I Really Can't Believe It!!!

Domenik's about to turn 2 years old!!!! I know a lot of time has passed, and I feel that time has passed slowly - but at the same time I also feel it's passed ultra quickly as well....

I know that doesn't make sense, but when we sit back and look at how far our little family has come these past 2 years, the evolutions that has happened within us, the way we've stepped out on our own, overcome sooooo much and are still moving forward - that whole process isn't something that happens overnight, so on that aspect, yes time has traveled quite slowly... we've been on a long hard, slow journey...

But then I remember little Dommy entering our lives, I remember his first smile, his first roll over, his little cheeky bubbyness... Time has flown so quickly for us to get here with him.... It's like only yesterday he was born... Only yesterday how I marveled at his baby blue eyes turning hazel and then rich chocolate brown... Only yesterday that he was a little baby - and now we stand here with a cheeky little toddler in tow (who incidentally loves to see himself in the mirror and said "hello" to his own reflection in a shop today as I wheeled him past a huge mirror display!!!)

Yes Dommy - you're busted!!!
Stealing sugar from the sugar container (eating from a fork mind you!!!)

Time sure has flown... and I know I'll be saying this again in 12 months time and then in 6 years time and again in 16 years time... I know it's the same for all parents... no matter how difficult a time their kids give them, how many heart stopping moments they give us... I know that no matter how much we want to stop the clock and make things spin that little more slower we can't.. We just treasure each and every moment with our babies as they grow up... and remember back to when they were sweet little babies and know that we were honoured to have been blessed with this little being to shape and mold as one of our own.

They all Bowl....

except me **sob** Dommy had his first real bowl last night... He' been itching to get out and bowl with the older kids for so long... He knows the bowling alley - he looks for the big pin ever time we go down commercial street and are near Elizabeth street - oh he knows where it all is!!!

So last night, David (the centre owner) gave into his pleading, big brown eyes that were begging to be released and allowed out to experience the thrill of hitting pins with a big bad-ass ball (however in his case it was a fluorescent orange 5lb ball LOL)

Oh where has my baby boy gone to?? I don't know, but he's growing up soooo quickly and is now officially a bowler as well... do I (as someone who has only bowled once in her life!!!) feel like the odd one out or what?!?!?! LOL

**please excuse the quality of these pics,
I had to use my phone's camera - I wasn't
expecting such a momentous (lol)
occasion to occur!!!**

Dom's first ever bowl... hmmm a little far away from the line doncha think?!?!


hmmmm, that's a better place to start!!!


Wahoo - pins down (at last - the ball was a 5lber and took AGES to get to the pins!!!)
Hi-5's all around!!!

The 'F' Word!!!

I have a silly smile on my face this morning... And happiness bubbling up - all is coming right with the world :) Aleks has FINALLY started using the 'F' word!!! I'm sooooo happy that he is settling and feeling comfortable to use it at long last :)

It's taken a lot of frustration , tears, tantrums (on my part mostly LOL) a few meltdowns and a lot of questions as to why... But we got there in the end.

Oh I know that he had it in him. I knew that the 'F' word would come out of his mouth soon - I could see it coming closer to the tip of his tongue each and every day - especially if I would question and push him - I could see it, but there was also a little glimmer of fear in his eyes and I knew that few and self consciousness was holding him back... But since he's said it once - Wowsers!!! It's always in his vocabulary now - there's no stopping him!!!

And since he's been using the 'F' word the change in him is astronomical!!! You can see him walk down the street and puff his chest out - he's really finding his stride - just because of this little word!!! He' grown almost 2cm too - it's from starting to stand up straight and tall and be proud of who he is and confident that this word is going to be with him for life - and it's a very powerful word!!!

But it's not just us who has helped make this change - it's an older boy at school that Aleks has hooked up with. This boy seems quite lovely. He's been collecting Aleks before school and after school so they walk to school practicing their vocabulary - he is the reason that the 'F' word is being used so much around here :) He's one grade higher than Aleks but seems to have really taken him under his wing - he's polite and caring - he even played peek-a-boo with Dommy around the front door this morning when he picked Aleks up for their walk to school!!!

