inbetween Christmas and New Year where things jsut seem to drift by in the waning excitement from Christmas onto the excitement and buildin tension in the wait for the next year to begin...

This is the lull, the little sparks of tension that I'm talking about.... Christmas excitement is widning down, but you know just around the corner is the new excitement of 2011 starting...

And 2011 is going to be a HUGE one for us!!! So many new things to experience, learn and so many more areas in which to grow and find ourselves :) This is the year we will find out feet and start making inroads into our lives in South Australia. This is a year of great positivity and energy... This is OUR YEAR!!!!!

Yes I'm excited for it to start.. I'm really excited to see this year pass and a new one start. I know in reality it's simply a date.. it's nothing major... but I'm allowing it to signify the change from our journey starting and ending to our growth and settling beginning :)

It's also the year (God willing) that we will finish our family :) Welcoming a new little one into our hearts and home :) We've already started looking at names and working out logistics etc... Our car will be enough for now, we have more than enough room in the house for another family let alone 1 more bubba LOL And we are getting onto our feet financially and emotionally to feel strong enough to have no fear about what a new one will bring in relation to any stresses on finances and emotions. We're ready for this to happen... we're strong enough for this little one to enter our lives and we're excited that they will be joining us in August :)
As I said, we've been looking into names... Our girls name we're set on - it was what Dommy was to be called - I might change the spelling back to the more original gaelic spelling - I think... I research all our childrens names to try and find the most authentic and original spellings and definitions... but I'm thinking I might swap a little on the spelling for our girls name - I think... I guess we'll see closer to the day and if we get to use a girls name!!!! Our boys name we kinda decided and settled on today... With so many boys and males on both sides of the family we're fast running out of options that will fit in with our boys names!! But we've found one and I love it!!! Now to see if I still love it in approximately 222 days time!!! LOL

Anyways, with this lull so many things have been going on and around in my head... So many thoughts and things to look forward to and excitement to try and reign in... I really feel positive about the changes and lessons we've learned in 2010 and can't wait for 2011 to roll around so we start a new year in our new home and can continue to put these lessons to good use and continue to move foward :)

Bring on 2011 - I can't wait!!!!

Happy Holidays!!!

I trust everyone had a spectacular Christmas Season - whether you celebrate Christmas or not it truly is a magical time of year :) We had a different one this year being that it is our first year away from family back in Tasmania. We didn't have any traveling or commitments other than a chat on skype so we had a rather relaxing day - even all my stress about getting the Christmas lunch feast together and edible at the same time was for nothing as it all simply worked :)

It looks like we've started a new family tradition for Christmas Eve... We drove the full 5 minutes from our house to a local cherry farm and picked our own cherries to top our pavlova with. It was a great afternoon - all be it hot (the in town weather thermometer said it was 34*C!!!)

and before we knew it it was time to swap our family presents on Christmas Eve - we do this so the children aren't too overwhelmed by the big day when Santa comes and spoils them (if they've been good enough) Everyone went to bed happy and excited for our big Christmas day...

And Christmas morning arrives, children all up and out of bed oohhing and ahhing all before 5am **yawn** I remember the excitement of Christmas morning as a child myself and I love that they are sharing that little bit of magical anticipation themselves :)

and as I mentioned earlier, after a chat on skype to family it was time to eat!!! And well, I kinda prepared too much LOL But then isn't that the Christmas way?? Chicken, ham and turkey with veggies, finished off with pavlova chocolate log cake and icecream - where's the pudding?? Well even now it's still in the fridge LOL We forgot about it!!! ROFL

So I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and are looking forward to 2011 as much as I am. It's going to be a great year - I just know it!!! 2010 was our year for change and 2011 is the year for us to start afresh and make a new beginning and start moving forward :)

Merry Christmas and a Happy 2011!!!!

Seasons Greetings!!!

I'm being politically correct LOL Sad eh that some people can be offended by the phrase Merry Christmas - but oh well ;)

This year has so far been one hell of a ride and as much as it's been painful at times I can look back and see how far we've come and how much we've grown, learned and accomplished :) It's really been the year of the Journey this 2010 - and it's going to be a little sad to see the end of it... With Christmas merely days away it's a time for us to look back and contemplate where we have come and where we are - It's a time to be making happy memories and remembering those that have came into (and in some sad cases left) our lives.

This year has brought many joys, some sadness and a lot of unexpected growing pains but I'm so glad it's been a year that we have experienced. It really has been a time of growth and re-assessing where and who we are - and it's a starting point for us.

The end of the year has also brought us immense joy as we celebrate the fact that we will be completing our family come August of 2011 - yes we're expecting a new bundle of joy!!! He/She is doing really well with a lot of monitoring to ensure that all is progressing well. I had another scan yesterday which confirmed we have a gorgeously beautiful heartbeat at around 150bpm and a little splodge around 7 weeks and 3 days in gestation. This has been unexpected news for some as no one knew we hadn't quite finished our family yet - but here we are, and we're overjoyed that after experiencing 2 late losses in the past 12 months that it looks like this little one is hanging on and determined to join us :)

So with great joy and happiness from our house to yours :) we really do wish you all the very best of this joyous season - many laughs, hugs and in some cases happy tears :)

Make the most of this beautiful time of year... be merry, be happy and above all be safe!!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

From my happy (and growing) family
xxx Treens, Nathan, Aleksandir, Kahli, William, Domenik and *splodge* xxx

Tomorrow.....

tomorrow, I love ya tomorrow.... I love that song from Annie, and today I'm pretty much in a state where everything is hinging on tomorrow... Tomorrow our car is booked into vehicular hospital for repairs, tomorrow is my last payday before Christmas, tomorrow I have some more tests so I get a clearer picture on what is going on with me of late... so TOMORROW is a big day for me....

