Is what I feel like I'm riding at the moment. Not sure if I can still blame hormones etc - but I can try eh LOL
Little Baby Sarah is coming along sooo well - she's such a miracle!! She had her first breastfeed today and gained weight and is sooo much closer to coming home, to think a few short weeks ago the doctors had all but given up any hope of her coming this far!!! words just can't describe how thrilled I am for her mum :) She's not my daughter but the pride and emotions are just overflowing at the moment - I can't wait to meet her and give her mum a huge hug in March!!!
Another positive - I have some (obviously loopy) people wanting me to take their and their kids portraits!!! Even have someone willing to let me loose at their wedding - OMG so scared about that one!!! I'll be fine on the day, started doing some research etc on wedding photography but ooooh scared that I'll stuff up, do something stupid (as only I seem to be able to do) etc etc.. Some pressure is released on that shoot though as she ha paid another friend to be the official photographer, so if I screw up big time I wont feel as bad - but it will be great experience to have my first wedding shoot with reduced pressure ;)
What else has happened to create this roller coaster feeling hmmmmmmm
Dom had a great night sleep the night before last, however the heat increased overnight and he was restless again *yawn* He's also due a growth spurt so probably just co-incidence with the weather being hot etc, but it's a convenient excuse and allows me to ignore my baby boy is growing too quickly LOL - speaking of which he's commando crawling up a storm, he'll see something and set off *sigh* no more innocence there, he's one determined little boy!!!
Ohhh yes I've made a decision I think...... unless something drastic happens between now and August I think I'm going to ask work for another 12 months unpaid maternity leave - based on Dom's allergies and reluctance for daycare centres to care for them, if it's approved all well and good, if declined I can;t see myself going back there I know it's a great job and in this time of job shortness and recession it may be a foolhardy decision if I look back in a few years, but right now I feel it's not right to leave Dom with others whilst we're discovering his journey with allergies, especially knowing that we'll be coping with at least one that is anaphylactic. My little boys life and safety can not be replaced by a few extra $$ in the pocket - if something happened I'd never EVER forgive myself for choosing work over him. In the meantime I will study a Bach of fine arts via open university. It's not the photography bach I want, but it's in the art area and will give me a basis to (in a few years) complete photography modules and have a solid basis for art choices, understanding, criticism etc. It can also springboard me into teaching art if I wish to at a later stage. Also I love just about anything arty so being able to devote 6 months at a time to different mediums and streams can only be a fun challenge and open me up to new paths and things to explore and discover :)
OK big decisions made (for the moment LOL) Oooh another one made too, I'm keeping Dom's cradle. It'll be a great prop for baby shots :) why sell it for a few $$ when I can use it to make some $$ :) (all going well) So far for kiddy props I have the cradle, a old packing box and old suitcase - it's building!! Now I'm about to put an add on freecycle for some garment stands to turn into backdrop stands.
Hmm what else happened this last few days - Augh so much!! But I don't have time to write it all - shoot that is selfish eh LOL Umm well I guess the big change in the next week will be the kids returning to school. They are going to Montello Primary - we've made another decision LOL they're changing schools and I feel so much happier for that one being made. They are even looking forward to going back!! To see their face light up when we told them that they weren't going back to Acton was remarkable! I didn't realise how much that school had been bringing them down, It was with a very heavy heart that I was thinking to send them back there, but their reactions show me we've done the right thing by them. We got all the paperwork yesterday for the switch - and OMG it sounds like a wonderful school!! the most unhealthy thing on the canteen menu for lunch is a hamburger with salad!! and the canteen is only open 2 days a week!!! Soooo different from Acton and it means the kids will have less pressure to buy buy buy just because mum and dad work (hated that we were expected to be swimming in money just because we worked Grrrrr) Today we brought their uniforms, the only thing we need to get now are shoes and we're set!! So roll on Next Tuesday we've 3 brats ready to hit the school books with a vengeance - I can;t wait to see their hunger for study and school return - Acton drowned that fire in all three of them ever so slowly until we thought we were just dreaming that it was ever there - but it's coming back, the spark has re-ignited and I hope will burn brightly at this new school :)
Okies, enough rambling, I've got a whole load of nappies to hang out before bed and a photo of the day to take - camera hasn't been out of the bag yet today - have to rectify that ;)
Little Baby Sarah is coming along sooo well - she's such a miracle!! She had her first breastfeed today and gained weight and is sooo much closer to coming home, to think a few short weeks ago the doctors had all but given up any hope of her coming this far!!! words just can't describe how thrilled I am for her mum :) She's not my daughter but the pride and emotions are just overflowing at the moment - I can't wait to meet her and give her mum a huge hug in March!!!
