Life goes on....

The numbness is slowly ebbing away I think - only think.... I haven't got angry at what has happened as yet - waiting or it but it either isn't coming or not here yet. A times I feel like I need to sit and cry everything out but it wont come...

The contents insurance will cover items that we lost in the car, however nothing that was fixed such as CD player, car seat etc... I've lost some of Dom's favourite nappies - his CGR's are my biggest loss, at $45 a set it's also an expensive loss *sob* I'm also down some itti bitti D'lish and Bubblebubs. Hoping that the insurance will cover them, I don't think a claim for nappies is something they would normal see LOL. We lost both our boys remote control cars that they got for Christmas - the shop we purchased them from will allow up to re-purchase at the same price when the insurance comes through which is great - considering there has been a price rise!! There were some other things in there that all add up to around $5.5k - the list doesn't look that big, but things sure do add up - just sunglasses alone are around the $600 mark!!! It makes me wonder if we need to re-look at the contents insurance and up it a little for the house... The insurance assessor is coming our Monday to discuss everything with me and let me know what is covered, what isn't, what needs proof of purchase etc - hopefully it wont be too drawn out a process as we'll be in WA in 3 weeks time, I'd like it to be concluded by then!!!!

We had another scare with Dom this morning. Nathan was here waiting for the assessor to ring and he made some toast but didn't wash his hands after spreading it - it seems the utter on his hands caused an allergic reaction in Dom :( He first came up in just a couple of welts, I thought yeah it's nothing major, but in the space of a few minutes he was COVERED!!! He even had tiny welts on his little toes!!! Dom didn't seem to mind too much, he became grisly and a bit rattly in his chest but it was almost all gone within an hour and a half by the time the emergency room doctor got the chance to cal out his name. (what a long wait in an empty ER!!!) He now has a residual eczema type rash on his back, tummy and legs. I'm hoping he doesn't itch and scratch too much. Because of his age there isn't much we can do except if it happens again take him back to the ER. We can't give anything like claratyne until he is at least 6 months old which is really restrictive - with Williams reactions like this a dose of claratyne cleared it before it got too bad - hence the race to the ER if it ever happens again.

Due to the reaction I've gone around the Dr referral system which seems to be taking ages to get appointments for him (no one has apparently heard of children of this age having such acute reactions *sigh* old stomping ground again) and gone straight to Dr Smith (was Taylor) at Rose Cottage Medical in Launceston and have an appointment for testing on April 2nd. We're also on a stand by list if there's a cancellation - hoping there's a cancellation before we head to WA **fingers crossed**

Guess that's got me pretty much up to date so far. Things are muddling along, life continues and things happen. roll with the punches and hope that nothing too scary jumps out at us again I guess...

What a Waste!!!!

Well I did ask if one more thing would tip me over the edge, but I didn't expect it to actually happen!!!!

Today we took om to Hobart to see the paed surgeon. We were up at 3.45am to be ready and leave by 5am. It was dark and cool - so cool that the heater was required in the car!! We were treated to the most spectacular sunrise when passing through Deloraine and all the way past Longford - it was simply stunning!!!! At 8.30am we hit Bridgewater thinking we'd make the appointment in plenty of rime - only to find out we were in the middle of peak hour traffic LOL It took an hour to travel from Bridgewater to Hobart city - something that the reas estate assured us would take no more than 10 minutes when we were looking at moving to Hobart when Wil was a baby - hmm think that 10 mins was a slight exaggeration hehehe.

We made the appointment on time with a screaming Dom The plan was to arrive in Hobart with 30-45 min left to change Dom and feed him ready to see the Dr. We didn't have time for that so raced to the appt and made it on time, dressed and fed Dom in the waiting room - if anyone was offended then tough LOL He needed feeding!! Sorry a bit sensitive about those who's sensitivities are upset by the sight of a mother feeding their baby....