I'm praying everything will have a positive outcome - we will be back up and running with our car (the poor neglected things that hasn't been serviced etc since we moved over here **gasp**) I will get the final Christmas shopping completed and we will have happy children come Saturday and that all will be well with me and I have some definite answers!!!

So bring on tomorrow :)

It's only a day away......

Slap Cheek is in da house!!!

Of all the times to get sick the car chooses this week as does Dommy!!! The car is booked into hospital next Wed - until then we're going to be taking advantage of the gorgeous South Australian weather and walking a lot (hmmm it better stay gorgeous!!! LOL) as for Dommy - he has slap cheek :(

I thought he had an allergic reaction to some of the grasses that had shot up in the warm wet weather we've had of late, but it didn't go away... He developed a lacy kind of rash on his thighs and upper arms - it's looks like a mottled sunburn that blanches when pressed... Anyhoos, yesterday he came up with bright red cheeks - they've been red for a while, but I put it down to teething or not being well with the gastro we've all had... He's also had some funky stuff happening in his nappies so I knew he was not 100%... but after Dr googling and calling nurse on call (or whatever it's called here) it appears we definitely have a case of slap cheek... And with the car out of action and he no longer being contagious it's probably not worth the walk into town and the $60 to get it confirmed by a dr either - so wait it out as best we can and take lots of piccies to embarrass him with at a later day mwahahaha ahh evil aren't I LOL

Update re School Situation....

Well.... I didn't go to the school Monday morning. instead I rang the education department and asked their opinion on what to do from here. They agree with my gut feeling (that had been brewing all weekend) that going to the school would achieve nothing other than to get my blood pressure up - they hadn't taken duty of care with a long standing incident with Kahli so why would they with this situation when my children were not returning to the school??

So where do we go from here? I'm putting EVERYTHING in writing - from what Kahli has gone through to the fact the school refused to assist with getting my kids referred to the education provided psychologist (which I found out last week should have been done!!! grrr) and then to what Aleks endured on the last day of school.

The person I spoke to was disgusted themselves. There is nothing that can explain why my kids have been treated this way, and one can only assume that the school isn't used to parents wanting to be involved or standing up for their children! Regardless, my eldest two children have both been let down by the school, teachers, school counselor and principal who were meant to be there to keep them safe, not just physically but also emotionally as well. They have FAILED in their duty of care. And to top it off - the teacher that allowed the teasing and bullying of Kahli to continue was slated to be William's teacher next year!!!

So I have been writing drafts of the letter, I'm trying to keep emotions out of it and be factual as possible... it's not going to be a short letter, I will put in there about how Kahli's behaviour at times hasn't been the most exemplary - however this is still no excuse for what has been happening to her.

I doubt we'll hear anything more from the school. I will finish the letter of complaint asking for details of the outcome, but wont be holding my breath LOL. I'm so relieved that we took a stand though and have moved our kids to a new school.. It's a smaller school, they wont get lost in the system and hopefully will be more comfortable in a school that has zero tolerance to bullies and has a caring attitude towards their children - and a school that will let Aleks work at the level he needs to, not simply float along being accelerated through the classes to help boost their numbers, not because he is at the adequate level to move onto those classes!!! It's looking good for 2011, but I'm not wearing rose coloured glasses, it's going to be a tough start for the kids moving to another new school... but things are definitely looking better :)

Soz...

Sorry according to the song is the hardest word, but it's one I seem to be saying lately!!!

Mostly due to lack of action. I've been sick - sick enough to turn up to the doctors and now be at the beck and call of radiologists and pathology vampires... Oh it's nothing serious - it will all work out in the end, but for the moment I'm a human pincushion and have a diary full of appointments from last week and well into the new year!!!

Once everything is confirmed and we're well on the way to getting things sorted and settled I should be ok to share a little of what is happening, but at the moment I've been struggling but am starting to get back on top of my life ;) This week I intend on catching up with things, next week will be starting to move forward again and the week after will be celebrating Christmas and making beautiful memories (well we try to do that every day but Christmas is something that little bit more magical!!!!)

So I'm sorry again for lack of action, communication, scrapping, creativity etc etc etc... I promise I WILL be back creating, sharing and posting soon ;) I'm a work in progress and at the moment a lot of work behind the scene is going on to get things back running at full steam again :)

Disgusted

I feel sick to the core, absolutely disgusted and stomach churning ill for Aleksandir. Today was his last day at the school the children have been attending. I'm sure the world knows the issues we've had there with Kahli... Well Aleks also has been complaining frequently about bullying, teasing and the likes - I've witnessed it from kids from the school that also attend bowling but they know now I wont settle for it so it's stopped there. We know Aleks is different and can be very sensitive to social things and can't at times differentiate between good natures larking and nasty teasing so I've relied on the teachers etc to monitor this as they know his special quirks.

Anyways today being his last day at school and at that school in particular he came home with his shirt signed by kids whom were meant to be his friends.

Sounds normal right?

WRONG!!!

Seriously, I feel sooo awful for my boy... The words and names the wrote on the shirt are soul destroying!! He has walked around school all day with this shirt on - not being aware what his so called friends and class mates had written on his back... not knowing they were snickering behind his back and OMG I feel so destroyed for him!!!

To think that his teachers would have been aware what was on his shirt - it's pretty plain to see... that they didn't have the forethought to care enough to get him a shirt from the lost property and change it out - or to even call me... They let him wander around school with comments like "f@ggot" "kick me" "you suck" "f** you" "you have no balls f@g" These are just a few of the things other 11 and 12 year old so called friends have written on Aleksandirs shirt!!! Oh and there's more.. that's some of the ones off the top of my head - I feel like going into the principal of the school and show her just how much her teachers are looking after my childrens psychological welfare!!!