I really do love using the 'F' word, and am so pleased that my kids are using it too - especially Aleks!!! It's taken some time, some perseverance, but I think he's on the right track at long last ;)

After all where would we all be if it wasn't for this 'F' word...

FRIEND

xxx

Married, Single Other....

I've just watched tonights episode of this show... I'm shocked with the emotion it stirred within me. I probably shouldn't be shocked...

It was such a sad, happy, poignant, uplifting, thought provoking episode tonight. I wont go into details (just in case anyone from WA may read this and it wont yet have aired.)

Something in me knew how it was going to end. I just knew it... Even so I couldn't take my eyes off the TV screen...

What would I do if I was told I'd have less than 6 months to live? I honestly don't know... I'd be devastated - not for me, but for my family I was leaving behind. I'd try to cram as much loving and living in that I could. I'd make sure that all my memories were written down or recorded for my children to have ready access to. There wouldn't be a way that they would forget their mother and how much she loved them.

I'd have to write down all routines, recipes etc for Nathan. I'd make a famiy instruction manual for him... and in it would me little messages that I would hope would make him smile and keep him going.. Let him know what a wonderful job he was doing and what a great father he is - and just how much potential he has in life...

All my children would have a scrapbook made for them - with similar messages. In there I would let them know what dreams I have for them. How I know that they are strong little individuals, and as much as that can cause their parents grief when we butt heads it makes me proud that they have the strength to stand up for what they believe in - even if it is just to play on the playstation each and every day!!! That being said, I think little Dommy's would be the hardest to write - knowing that he will grow up with his mum being just another face in a photograph... That would be a tough thing to do - really tough!!!

I'm blessed thought that with the illnesses I have and have had, none of them are terminal - so **touch wood** I wont have to do such a thing...

What this show has really opened my eyes to is that you really do need to live in the now - you need to take each day as it comes and live it to it's fullest - if that's as simple as baking cookies for the kids (like we did today) then so be it - it's these little things that crate memories... You wont die regretting not mopping the floor that morning, or not making that last work meeting - you'd die regretting spending those little times with your children and family showing them you loved them...

I want my family to know just what they mean to me... I want all my memories, thoughts and dreams to be something special to treasure - this is why I scrapbook. But besides that it is a way I can tell my story. This blog is similar - it's an electronic diary, and a way I can tell my story to others etc... This is another way I can scrapbook - albeit with not as many photo's and a few more rambling thoughts... But if anything were to happen to me I'd want my children to come here and take comfort that they were never far from my thoughts, they were one of the ultimate reasons we took the opportunity to move to the mainland and spread our wings... they are the reason that we live and breathe... they are my life... They are my here and now, they are my future.... I swear my children will grow up knowing what they mean to me... they will grow up knowing where they came from, they will grow up knowing that no matter what happens they are important individuals and can do just about anything - they will know how proud I am of them and that I will always be here for them - if not in body (although I pray this wont happen for many many decades to come!!) but that I will always be with them with the scrapping I do, the writing I do and in the photographs I take of them.. each one of them holds a little bit of me, and they just need to turn a page and my love will be there for them to hold on to... no matter how far apart we are....

Back to Basics...

the journey has begun!!!! Yeps, I'm going to say it out loud.... My aim is to have this family back to basics again and being as self sufficient as possible within the next 6 months. That means making maximum use of our veggie garden, fruit trees and getting back to real food and cleaning etc... At the moment I know we do a decent job using environmentally friendly and allergy friendly products, but here we have a house that makes it possible to be even more back to basics than using orange oil products etc....

Soooooo.... where do we begin - it's simple - baby steps!!!