OK - the appointment - The paed hadn't real the referral letter - he had no idea why we were even there!!!! To top things off he tells us that he wont consider phimosis a reason for circ under the age of 2 years - he believes it can correct itself *sigh* At the appointment he told us that he believes Dom will be ok and not need the op and that his nappies are the reason for his infections - I kinda saw red LOL and advised that he has not had any nappy rash, swelling, redness etc since using cloth nappies, the only rash he's ever had was the allergic reaction to disposies. He backtracked to that and said there may be an internal issue causing the infections. Anyways we walked out of there kinda feeling weird - We were told that basically Dom shouldn't have been referred until he was 2 years old so we wasted our money and time to go to Hobart - the Dr's up here should have known that information - soooooo annoyed!! Oh and the steroid treatment was not necessary to put him through either apparently grrr... Will be having a word to the kids GP tomorrow when discussing their allergies to see if he believes we should maybe consider having him privately circed when we're in Melbourne in a few weeks time.

So we drive back home, I had to take over driving at Deloraine because Nathan was falling asleep at the wheel LOL. Get back to Devonport, pick the older brats up and get home around 10pm.

We turn the corner into our street and our little blue hatchback is missing I thought it was weird, but it was feasible that the council may have towed it as it was if they wanted to be nasty illegally parked (there's no parking areas for this house so we squeeze the cars as close to the curb as possible and away from the corner as possible - so far no issues) So I send Nathan into the house to check for notices to say it was towed whilst I get the sleeping kids from the car... He didn't come back to the car so I went to investigate to find him on the phone reporting the car as stolen. There were no notices from the council - nothing :(

The police were to come out straight away to take a statement so we start unpacking the car as we'd stayed at my parents the night before due to the early trip to Hobart. About 5 minutes later I get a call on the home phone - someone asking for me. It was the police. They asked if I knew where my vehicle was.. I said well well just reported it stolen - and asked did they know where it was. I was praying that it wasn't involved in an accident where someone was hurt etc. The coms guy confirmed he did and I asked was it in an accident etc He told me they found it down south. To which I said that we'd just been in hobart today!!! Then he tells me that I'm not going to like what he has to tell me - it was set alight in broadbeach. My little mazda is gone!!!

Anyways about 10 mins later a female officer came to take my statement. During this time she received notification from coms that the car was gutted and nothing was recoverable.

I'm just so numb - it hasn't sunk in yet. It probably will tomorrow when I go out and she isn't there. Now I have no form of alternate transport for Nathan to use with the kids etc - I'm back to one car and being restricted!!

What bugs me is that i can't remember what was in there!! I think my good CD player was - I know one of the boys remote control cars was - they are $400 a pop!!! As was their fishing rods... Aleks eMusicians uniform, umm Ive no idea what else!!! Possibly some of Dom's good MCN (nappies) which are around $35 each!!! I just can't remember what was in there!! Soooo frustrating!!!

So right now I'm sitting here typing this out - desperate to feel something but nothing comes. I want to cry and vent but I don't feel anything. It's probably normal to feel like this after a shock that I've just had, I don't know - there's surely some rationale for it... just wish that my life would go smoothly for a change....

BTW The older kids are all upset - they're sleeping together in Aleks bed, too scared to turn the light out. They asked if the police found our car and when I said yes when we would be getting it back. The poor things were so distressed when I told them we wouldn't that the bad people set it on fire that I felt so awful for telling them the truth - I hope I did the right thing.... What does one tell their children about something like this?!?!?

I really need to try and get some sleep, wonder if there's any chance of that now....

So what a waste of our time going to Hobart, our fuel going to Hobart, my beautiful car that was such a symbol of independence for me (when Nathan and I separated he took the car and I purchased this one myself - it was mine and showed me I could make it alone by myself and provide for my children etc) was wasted in flames, what a waste in general of when promised to be such a great day to start with - it's ended in such a wasteful way.....

Just another day....