There are no words to describe how I feel at the moment.. I'm crossed between a fit of rage and indignation and falling into a heap of tears knowing that I allowed my children to enter this so called safe institution to be treated like this - there is no excuse for this - I DO hold the school responsible!!! They allowed him to wear these names, these words and this branding all day!!! Absolutely shameful MacDonald Park Primary School in Mount Gambier - totally and utterly shamefull!!!!

Yes a written complaint will be forwarded to the education department - enough is enough... I've reached my total limit!!!!!


PS: I've been offline a while due to gastro bug hitting us bad - never rains but it pours ;) LOL

P - Day :)

P as in PUDDING!!!!

Yesterday we completed making our Christmas puddings - the mix smelt yummy, as did the house whilst they were cooking away :) Only thing is that even after 6 hours happily bubbling away they still weren't cooked.. so today I pop them in the oven for a bit on low and that seems to be a bit more successful... Hmmmm I wonder if the heat and humidity whilst making them had something to do with that!?!?!?

Anyhoos... we have 3 puddings and 1 Christmas cake - all from the one mix!!! It made HEAPS!!!

so my...

December Daily - Dec 5

Pudding Day!!!! All 4 kids joined in to help complete the puddings we started the night before. The smell from the marinated fruit was divine - Christmas in a sniff!!!

We had 3 pudding bowls so the older 3 buttered one up each - Dommy helped breaking the eggs up to add to the mix and Kahli and William measured out the remaining dry ingredients (William wore them should I say!!!)

"Look mum, all buttered up!!!"

"yum yum"

They all had a ceremonious stirring of the Christmas pudding. i think I read ot somewhere that this is a traditional thing to do to for good luck into the following year or over Christmas... I'm not sure which one but will look it up ;)

Aleks the king of stirring!!!

Dommy loves being a "big boy" :)

Kahli had to fight Dommy to keep the bowl - he didn't want to give it up!!!

William finding it harder than he thought...
Now is there more flour in the bowl or on his face!?!?!?!?

And with the stirring done we filled the pudding bowls...




And covered them with baking paper and foil ready to boil....

Yuuuuumo!!!!

December Daily

December Daily - Dec 4

It was a HOT HOT day today!!! the thermometer apparently reached 36*C!!! We spent the morning doing a bit of scrafty Christmas wrapping and shopping with Vicki and then in the afternoon preparing our fruit for our Christmas Pudding!!!

We are using Grand-nans original recipe, but we had to convert all the measurements because it is in imperial (pound and ounces) not metric (kilos and grams).

Collecting (and sampling) the ingredients

After carefully measuring it all out, all the fruit came together in a bowl to be marinated in marmelade, orange and lemon juice and a full bottle of St Agnes Brandy - well the full bottle was only 150ml worth but full bottle sounded good :)

Hmmm Luckily this was BEFORE the brandy was added - naughty Aleks!!!!

Then once all mixed it was covered and left to marinate overnight :)


It's starting to smell a lot like Christmas already!!!! :)

A Scare....

Last night I had no sleep - well I didn't get to put my head to pillow properly until 5am! We had 2 boys down with what I believe to be a touch of heatstroke. Dommy was the worst - I really thought it was going to be a trip to hospital.

Just as I was heading to bed and locking up the house, all the usual end of day still I hear him start to cry. I asked Nathan to go re-dummy him thinking that he'd just lost his dummy and was stirring but it didn't work... Nathan brought him into our bedroom and I could tell instantly he wasn't well :( As much as he was crying he was limp. His eyes were rolling in the back of his head and he just didn't move apart from to cry... he was soooo hot, yet not sweating....

I didn't think it was that hot a night but he had spent an energetic day out shopping with me, playing with the kids in the shed and out in the sun... I heard someone say we hit 36*C yesterday - and I've no doubt about that.. it was a stinking hot day and very humid... a draining kind of day...

I was trying to comfort Dommy when he stopped making any noise, I thought the worst (strange how mums do that) and tried to get a response from him... I noticed that he seemed to be choking, he had vomited and hadn't cleared his airways so once we turned him over and cleared his airways he started to cry again although still limp and lethargic :( He still vomited a little bit more and I made him take a drink of water... I poured water over him, head back etc etc... It drenched our bed but I didn't care... He was soooo hot - the inside of his little palms were burning my fingers where he was holding on!!!

It took about 5 minutes of cooling with water and forcing him to take sips of water before he started to come around... Whether he was half asleep or not I can't be sure but he really gave me a good scare!!! when we decided he was alert enough to move him he refused to go to Nathan - he was a mummy's boy LOL so Nathan had to change the sheets hehehe

Once we re-settled, Dommy in with us so I could monitor him I heard William a the other end of the house start complaining.... he was feeling unwell, headaches and a cramped foot. I settled him but 5 minutes later (just as I was starting to doze off) I heard him running up the hallway... He was sick too... but he made the toilet in time - this time around!! William was up and down all night with headaches and vomiting :( We had a couple of accidents along the ways - just more washing to add to the pile LOL but he was much more responsive than Dommy and pro-active in re-hydrating (thank goodness!!!)

So today I sit at home, trying to keep the house cool - putting off finishing out Christmas Puddings until later in the afternoon and keeping an eye on my little boys... I've never seen them so sick like this before - and Dommy really had me worrying!!!! When I stop and think about what happened it seemed that their bodies simply didn't cool themselves down. Aleks and Kahli and we were ok, but the little ones (yes William is little - there's nothing to him!!!) bodies just didn't seem to kick in and cool themselves down when the temp reduced. We're going to have to start a routine of cool showers/baths in the evening to kick this process off - we are after all only just in the beginning of summer, it's going to get much hotter than this in the days, weeks, months ahead!!!