Today we brought a bread oven - a HUGE expensive one (NOT) $29.95 from kmart - minus our 5% staff discount of course hahaha. Anyways, I brought some leuke bread mix - the one we were recommended previously when we were doing the whole elimination diet thing... So we're finally getting back to baking our own bread and reducing preservatives and chemicals in the kids diets there. This Saturday there's a scrapbook crop and one of the lovely ladies attending bakes her own bread very successfully from scratch and she is graciously going to let me in on the know how so we can go even further back to basics and get back to real old fashioned bread and different variations - looks like I'll be in the market for a bread loaf tin, but that's not neccessary to start with ;)

What else are we doing - well the veggie garden of course.. But with an over-productive lemon tree in the yard I want to start looking into using the fruit off this tree as a cleaner in the house. I know bi-carb and vinegar are great, but I'm pretty certain that I've seen where you can substitute the vinegar for lemons - a bit more research there, but hopefully we'll be moving away from store brought chemicals and sparkling up this house naturally ;)

We already use cloth nappies (MCN) for Domenik - hopefully this summer he'll be toilet training so we can reduce day nappies all being well (as cute as they are **sob**) but even with nappies I wash using Earths Choice, but I plan on moving back to soap nuts. Seriously, these little brown bits of nuts are great for washing - even better in the powdered form!!! We've still got some here in the back of a cupboard hiding (for some reason) I really should dig them out and put them back to work...

I've always been a 'green' girl at heart. I love the environment and want our home to be as safe as possible for my kids. With Domenik breaking out with red cheeks and dermatitis and then Williams long fought battle against allergies and anaphylaxis I want to make everything as safe and healthy for them as possible. If making a few changes helps them then I'll be as happy as a pig in mud - if it doesn't reduce these reactions then so-be-it.. at least we've made a change that will have benefits for the environment as well as for us in a fiscal manner ;) After all the back pocket needs looking after as well ;)

BTW - I'm not going to be anal about any changes - if it doesn't work then we'll go back to what is working for us now... I wont force my ideas onto anyone - everyone does what works for them, far be it from me to tell you what you should be doing - this is my plan... By putting it in writing I feel I need to be somewhat accountable and make action on the plan - otherwise it's simply another idea in my head that may not come to fruition - this way it may have a chance of working out ;)

Whoops

it's been a while since I've posted here - shocking eh ;) Well... I can say that Operation Veggie Garden has well and truly commenced. I've got piccies too - I'll upload and update this evening all going well :) What else have I been up to?? Creating gorgeous works of art - that's what ;) I'm Guest Design Team member for the Scrapbooking Top 50 cyber crop for September, so I've been doing a couple of crafty bits an pieces there. It's all uploaded in my CRAFTY BLOG. Go check it out - I dare ya Mwahahhaaha

As for home front - all's going well at the moment. kids are their usual selves - trying, loving, fighting, annoying, exasperating... nothing new hahahhaa I'm LOVING spring here in the Mount, temp has hit the 16-17*C mark - something I'm not used to in September, I hope the hot weather doesn't arrive too soon!!! I'm kinda scared to think we'll be experiencing regular temps above 30*C, but it's something we're to get used to... especially as signs are looking good for Nathan to get permanency here **yaay** but that's not confirmed, just looking good ;)

Lots of good stuff happening at the moment (hey I believe in Karma - looks like it's coming around to us at long last!!!) Nathan's decided that I need the office more than he does - so I now have a dedicated CRAFT ROOM!!!!! I was hesitant at first to take it because I thought it might encroach on my sneaking scrapping time - you know where you're watching kids or dinner etc and just slide on over to the table to re-arrange (ummm complete from woe to go) a little LO.... yeah well, I guess time will tell - it's nice though to be able to leave stuff out and not have to worry about little fingers touching, or cats jumping and un-settling etc.... my little safe haven I guess ;) I'm loving it at the moment... time will tell if it will stay a love/love situation or not ;)

Oh yes - dad got the all clear from his last visit to the oncologist (I think that's who he saw today) There is no sign of the cancer **yay**!!!! He has 3 monthly visits and checks for a while and beside the general advice of living a healthy lifestyle he wont need any more treatment :) Biiiig sigh of relief there!!!