And I'm packing for Dom's big trip tomorrow to see the paediatric surgeon. Hopefully he'll agree to circumcise for his phimosis and we can stop worrying about UTI's!!! Our appointment is at 9.30am so we'll be staying at mums over night and leaving at 5am *yawn* I just pray it's going to be worth the trip - I've started to doubt myself a little again with crappy doctors etc - It's strange, I know in my head what is going on, what should be done etc etc etc - but the minute we come against any for of resistance such as a dodgy doctor who is patronising my resolve crumbles. At times it's as though I have no backbone - which I know is incorrect.

It makes me wonder, and I tired do I really have such little self confidence that someone's not thought out comments are enough to erode my own beliefs?? And for that matter am I depressed again but just putting on a good front - so good that I've been fooling myself again??

To be honest some things at the moment I could just sit and cry over - but I wont let myself cry - it's a sign of weakness - stiff upper lip and all that.... I just feel so close to the edge at the moment, edgy, jumpy, nervous, almost teary... if one more thing goes wrong I feel it could tip me over - but does that mean that there is something wrong or am I normal??? I'm certainly not ready to return to work and deal with other peoples problems at the moment!!


Anyways I'd better get back to packing and working out what we need to take before I get too introspective and blue ;)


BTW Discovered I am responsible for 'pest control' at this place so need to get the house fumigated myself *sob* quotes so far around the $200 - $250 mark!!!! Then I have to fumigate again when I move in 7 or so weeks!! Not sure if I can afford that so might have to put up With the bloody ants :(

Something to smile at ...

~ Domenik 22-02-09 ~

Augh Ants!!!!

I'm soo over them!! The damn creepy things don't usually bother me, but inside this house they're in plague numbers and I'm just over it!!

We've tried bombs, and sand, ant rid, ant traps, powder, bleaching, eucalyptus oil - everything possible except a professional fumigator (as we're not here for much longer and the house needs to be fumigated before we leave due to pets so why pay twice in 8 weeks) and they're still getting in!!!

I'm not exaggerating when i say they're climbing over each other to get in, they've cracked through paint in between the internal weatherboards to get in, they come in behind the aluminium splash-back in the kitchen, they come through the door, through cracks in window and under the carpet!!! The bombs, sand etc don't work as they come up from under the house!!! I just don't know what to do anymore.

They've only become a problem since the owner of the house did a core soil sample thingy right near the house - it's stirred up a nest :( The dashed things are meat eaters - any scrap of anything protein left around they're into it - especially if it happens to be a bone!!! I've never seen anything like it!!! They came after me, I would wake with ants on me trying to get to any leaking milk!!!

But the straw that broke this camels back, wasn't them crawling over me and being woken to have little black things crawling on my face, it was having to kill over a dozen that decided Dom was an easy target last night!!! My poor baby is now a target for them!!! They're in his bed, crawling over him etc - what makes it even worse is the bloody things are biters - I can kinda handle them at me - but when they start on my kids - especially my poor little baby that's another thing - especially since I have 2 kids with allergies, the last thing I need is for them to be bitten during the night an have a bad reaction!!!

So tomorrow I HAVE to ring the real estate - something needs to be done. We've found a great house close by that would be perfect for us but the owner of this house doesn't want me to end my lease 5 weeks early - so instead he will need to make this place habitable. The water pipes need fixing - at the moment they are rusting and the rust flakes are in the water - so bad that the water filter I'm renting needs to be changed weekly - instead of bi-monthly!!! The water pressure is crap - It takes an hour to run a bath, I can't run the washing machine and shower at the same time - I can't run the tap and the washing machine at the same time!!! The hot water cylinder keeps tripping the fuse and it's leaking a little into the water catching thingy underneath of it umm what else, there's something else but my brain is addled - just so over it all *sigh* This is a GORGEOUS house and the real estate are great, but I can't do this any more, especially with the owner not giving me any grace in looking for another property for my and the tribe... I don't want to be asking or this stuff to be done out of spite, it's just I can't look past the ants and water situation in particular any longer. Just to prove what they're like I've taken pics - because I know if I think back in a few years time I don't want to think that I'm exaggerating... They really ARE this bad!!!!