Oh and in case anyone was wondering, Dommy is his normal self today (along with some purple smudges under his eyes) he's super energetic and happy playing hide and see in an old packing box....



William hasn't pulled up so well, he's got headaches and listless today.... We're pumping him full of fluid and keeping an eye on him again...

Elf!!!!

This movie has become the kids tradition to watch every Christmas. They love it - and last night was no exception... Even though they're seen it time after time they still fall into fits of giggles over the character Wil Ferrel plays. I love the innocence of this movie - it really captures the Christmas spirit for me.. I know elves are not what Christmas is really about - but this movie helps inject a little bit of magic into something that has become so overcommercialised...

So onto my daily....


December Daily - Dec 3

Today the children watched their Christmas Movie - Elf. It was the first year that Dommy has really been into watching TV, and he was enthralled as much as his older siblings were.

All four rugrats watching 'Elf"

Kahli has taken it upon herself to be the official Christmas Countdown-er. She has been changing the days til Christmas on the santa chalkboard every morning :)

How many sleeps????

Thunderstruck!!!!

Well after a LOT of sunshine today it ended with a bang - literally!! The HUGEST thunderstorm we've ever seen!!! We apparently had 21mls of rain fall in 30 mins at one stage!!! And add to that our carport flooded as did the street outside - it turned into a mini river - had a current and all!!! I can certainly see how these flash floodings etc happen from time to time!! It's something that we have NEVER EVER experienced back in Tassie - we think it's flooded if there's a sheen of warer over the road - well not suite, but nothing to this extent ;)

Aleks wanted to go out and have a run in the rain - it was deafening under the verandah - he mustn't have heard me tell him not to go out in it....

but he found out he didn't like standing in the rain - he said it hurt!! It took all of 10 seconds for him to be drenched!!!

The street outside as the flooding began to build up - I was too chicken to be out there for long, the thunder was right on top of us at this stage - the street became fully flooded within a few minutes - you can just see that there is a flowing current even when it was this small!!!

December Daily - Dec 2

What did we do Christmasy?? Well we Santa Snowed our windows :) Kahli and William cleaned them down and the children all picked a window pane each to decorate with 3 different stencils. Domenik hasn't got a window - his job has been to see how high he can reach and try and destroy the older kids decorations - he's on a self imposed seek and destroy mission ROFL

William
Tree, Snowflake and "Merry Christmas"

Kahli
Santa, Wreath and Angel

Aleks

Holly, Christmas Star and Reindeer with sleigh

Whilst this was being organised the kids snuggled up whilst the thunder and lightening and heavy rain was happening and also watched Home Alone - they love this movie... I still don't understand how the parents can leave and not notice a child as annoying as Macaulay Culkin was missing LOL but I guess it's what the script writers said hey ;)

Hope everyone else is having a great introduction to summer (albeit wet) and starting to feel come Christmas Spirit!!!

December Daily

I wasn't sure if to put this here or in my scrappy blog... So will type here as blog entries and tabs in my craft blog... Hmmm yeah I think that's how it'sll work ;)

Anyways I'm going to attempt to do a December daily album for my kids to look back on and see how our new family traditions are being and were built. I'm going to be very technical here (NOT!) and say that it's from another website that this idea comes from and is lead by, but I've failed miserably with being prepared so will be working kinda backwards - as in journalling and putting memories in here to alter scrap into my album (which should already have been made grrr to me being sooo orgamanised of late - NOT hahaha

Sooooo

December 1...

We did the traditional setting up of the Christmas tree. Domenik has started his own tradition of demolishing said Christmas tree LOL He thinks the shiny baubles are 'ball' 'ball' LOL So he pulls them off and bowls them down the hallway as if he were 10 pin bowling LOL. As much as it's naughty and we chastise him it is very funny to hear him yell "ball" at the top of his lungs and then hear the rattle of a plastic bauble roll down on the tiles or floorboards.

This year we have had to change to all plastic/less breakable decorations due to the possibility of Dom turning them all into balls - coupled with tile floors ;) Maybe in a few years I can get my pretty glass ornaments out again... all in due time ;)

Now for some piccies!!!!

Domenik

William

Kahli

Aleks

Have I done the right thing??

It's the eternal worry of being a parent.. Always asking what you done the right thing, was that the right decision, are we going to scar our children for life for different things... anyways tonight I ask myself ahve I done the right things regarding Kahi...

My head says yes...

My heart says yes...

but mummy guilt kicks in to override the fact I know it's right to tell me that maybe, just maybe there was more I could do...

I received a return phone call from my childrens school. It didn't end the best to put it mildly. The round up is that no matter what happens in the classroom the suspicion is always going to fall onto Kahli's shoulders. Apparently that's the correct assumption. Because Kahli uses generalisations such as "everyone is teasing me" "everyone is bullying me" then she's exaggerating and it is doubtful that the bullying is really happening - well that's my read on the situation... if a child has come to a teacher time after time after time saying she's being bullied and the teacher has doubt because of said childs wording... hmm well that's how it was put to me, and nothing I can say can change this opinion until they see proof - I mean, I've given names and my boys (who would love nothing more than to get their sister into trouble and wont lie to back her) even say they've seen it - but that's not proof enough **sigh**

Kahli did the wrong thing this morning - no disputing that. She found $10 on the side of the road and picked it up and kept it. She went to the school front office and asked them to change it into 2 $5 notes. Not once did they ask her about the money... Even after me telling the school my children are not to have money at school - EVER!!