Hmmm that's pretty much an update at the moment.... I'm in the middle of organising myself for Domeniks 2nd birthday which is raching towards us with supersonic speed!!! I ask you - "where has the last 2 years gone"???? Seriously, time really has flown and I can't believe my baby boy is about to turn 2!!!! I think that is when homesickness will hit - celebrating his birthday (and Kahli's whose is 3 weeks after Dom's) and not having my family there.... It's going to be different - but we are learning to stand on our own two feet and this is something that will be done and will become familiar to us as well. It also marks 6 months (give or take a day or 3) of us arriving in South Australia!!! Sheesh, hasn't that time flown too!!!! So we're combining his birthday with a "statewarming" of sorts. We're going to have a BBQ at home, with all our new friends and generally celebrate this new phase of our lives and that our baby has completed his second full year on earth - and how much he has grown and learned and enriched our lives :) So Oct 3rd - be warned Mount Gambier - major parties happening at our house!!! the entertainment area is to be christened Bricknell style and lots of food, drink, Tassie culture (hahaha) and merriment to be had!!!!

and with that good note I'll sign off for now... off to start planning a menu fit for a king ;)

Spring has Sprung!!!!

And it's time to turn the weed patch behind the water tank into a glorious veggie garden!!! Well first it's to work out how to remove the knee high stinging nettles from the garden beds first - any ideas?!?!?! I'm thinking long sleeved shirts, gloves and boots with hard manual labour could be the most likely outcome...

Anyhoos, I'm currently working on a list of what I want to plant. I know it'll be mostly heirloom veggies so I will be able to harvest the seeds for next years crops - and I want unusual things, like purple carrots, black tomatoes and brown capsicum - things that will make the kids want to get out there and join in the fun :)

I honestly love gardening, and am feeling sooo free now that I'm not running after anyone apart from my family that I can actually get back to the things I love and spend time on us - that probably doesn't make sense, but the last few years I feel I've been running after other people or working so haven't had quality time as a family to work on us - and the shackles are released so this free feeling I have is just so umm.. I think liberating is the right word!!

Anyways I digress again LOL I'm looking at some tomatoes, I'm thinking at least one red, yellow, green and black of regular size and cherry varieties, and similar for capsicum. Lots of different varieties of carrots and lettuce... ummm squash, cucumber, zucchini and beans too... then I'll rotate into winter crops when the seasons start to cool off - Now it's a case of working out what varieties grow best here in SA. I know what grows well in Tassie - but the whether here's just a tad (read a whole LOT!) different here LOL Oh and I'm thinking it would be great if we can grow melons here - We're going to be inundated with fruit as it is with our mini orchard (cherry, apple, apricot, peach, nectarine, orange, plum and a couple of unknown fruiting trees as well as our over-productive lemon tree) but some melons would be a great addition - oh and strawberries too!!!!

Oh and on top of that I've added something else to my "wishlist" of gifts - I want to start preserving again. With all these fruit trees and hopefully a generous veggie garden we're going to be inundated with fresh produce (well that's the dream LOL) so an electric preserver kit would be a god send - it'll mean we will have canned fruit and tomatoes from our garden well into winter and help a lot with budgeting and making things last :) I don't think that's asking too much ;) I've yet to spring this one on Nathan - I wonder if I can convince him it'll be a worth while birthday present... hmmmm

So yes, spring has sprung - even the wind here is warm!!! Something I'm not accustomed to unless it's the middle of summer!!! So I'm planning for a bounteous few seasons ahead and looking forward to a wonderful time ahead for us - yes it's just a veggie garden, but it's been years since I've had a proper veggie garden, let alone the time to spend in it!!! I can't wait to get my hands into the warm earth and feel the sun on my face :)

Yeps - I can feel my old self coming back.. I feel myself coming alive and finding me again :) It's a great feeling to finally wake up and out of the darkness!!!!

They're Gonna be TV Stars!!!!

well ad stars at least LOL. Last week the kids came home from bowling extra excited. David from Gambier Bowl had asked them to feature in his commercial that was to be shot on the following Monday.

