Wednesday, November 24, 2010

So Frustrated!!!!

with the school my kids are currently attending. I can't really put too much here because apparently kids in my children's classes like to google names and comment to my kids about things in this blog (which is absolutely disgusting that they can be on computers with no supervision and that can be allowed!!!)

Anyways I mentioned here before that Kahli's had issues at school with bullies etc etc. It mostly stems back to when she was in grade 2 and a senior teacher (who was also her class teacher) told her that she deserved to be bullied because she had called a long term bully a bad name... I can pinpoint from that day that her character and self esteem fell through the floor and I've been dealing with a child who has lost faith in authority figures at school, she has been buying friends and has other social issues.

Anyways we had issues at this new school earlier this year when a girl moved to this school and started bullying Kahli. I had a few conversations with her teacher and the counselor who told me that we would have open communication and that the matter was being dealt with and if anything further was to arise I would be notified. Said counselor also had conversations to me about possible aspergers/autism investigations that could be initiated (only to be told now that this can't be done within the school...)

Roll on last week... I get a call from the teacher saying there are issues in the school again with my daughter. It's all revolving around bullying etc again.. and apparently has been going on for some time... I can't believe that my daughter has been so down she's been dissolving into tears at school and I've not been notified!!! I'm really mad that this teacher seems to take it upon herself to be making decisions such as what to do with my daughter in these situations and not letting me in on the whole thing!!! I had NO IDEA this was happening!!! Kahli was coming home, telling me school was fine... aside from a few times when she said she'd been bullied to which i told her she had to speak to her teacher - assuming if it was a real case of bullying that the teacher would notify me... And on top of that there has been a change in school counselor (apparently it was mentioned in a school notice) so anything that was said with the previous counselor was hearsay as it seems nothing was handed over. I've never spoken to this new counselor even though apparently she has been working my daughter!!!!

I feel so bad about putting y daughter into a situation where she was telling someone in authority that she was being bullied and I feel that the follow up on this was less than acceptable. At least in the communication back to us - I thought she was exaggerating or making it up as I heard nothing - to find out that your daughter has been in tears on numerous times over more than a 10 week period is soul shattering... to know I put my faith in the teachers to deal with this top have this faith spat on, chewed up and trampled on.....

Anyways, after a less than cordial phone call last week I called a meeting with the school counselor, teacher and the principal... Said meeting left me feeling rather hollow... I feel we were heard but it call came back to up having to put faith back in the teacher and staff to communicate with us. Not a good feeling at all when they've already breached that faith! On top of that to have myself questioned as to why they've "not seen hide nor hair" of me in Kahli's classroom to supervise if she was having issues (that I knew nothing about because they didn't communicate) was just insult to injury - and the teacher refused to apologise for that statement...

So roll on to the afternoon of the meeting, we discover that some things had gone missing in the classroom... Kahli owned up to taking some things and admitted she had an issue with stealing - great that she stood up and said this... but I have to ask myself was she saying that because she thought it was the thing to say or does she really believe that... Kahli has got a strong tendency to give answers to what she thinks is the right thing to say at the time, no necessarily what she is thinking or feeling... So she does a scout around her room and returns what she can find was taken.. Now today I get a letter saying there are some more things she needs to recover - one of them being a pen lid!! I mean WTF!?!?!?! (sorry, I don't swear but I'm really stumped, confused, frustrated and bordering on angry with this)

Oh and as for today - why am I so frustrated?? Well remember how we needed to have faith in the communication improving at the school... well I got a phone call this afternoon saying that Kahli was caught with money. I've told the school that my children do not go to school with money, they do not have access to school lunches etc mostly for allergy risks... Anyway the principal calls me to say Kahli was caught with $10, that she had gone to the front office to have changed into 2 x $5 notes... and she gave one of the $5 to a girl in the school. I was questioned as to if she had taken the money from home, I had no idea if Nathan had taken money from the bank this morning so couldn't be certain. Anyways I get told that Kahli insists that she found it on the way to school. I dropped her off at school so that sounded a bit dodge. The principal thinks she is lying because her story has changed a few times - from her not telling the front office she found it to her telling the principal (or could have been teacher) that she told the front office she found it and they told her to keep it....

The call was left with the conclusion Kahli has possible stolen the money from home or somewhere else. I was left with the strong feeling that the school believed she had stolen it as I was told I needed to talk to Kahli and discuss the stealing of money with her. Which I did the minute I picked her up from school. She insisted she found it on the road, I said she had to be lying as I dropped her off at school. After the conversation with the principal it was the only conclusion possible that the money had been stolen... enter William. William and Kahli ran into school together - I sat in the car and watched then run around the school gym until I could see them no more... Williams answer to my question had me concerned. He said she found it as well. He said she saw her pick the $10 up...

I based my judgment on the situation on previous experience with Kahli taking stuff and what the principal said and told them they must both be lying to me now... I was going to take privileges off them both and told them how disappointed I was with them... All the time both proclaiming their innocence....

We get home, I ask Kahli for her homework diary as I know she hasn't been handing it to me and apparently there was a note in it from her teacher for a few days ago... Imagine my absolute horror when I read the teacher has written in it under todays date stating
"the front office staff have led me to believe that Kahli did find the $10. It was probably lost by a JP student......"
I can't believe that this was not made knowing to me in a phone call prior to the end of the school day!!! I am shattered that I've chastised not only Kahli but also William who was totally innocent over the situation. I'm shattered that they have put me in a situation again where I was not kept in the loop and notified of the discoveries that they had made - considering I'd been left being told to discuss with Nathan when he came home from work tonight as to if he had money missing from his wallet!!!!

And before anyone jump to the defense of the teacher saying that she was teaching a class and not able to leave to tell me this over the phone - she had been to the front office to discuss this as she stated in the same letter that the issue was now that Kahli hadn't told staff that the money was found.. not hers - confirmed by office staff - someone SHOULD have notified me to this!!!!

I feel my faith and trust has been trampled all over again... it might not have been by much, but it was enough that I've now chastised my children when it wasn't necessary...

I feel that Kahli deserves an apology over the accusations that she stole the money.

I feel that no matter what she does now Kahli is going to be pegged for everything - I mean she was telling the truth, she was not believed so now their complaint is that she didn't tell them she found the money - I know she should have, I'm not saying she's innocent, I just feel that no matter what now that they're going to find something she's done wrong within a situation....

I have made one decision - that is that I am going to get her a counselor/psych outside of the school to talk to... Someone who is impartial, someone who can see my daughter with fresh eyes and work on what is happening, not allow things that have happened to school and personal clashes get in the way...

I'm going to do my best to protect my daughter and ensure she is mentally healthy and can move on from these accusations and if she has got a problem to get help with that... Because I for one have absolutely NO faith in this schools processes and this teacher any longer....
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