Apparently Kahli gave one of the $5 to another student at school. Then changed her mind and asked for it back. Here is where the story gets a bit muddy.... you see I was told at the initial phone call that Kahli had given another child $5 and that was it... Then come the second phone call this evening I was told that this other child was accused of stealing the $5 from Kahli - now my concern is that throughout the conversations with the school I've caught them embellishing and outright lying a few times... I have to wonder if this child was accused of stealing from Kahli why this wasn't mentioned in the first phone call - also I've questioned Kahli over and over about this fact - different questions, different tactics and she consistently says she didn't say this child stole from her, just that she wanted the money back so she could pay a 'debt' with another child.... I know Kahli can be an eloquent story weaver at the best of times, but I can't shake this feeling she's telling me the truth - if that's guilt from not believing her earlier I can't be certain....

So I received original phone call advising me that my daughter has stolen money. I get told that she has lied about it to the school. At one point I get told she said to the front office that it was her money - It didn't sound like Kahli so I questioned that point, the principal retracted the statement saying no she didn't say that but the assumption was there that as she handed over the monmey it was hers.... Anyways I was lead to believe she maliciously took this money from another person which was not the case - the whole dilemma with the school now is that Kahli simply kept the $10....

So, I wonder why this big hullabaloo... I know it's not right she shoud have handed it it, but seriously would they have handed it in if they found it out on the road??? Not saying it's right - what I AM saying though is why didn't they sit down with Kahli and simply say "Kahli, if you find money you must hand it in to the office, you don't keep it" Simple - no fuss, no accusations, nothing negative!!! But no, that didn't happen at all!!!

Instead I have a principal on the phone DEFENDING the fact that they called Kahli a liar, DEFENDING the fact they are staying she is a thief, DEFENDING the fact that she said what the assumption could they jump to with the circumstances presented to them, DEFENDING the fact that anything that happens in the class and Kahli will be brought under suspicion - all because my daughter was "brave" in the principals words to admit to being bad and taking a few things at times because she was jealous - she knows that was wrong, she has admitted that and has accepted punishment and returned the items that she has here to their rightful owners (even if minus a pen lid!!!)

As a result of their unapologetic, accusational, and harsh stance I've made the decision to pull Kahli out of the class for the rest of the year. Apparently Kahli was to have a meeting with a support worker at the school today - she was excited to start painting on a canvas and start talking to her... instead she came home being told that the worker was too busy to see her - I tell ya, what kind of message is that sending to a child in distress?!?!?!?!

Anyways, I'm looking into my options for next year. There are several open - right down to home schooling (which is looking really positive at the moment)... I've been advised from the school that any issues Kahli has will follow me from one school to the next and it's not teaching her to responsible and social to pull her out from the class - I'm sorry, but my daughter deserves to be treated better than a criminal and to have some faith in her.... Also she will be marked absent so I'l counteract that with a visit to the Doc for a med cert citing mental health and get her into a counselor or phsych who is removed from the situation and start getting her self esteem and whatever demons dealt with - I can get her in via our health fund so hopefully can get something happening before the end of the year to help my little girl...

In amongst all this negativity from the school there is a little 11 year old girl crying out for help... I hate the fact they reckon that their treatment of her is their support of her... I'm sorry, but with that kind of support I'm glad I'm not in the educations system any more!!!!

So yes, mummy guilt has been kicking in.. I'm not so much worrying about my decisions.. it's the guilt of trusting the school and putting Kahli back into the situation where she was let down by those in authority. I feel guilty about telling her to go speak to her teacher about being bullied and leaving at that, I feel guilty about trusting that I would be contacted if anything was happening in the school.. I feel guilty for trusting the wrong people with the care and support of my daughter. Most of all I feel guilty that this has been going on for 6 months - 6 long months and I've not known about it... 6 months of telling her to speak to her teacher and trusting them too much... I should have done something - I don't know what without being communicated with, but I should have known... surely I should have known.... I think if only we had been able to get onto this earlier, if only the school had told me Kahli wasn;t happy, there were signs of issues etc etc.. they had it in writing from her in a 'worry box' that things weren't right but the teacher said they were only little thing - yes little thigns soon add up to big things and wouldn;t it be a sign to any logical adult that lots of little things should be looked into as to why they are appearing!?!??! I feel so guilty about putting Kahli in the situation where she was in the care of someone who was unable to see the forest for the trees, someone who even now wont acknowledge that they made a mistake - even though they now say they misjudged Kahli today they wont apologise or admit they did anything wrong!!!! It makes me sick that I put my daughter in their care, and even when I had doubt I did it again....

I swear, that with my last breath I will always be there for my kids - I wont allow them to be lost in the system and if that means pulling them out of the system then so be it!!! Their needs are paramount!!!!!

So Frustrated!!!!

with the school my kids are currently attending. I can't really put too much here because apparently kids in my children's classes like to google names and comment to my kids about things in this blog (which is absolutely disgusting that they can be on computers with no supervision and that can be allowed!!!)

Anyways I mentioned here before that Kahli's had issues at school with bullies etc etc. It mostly stems back to when she was in grade 2 and a senior teacher (who was also her class teacher) told her that she deserved to be bullied because she had called a long term bully a bad name... I can pinpoint from that day that her character and self esteem fell through the floor and I've been dealing with a child who has lost faith in authority figures at school, she has been buying friends and has other social issues.

Anyways we had issues at this new school earlier this year when a girl moved to this school and started bullying Kahli. I had a few conversations with her teacher and the counselor who told me that we would have open communication and that the matter was being dealt with and if anything further was to arise I would be notified. Said counselor also had conversations to me about possible aspergers/autism investigations that could be initiated (only to be told now that this can't be done within the school...)