Soooo yesterday after school I dressed them semi-good... They weren't to be in their Sunday best - but gosh was it hard to resist that!!! LOL and sent them off all excited :)

I didn't see them back in the door until after 8.30pm (mostly because Nathan bowled in place for someone in the Monday league) They came running into the house, a mess of arms, legs and gabbing mouths - they were sooooooo hyped (it could have been the junk food and fizzy drinks they were plied with) they were soooooo excited and soooooo overtired all at the same time.

Apparently they were filmed playing solo, as a family with 'fake' parents and siblings and also as a group and having a party! There were other kids and adults there as well so it wasn;t just my brats. How much of them will be in the short 30 second ad is anyone's guess - I hope that my warning will be heeded and they don't start to compare airtime or expect to be a 'star' or (my biggest dread) they expect everything filmed to be on the ad - but really, I know it wont be - they're expecting a movie length commercial to be aired I'm sure!!! Soooo come the end of September you'll be seeing my rambunctious trio on your TV screens if you live in the SE part of SA ;)

Happy Anniversary xxx

Well Nate,

13 years have now officially come and gone since we met at the other end of the aisle at the Ulverstone Gospel Hall...


13 years have some and gone with lots of laughs, smiles, tears, pain, happiness, sadness, love and support.

13 years have brought out the best in us as well at times the worst.

We've been through a lot. We've had our hearts ripped out and shredded, and then picked up and taped back together - not in the same condition or shape they were originally in - but a better shape, some of the pieces were re-arranged and will never go back to the innocent, natural shape they were - but they're even better because now parts of your heart mingle with mine, and parts of mine with yours...

We will never be divided and I think what we've been through in the last 12 months prove that now....

Even thought we've not been together the whole of this time I always felt connected to you and that we would come back together... Time is a great teacher and healer and look at us now!!!

We're branching out onto a new path together. We have 4 gorgeous and wonderful children who fill our home with happy voices (well in the most part LOL) and joy. We've lots of new adventures to be had and new lessons to learn - but I think we've braved the worst of the storms and have mostly sunny days ahead.

Together we move into our 14th year of marriage and together we can build a whole new world for us and our family, no matter where life takes us - if we're together it will be worth it. We've grown up a lot since we first got married... and we've a lot of growing ahead of us still... but remember that word - together!!!

Love you heaps and so glad to have you still by my side

xxx

Happy Fathers Day!!!

Today is a day to celebrate and remember our father figures. I know not everyone has a great dad or even a dad they know, let alone a dad they want to remember... not all dads are the best but I'm lucky enough to have a dad who does love and care for us.

Nothing is usually too much for him, the countless times we've called him out to fix things, do things for us etc etc.... It's one of the challenges we have now that we're interstate - I can't call dad if our car has a coughing fit or I need something checked on the clothes dryer etc... And to be blunt, as much as I love Nathan a handy man he is not ROFL

My dad hasn't had the best of years, but putting a positive spin on things he's come through and is still upright and now has a clean bill of health. He's been battling prostrate cancer since the end of last year and has recently had the all clear with frequent follow-ups he should be A-OK. This was a tough time for us but we're through the worst of it... He's also rebuffed some ridiculous claims from a mentally unstable girl we had at the home... we still rose above it and move forward... 2010 has been far from an easy year, but it really made us learn who were there for us, who really loved and cares for us and who will be there in the future - and my dad will be one of those always by our sides whether in person or in spirit

So this one's for you dad - Have a wonderful Fathers Day 2010 :) Sorry I didn't get my card to you before the actual date (augh this week flew too fast!!!) but you'll get it next week AP willing!!!!

image copyright to me 2009

and to all the other worthy fathers and father figures I wish you all a great fathers day as well **huggles**

Wahoo!!

I think I've passed a hurdle these past few days... Things that used to upset me, that I thought would hurt jsut aren't any more. I think I'm learning to let go and really REALLY move forward ;)

I feel so happy and content with my decisions. Happy and content that we're doing the right thing and that all will be good for the future.

I feel happy and content!!!

Yes!!

For real!!!!

I've shaken the bleakness from the last two years in particular and am moving forward....

I don't hurt, I'm not bruised anymore...

My eyes have been opened, I feel as though what I suspected to be true has been confirmed and I'm trusting myself again...