Another positive - I have some (obviously loopy) people wanting me to take their and their kids portraits!!! Even have someone willing to let me loose at their wedding - OMG so scared about that one!!! I'll be fine on the day, started doing some research etc on wedding photography but ooooh scared that I'll stuff up, do something stupid (as only I seem to be able to do) etc etc.. Some pressure is released on that shoot though as she ha paid another friend to be the official photographer, so if I screw up big time I wont feel as bad - but it will be great experience to have my first wedding shoot with reduced pressure ;)
What else has happened to create this roller coaster feeling hmmmmmmm
Dom had a great night sleep the night before last, however the heat increased overnight and he was restless again *yawn* He's also due a growth spurt so probably just co-incidence with the weather being hot etc, but it's a convenient excuse and allows me to ignore my baby boy is growing too quickly LOL - speaking of which he's commando crawling up a storm, he'll see something and set off *sigh* no more innocence there, he's one determined little boy!!!
Ohhh yes I've made a decision I think...... unless something drastic happens between now and August I think I'm going to ask work for another 12 months unpaid maternity leave - based on Dom's allergies and reluctance for daycare centres to care for them, if it's approved all well and good, if declined I can;t see myself going back there I know it's a great job and in this time of job shortness and recession it may be a foolhardy decision if I look back in a few years, but right now I feel it's not right to leave Dom with others whilst we're discovering his journey with allergies, especially knowing that we'll be coping with at least one that is anaphylactic. My little boys life and safety can not be replaced by a few extra $$ in the pocket - if something happened I'd never EVER forgive myself for choosing work over him. In the meantime I will study a Bach of fine arts via open university. It's not the photography bach I want, but it's in the art area and will give me a basis to (in a few years) complete photography modules and have a solid basis for art choices, understanding, criticism etc. It can also springboard me into teaching art if I wish to at a later stage. Also I love just about anything arty so being able to devote 6 months at a time to different mediums and streams can only be a fun challenge and open me up to new paths and things to explore and discover :)
OK big decisions made (for the moment LOL) Oooh another one made too, I'm keeping Dom's cradle. It'll be a great prop for baby shots :) why sell it for a few $$ when I can use it to make some $$ :) (all going well) So far for kiddy props I have the cradle, a old packing box and old suitcase - it's building!! Now I'm about to put an add on freecycle for some garment stands to turn into backdrop stands.
Hmm what else happened this last few days - Augh so much!! But I don't have time to write it all - shoot that is selfish eh LOL Umm well I guess the big change in the next week will be the kids returning to school. They are going to Montello Primary - we've made another decision LOL they're changing schools and I feel so much happier for that one being made. They are even looking forward to going back!! To see their face light up when we told them that they weren't going back to Acton was remarkable! I didn't realise how much that school had been bringing them down, It was with a very heavy heart that I was thinking to send them back there, but their reactions show me we've done the right thing by them. We got all the paperwork yesterday for the switch - and OMG it sounds like a wonderful school!! the most unhealthy thing on the canteen menu for lunch is a hamburger with salad!! and the canteen is only open 2 days a week!!! Soooo different from Acton and it means the kids will have less pressure to buy buy buy just because mum and dad work (hated that we were expected to be swimming in money just because we worked Grrrrr) Today we brought their uniforms, the only thing we need to get now are shoes and we're set!! So roll on Next Tuesday we've 3 brats ready to hit the school books with a vengeance - I can;t wait to see their hunger for study and school return - Acton drowned that fire in all three of them ever so slowly until we thought we were just dreaming that it was ever there - but it's coming back, the spark has re-ignited and I hope will burn brightly at this new school :)
Okies, enough rambling, I've got a whole load of nappies to hang out before bed and a photo of the day to take - camera hasn't been out of the bag yet today - have to rectify that ;)
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