Roll on last week... I get a call from the teacher saying there are issues in the school again with my daughter. It's all revolving around bullying etc again.. and apparently has been going on for some time... I can't believe that my daughter has been so down she's been dissolving into tears at school and I've not been notified!!! I'm really mad that this teacher seems to take it upon herself to be making decisions such as what to do with my daughter in these situations and not letting me in on the whole thing!!! I had NO IDEA this was happening!!! Kahli was coming home, telling me school was fine... aside from a few times when she said she'd been bullied to which i told her she had to speak to her teacher - assuming if it was a real case of bullying that the teacher would notify me... And on top of that there has been a change in school counselor (apparently it was mentioned in a school notice) so anything that was said with the previous counselor was hearsay as it seems nothing was handed over. I've never spoken to this new counselor even though apparently she has been working my daughter!!!!

I feel so bad about putting y daughter into a situation where she was telling someone in authority that she was being bullied and I feel that the follow up on this was less than acceptable. At least in the communication back to us - I thought she was exaggerating or making it up as I heard nothing - to find out that your daughter has been in tears on numerous times over more than a 10 week period is soul shattering... to know I put my faith in the teachers to deal with this top have this faith spat on, chewed up and trampled on.....

Anyways, after a less than cordial phone call last week I called a meeting with the school counselor, teacher and the principal... Said meeting left me feeling rather hollow... I feel we were heard but it call came back to up having to put faith back in the teacher and staff to communicate with us. Not a good feeling at all when they've already breached that faith! On top of that to have myself questioned as to why they've "not seen hide nor hair" of me in Kahli's classroom to supervise if she was having issues (that I knew nothing about because they didn't communicate) was just insult to injury - and the teacher refused to apologise for that statement...

So roll on to the afternoon of the meeting, we discover that some things had gone missing in the classroom... Kahli owned up to taking some things and admitted she had an issue with stealing - great that she stood up and said this... but I have to ask myself was she saying that because she thought it was the thing to say or does she really believe that... Kahli has got a strong tendency to give answers to what she thinks is the right thing to say at the time, no necessarily what she is thinking or feeling... So she does a scout around her room and returns what she can find was taken.. Now today I get a letter saying there are some more things she needs to recover - one of them being a pen lid!! I mean WTF!?!?!?! (sorry, I don't swear but I'm really stumped, confused, frustrated and bordering on angry with this)

Oh and as for today - why am I so frustrated?? Well remember how we needed to have faith in the communication improving at the school... well I got a phone call this afternoon saying that Kahli was caught with money. I've told the school that my children do not go to school with money, they do not have access to school lunches etc mostly for allergy risks... Anyway the principal calls me to say Kahli was caught with $10, that she had gone to the front office to have changed into 2 x $5 notes... and she gave one of the $5 to a girl in the school. I was questioned as to if she had taken the money from home, I had no idea if Nathan had taken money from the bank this morning so couldn't be certain. Anyways I get told that Kahli insists that she found it on the way to school. I dropped her off at school so that sounded a bit dodge. The principal thinks she is lying because her story has changed a few times - from her not telling the front office she found it to her telling the principal (or could have been teacher) that she told the front office she found it and they told her to keep it....

The call was left with the conclusion Kahli has possible stolen the money from home or somewhere else. I was left with the strong feeling that the school believed she had stolen it as I was told I needed to talk to Kahli and discuss the stealing of money with her. Which I did the minute I picked her up from school. She insisted she found it on the road, I said she had to be lying as I dropped her off at school. After the conversation with the principal it was the only conclusion possible that the money had been stolen... enter William. William and Kahli ran into school together - I sat in the car and watched then run around the school gym until I could see them no more... Williams answer to my question had me concerned. He said she found it as well. He said she saw her pick the $10 up...

I based my judgment on the situation on previous experience with Kahli taking stuff and what the principal said and told them they must both be lying to me now... I was going to take privileges off them both and told them how disappointed I was with them... All the time both proclaiming their innocence....

We get home, I ask Kahli for her homework diary as I know she hasn't been handing it to me and apparently there was a note in it from her teacher for a few days ago... Imagine my absolute horror when I read the teacher has written in it under todays date stating

"the front office staff have led me to believe that Kahli did find the $10. It was probably lost by a JP student......"

I can't believe that this was not made knowing to me in a phone call prior to the end of the school day!!! I am shattered that I've chastised not only Kahli but also William who was totally innocent over the situation. I'm shattered that they have put me in a situation again where I was not kept in the loop and notified of the discoveries that they had made - considering I'd been left being told to discuss with Nathan when he came home from work tonight as to if he had money missing from his wallet!!!!

And before anyone jump to the defense of the teacher saying that she was teaching a class and not able to leave to tell me this over the phone - she had been to the front office to discuss this as she stated in the same letter that the issue was now that Kahli hadn't told staff that the money was found.. not hers - confirmed by office staff - someone SHOULD have notified me to this!!!!

I feel my faith and trust has been trampled all over again... it might not have been by much, but it was enough that I've now chastised my children when it wasn't necessary...

I feel that Kahli deserves an apology over the accusations that she stole the money.

I feel that no matter what she does now Kahli is going to be pegged for everything - I mean she was telling the truth, she was not believed so now their complaint is that she didn't tell them she found the money - I know she should have, I'm not saying she's innocent, I just feel that no matter what now that they're going to find something she's done wrong within a situation....

I have made one decision - that is that I am going to get her a counselor/psych outside of the school to talk to... Someone who is impartial, someone who can see my daughter with fresh eyes and work on what is happening, not allow things that have happened to school and personal clashes get in the way...

I'm going to do my best to protect my daughter and ensure she is mentally healthy and can move on from these accusations and if she has got a problem to get help with that... Because I for one have absolutely NO faith in this schools processes and this teacher any longer....

My, My, My....

We were sitting in our bubble of contentedness, believing all was right with the world only to find out that behind the scenes things were happening that we had not been advised of...

This is all to do with a school issue, let's just say that I'm not a happy mumma bear at the moment....

I'm no pushover and will fight to be a voice for my children come hell or high water!!!!