I'm happy, and I'm content... and I feel this deep down inside....

Something I've not been able to say for a long long time... I've cut off the weights that held me down, I can turn away from the nasty blackness that was clinging to me and I feel free and ready to move into the next phase of my life....

I shouldn't be suprised, I've come a long way these last few months... I think I'm surpising not only myself but also my mum in particular with my resolve and not needing to respond to things that have been said, accused etc etc...

I've finally learned that if people want to talk trash, they want to believe trash then let them. If they're gossiping to me then they're also gossiping to others, if they're lying to me they're also lying to others - and ultimately they're only hurting themselves...

I'm not doing that - Onwards and upwards... Myself and my l;ittle family - to whatever adventures life may take us to :)

Thankyou!

I'm not sure If I've thanked all my friends and people in my life at the moment or not (too lazy to look back and check so saying it again if I already had :P)

I want to say thankyou to everyone I have in my life at the moment, family friends, online and in real life, old friends and new... You are all in my life for a reason - I loves ya all :)

The most important thing you've given me is a soft place to fall and an ear to listen...

You've made me realise that I'm normal! That's a BIG thing for me!!!

I know that living in a small town/are etc isn't always all it's cracked up to be LOL and spending time around those who aren't positive tend to rub off on you... You my dear friends are positive, butt kicking kind of people and I love that...

I love that whilst I've been on this journey of finding me that you've hung around and supported me when it would be so easy to run :)

I appreciate the support and love I've had back in bucket loads - it's something I've missed when I was isolating myself from the world trying to cope with the hands that life has dealt us.

Most of all I love you all as individuals, I appreciate everything you do and love that you keep my head firmly pointed to the future - the past is something to be put behind me... the future is where I live!!!

And you my dear friends are my future!!! In real life, online, old or new, it makes no difference, genuine love and friendship can be felt from one end of the world to the other - it's such a magical thing when it's legitimate and real :)

So from the bottom of my heart - THANK YOU!!!!

A Little Bit Ironic....

Dont ya think??? Well I LOVE that song my Alanis Morrisette and I'm finding some little bits of my life seem to mirror that song...

It's amaaaazing how many people wanted to be my friend when I offered free portfolio shoots when I was looking at starting up a business when still in Tassie - and it's amazing how quickly they turned when I found out about moving to SA - in a space of a week I was getting nasty emails, letters, people dropped off my facebook page and all - they ran! It was like they were saying she's not good for freebies anymore, lets go look for the next sucker!!!

And yet through all this I still had people who would tell me that I was reading the situation wrong, that I as too cynical etc etc... Well now look who are eating their words!!! Definitely not me!!!

Just a little bit ironic - don't ya think ;)

Me? I knew the story and how it would end... I knew these people only wanted me for what I could give them for free, and nothing more... They were never there for me, they were never really my friends... That is why peoples it's wise to protect yourself - I did this protection by getting model releases from them all :) I'm all covered and they thought they were using me, but I protected myself professionally, legally as well as emotionally by not expecting more from them than that which was superficial... Always know where you stand - it's not worth the pain otherwise!!!

I know that at times I can be a real softie and a sucker, when I give my all to people I really do do that - I give my all... But in this situation I knew the cards, I knew the game and wasn't being sucked in...

The reason I raise this is in response to a conversation I had yesterday - I knew there was an individual out there who was feigning friendship to get all she could out of me... I knew the story but I kept being told by others that she was legit... Those 'others' are now well aware of this individuals workings and realise that I was right! I've found my gut instinct to be correct so many times rather than not - I've just had it confirmed yet again - so I really do need to be more confident in my gut instinct and back myself... There's a reason some of us girls have a 6th sense ;)

And the biggest irony - the person who insisted this individual was legit, the person who confirmed to me that this person was only out to get all she could from me is the person who betrayed and hurt me in the worst possible way - yeah, that's quite ironic - don't you think???

The best way to get one up on those who hurt you in the past is to live your life to the best of your ability and move onwards and upwards - that's just what I intend on and am doing :)