Want to take me on?? Well be warned - I fight to the end, I stand up for what is right and if you want to make accusations you'd want to be pretty sure with your evidence or it'll be ripped to shreds!!!!

Mumma bears have claws - and I' not afraid to use them or my growl!!!!!

As a parent our most important role is to be our childrens voice... When they can't speak for themselves we do the talking for them... We shield them from dangers, educate and nurture... My children will grow up knowing that their mumma always had their back - right or wrong they had support and love all the way... NO ONE steps on my babies and gets away with it!!!!!

Post It Note Tuesday: New Beginnings

I'm not ignoring this blog....

Just trying to get better!!! I've had a lovely (NOT) cold that has traveled all over my upper respiratory tract - and labeled a virus so it's been a case of suffer, rest and get over it... AKA "toughen up princess" ;)

I've a bit to update here.. I really need to do an update on Dommy especially - things are a moving and shaking there... and he's growing up **sob** I'm hoping to be back up and ready and rearing to go early this week :) Here's hoping!!!

The Chipmunk Effect

I think most people have suffered from this at one time in their life. It's the puffy cheek syndrome that happens when you've been blowing up balloons for too long; or when you've been blowing up balloons by mouth that should have been blows up by pump. My case today is from the latter...

Yesterday afternoon Dommy came running to me saying "b'loo, b'loo" (interpretation - "balloon, balloon") Domenik loves anything round that can be thrown, kicked, hit, slobbered on or just anytghing round ROFL He's a true boy and Ball has to be one of his favourite words!! I'm expecting him to turn to me one day when down the street and a guy walks past with a shiny round head and him to point to said shiny head and yell "ball" - just to embarrass his mummy of course ROFL

Anyhoos, he brings me these pieces of rubber - they were left overs from Kahli's party. So what's wrong with that I can hear you ask - why would blowing up 1-2 balloons leave me with Chipmunk Syndrome? Simply because they are the ones that are designed to be formed into shapes!!! These pieces of rubber are just long strips of torture if you don't have a pump to blow them up with!!! I couldn't get them blown up - I tried, I blew, I stretched, I puffed - I even tried to hide them and replace with normal balloons (which hide in my wardrobe for such emergencies) but Dommy wasn't fooled - he wanted these long skinny rubber torture things come hell or high water!!!

nope, I couldn't even get this far for him!!!

I think I spent close to 30 minutes working on these things before he spotted something else that took his attention - yep it was a ball!!! Augh!!! I really felt it last night in my cheeks... Everytime I smiles I really felt like wincing "ouch"! I felt my cheeks had done a full on workout just by bowing up balloons!!! As my friend Vicki said, if they worked on the whole body we would do it all the time, but nopes, they worked only my cheek muscles :(

And still this morning I have that "cheeks stuffed with cotton wool" feeling. I walk past a mirror and have a quick glance and expect to see huge puffy round balls sticking out the side of my face, but nope, they still look normal - but boy they don't feel it!!! It's kinda like a numb feeling that when you smile turns into a red hot burning sensation augh! So whilst you're there smiling and laughing at my chipmunk syndrome know that I'm here, not able to crack a smile even at myself - but tomorrow - that's another day... I'll be scouring everyone's blogs looking for stuff to laugh at because from previous experiences my chipmunk syndrome should be healed by then... well, that's until Dommy finds another balloon like these!!! I'll never learn and can't resist his huge pleading brown eyes - such a sucker!! LOL

C'mon, who can resist this tear stained,
dirt encrusted gorgeous little face.....

Post It Note Tuesday: Rambling...

Welcome to my second attempt at Post It Note Tuesday!!!!

I'm not Looking Forward to November...

I'm posting this now because I hope that I can handle myself and control my emotions so I don't have too bad a month.

November was meant to be a month full of new joy for us. It's the month that our latest angel was due... Our baby was due on the 22nd of November 2010. With previous losses I've not been that crash hot come to due date... I really hope I can hold myself together this year...

It only struck me this morning that tomorrow will be November... I should be complaining about aching back and joints, braxton hicks, swelling hands and feet.. but instead I sit and snuggle my earth children and wonder what this baby would have been like, if it was a boy or a girl, what colour eyes he/she would have had, hair, smell etc etc....

I can't allow myself to dwell too much though, I don't want to get down and struggle to come up for air again.

I guess it hasn't helped finding out a friends grandson was born with wings last Friday - unexpectedly. He was too small and precious for this earth :( I wonder how I would cope if our babies were that bit bigger that we could hug them and kiss them and see them.... they weren't 'simply' miscarriages...

Anyways, if I go nutso this month please forgive me. If I get too down - well I need to be allowed to be down a little but if you see me get too down please kick my backside and remind me what i have on earth already :)

November should be a good month for us, but I know there will be a little sadness and a few tears... I really hope I keep an handle on my emotions etc....

Ahhhh Peace and Quiet....

I'm exhausted - happy exhausted though :) Kahli had a birthday sleep over last night, her best friend Abby came and spent the night and most of the day today :) They had a blast - typical girly sleepover - 3am **gasp** pillow fight and all!!!! William also had some friends from the street stay over, and Aleks had a school sleep over so we lost one of ours but gained 3 others LOL

Soooooo I'm ready to drop after a night of hardly any sleep in amongst the whispers, giggles, boy/girl germ comments and pillow fights...

Happy exhausted because all the kids are settling. Aleks came home from camp talking about his new friends he made and **sigh** everything is just feeling so right at the moment!!!!

happy happy happy :)

so with that I'm off to bed... sleep is calling me, although it wont be for a sleep in as apparently the $2 league bowling is back up and running and my bowling family can't resist a bargain such as that **sigh** LOL

Happy Birthday Squirt xxx

Well my baby girl turns 11 in 3 hours... Wow time really does fly.... I guess she's not a baby anymore, she's not even really a little girl, she's fast becoming a young lady - now that's scary!!!

I can remember vividly what I was doing at age 11, so I assume she will to... to think that things we do today could be the things she caries with her for the rest of her life, kinda makes those daily things even more important...

Anyways, I hope to get a post in here tomorrow for my special girl, but just in case needed to wish her a happy birthday for tomorrow... Kahli has put in her order for her birthday tea and has asked for my lamb burgers for dinner - that's so nice, it's my own recipe and she said it's her favourite :) Oh and she want's cheesecake, I need to remember to get it done in the morning so it's ready for dinner - if anyone knows of a good quick cheesecake recipe please share!!!

So for now, Kahli, my gorgeous little spitfire, I hope you have a lovely birthday and it's everything you want, You're such a special little lady and I want you to start believing in yourself and turn into the magnificent woman you have the potential to become. Love you always Squirt xxxx

uh-oh...

I've been told that apparently my blog post yesterday was a little harsh... Well, maybe... I mean I do have a terminal case of verbal diarrhoea when I let my thoughts ramble and I just type away... LOL

Anyhoos, I don't want to really make this blog about my old friendship - I mean we had good times, we had a lot of down times and it was what I thought was a good friendship, until someone changed her mind and became influenced by others around her and started talking out of school. She chose to change to a point where she was using profane language to my mother and telling my mum to f*** off... Now, I'm sorry but in my book that is something that is borderline forgivable but not forgettable, and there is no way I could associate with anyone who has not only spoken to me like that but also my mother

On top of that saying one thing to a persons face and another behind their back was starting to gripe on me, everything added up - so yes, we had what I believed to be a good and close friendship, but the minute I wasn't able to live in her pocket day in and day out her attention turned elsewhere and everything we supposedly had was rubbished, abused and pushed aside - and excuses came flooding forth as to why this was all happening - in an attempt to push the blame back onto me. I can't go forward with a friendship like that... That is why I was so happy and relieved when I was shown these photo's that I felt nothing. I knew that I had moved on. I am ready to continue my life with this friendship being a part of my past. It and she is not a part of my future and I accept that and am happy with that.

I don't want to come across as a nasty pasty who has celebrated wiping someone out of their life for nothing - believe me I'm not like that. I know that if you're my friend I'll hold onto you as tightly as possible and it takes a lot for me to loosen that grip on you (be warned mwahahaha) but start to turn on me and my loyalty will be questioned... Be abusive towards my family and you're gone - especially when they've done nothing but drop everything to be by your side and support you, babysit for you, shelter you, stop you from doing stupid things when wanting to end your life, answer your tearful calls at midnight after your ex abused you and run to your side at all hours - yes that was not only me but also my mum and this was the thanks we received... Sorry but do that and I know that you're not the right sort of person to be in my life... THAT is what yesterdays post was all about.

Sorry for not being too clear, I'm not nasty, just a human being who is moving forward with her life :)

Onwards and Upwards - I soooo am loving that saying hahaha BTW remember my mantra - "You don't always get answers for what happens - because sometimes the answers were not for you, they were lessons for someone else..." I really do think that was the case here... I can only hope that what happened the answer was for me to be there to help her get through this stage in her life, now it's time for me to move on and start with my own life - it's the least I can do for myself and my family :)

And She's Been Doing it Again...

...writing posts to blog here in my head and getting things out of my system that way and not actually blogging them - I guess that's healthy and still healing in a way... but no good if I want to look back in years to come to see how I got through things, my through processes etc... Oh well... probably less dribble for others to read through LOL

Anyhoos, things are going really great here. I wake up with a silly contented smile on my face that rarely leaves - it's soooo good to be happy!!! I didn't realise how much I had let other people influence me and bring me down!!! I mean in my head I knew things had to change, but it wasn't going to happen without a shove - and once that shove happened and we were away from those influences - wow!! the lightness, relief and lack of stress is AMAZING!!! I feel young again, I feel there's a spring in my step and I feel I have positive things to look forward to for the long term future - not just worrying about the rest of the day/week etc - long term as in years down the track - I can see a positive FUTURE :) That's all good.. that's the way life should be!!!

A big thing happened this week. I was sent a link to some pics online of a person I had considered a friend. I didn't really want to see them but I was told to have a peek - to see for myself how I felt and to see how some things had changed back in Tas... Well... I opened them and you know what - I didn't feel anything. I had thought I'd feel sad or guilty about leaving and getting on with my life - but nopes... Nothing like that at all!!! In fact I felt sorry for her. I also felt happy that I was not in the influence that this person was experiencing in the photo's and knew that her lifestyle and choices were not where I wanted to be or even want to be headed... I felt happy that this person was no longer in my life - and you know what... it's really made me see that this was the right thing for us :) I am so so SO happy to have left my past behind me and am moving onto bigger and better things, living my life for myself not to make sure others get through the day and not being held back and in the company of people I would not want to be like, linked to or associated in any way with - it probably makes no sense to anyone reading this, but it does to me and I really needed to get that out - especially the fact that I could close those pics and walk away and know for certain this is right for me, us and everyone around me :)

I also realised it's been AGES since I've posted any pics of my gorgeous kids :) Today I completed another scrapbooking cyber crop for SBT50 and had to race to get some pics of my kids pulling faces for the final challenge - so here they are, in all their shaggy, face-pulling morning glory - just remember these pics were taken for a purpose - it's not their normal faces ROFL

Aleksandir - yes that's meant to be a funny face LOL

Kahli - no idea how she can cross her eyes on demand like that!!!

William - need I say any more, typical Wil!!!

Domenik - this is the closest I could get to him pulling a
face on demand - not bad for a 2 year old ;)

There's more pics and scrappy LO's on my crafty blog - My Crafty Retreat