The above photo's were taken in the morning of Feb 14, 2009, this is the site we awoke to. The even before the sink and walls were all bleach cleaned. The ants were trying to get to the water splashes in the sink - the whole sink was black!!!

I'm paying top dollar in this area for this house and we can't even drink the water from the tap - this is meant to be a civilised society we live in and drinking water should be available if someone is renting out their property!!!

Okies, enough of a rant from me right now.. I need sleep, and to try and relax My back has been playing up today (probably not helping me with patience in the area of the ants etc) and I'm tired from not being able to get too comfortable last night... I did do some positive things though today, made some lactation cookies for Lee and took William and the crew to the cinema to see Bolt for his birthday treat - I've changed the usual "birthday tea" treat to a family treat where they can choose from birthday tea, trip to the movies or trip bowling.... Wil chose the movies :) I think he enjoyed himself - everyone loved the movie - even Dom sat up and watched it :)

Okies, sleep beckons....

Niiight!!!

I'm Scared...

OK, I admit it, I'm scared, no make that terrified to start Dom on solids. He's starting to show signs he's ready and wanting, but he's recently had a borderline anaphylactic reaction (facial swelling, welts, diarrhoea and minor closing of airways - enough to cause cough) to peanuts via breastmilk and I'm terrified of starting the allergy journey again.

I've done the whole elimination thingy to death and was just breathing a sigh of relief after William started being able to eat more "normally" and it terrifies me that Dom is going to be as bad as his brother (who had multiple food protein intolerances as well as multiple allergies and anaphylaxis)

Dom is no where near as bad as his brother with intolerances etc, but *sigh* I'm just so scared of what is ahead... I'm waiting to have allergy testing done for Dom. waiting, waiting, waiting...... But then I'm afraid of the results on that too - I sound like a huge whimp!! LOL

Just beating myself up after going 4 months with no sign of an allergy, not even a rash then one drumstick with a couple of peanut granules on top and he ended up in hospital with his poor face all swollen :( Wil never reacted that quickly - I guess that is where my fear comes from....

I know I've done this weaning thing before, but with Dom it just seems different, we knew we had issues with Wil from day one with his constant rashes etc, but the severity of his reaction via breastmilk was a fraction of Dom's - I guess it's the severity of his reaction that has scared me....

I know what foods to start, to hold off and get a close to 6 months as possible I know all that in my head, but my heart is screaming that it's not fair and that my baby shouldn't have to go through this. Knowing what we went through before and how hard the struggle was..

It really sucks that our kids have such a wonderful world to live in but their lives will be restricted for such a long time whist their allergies are being investigated and discovered... We couldn't leave the house it seemed with William due to his airborne anaphylaxis - I hope and pray things don't get that bad with Dom - life cant be that cruel can it?!??!

Oficially totally slack!!!

And still no time for a decent post, Had a horror day with Dom, he wouldn't settle and screamed and screamed this morning, only slept for 15 min intervals again - poor guy I couldn't settle or calm him :( I made a Dr appointment for him which was a waste of time - apparently children who are 4 months and over need to be supplemented with formula (wtf!!!) and I'm not experienced enough a mum with 4 kids, I was questioned about whether he is getting enough food (well he not dehydrated, is growing and has wet and dirty nappies - one even at the drs!!) whether I was burping him after feeding, was I doing this doing that - oh and how did I think of doing a urine sample (read his notes dr!!! Grrrrrr) oh so patronising!! Augh I could just scream!!! He had some nurofen about 3 hours before the Dr visit and his temp was still 37.5*C!!! apparently it's not considered a temp with this Dr until it hits 38*C!!!

Anyways he's sleeping soundly now, took a few times to get him settled, he'd fall asleep then wake as though in pain. His urine sample was clear at the moment however as the Dr did say (one bit of intelligence I guess) something could be brewing and not yet showing... so he's under monitoring, temps 3 times a day and symptoms monitored *sigh* what fun!!! Thank goodness he's seeing the surgeon this Tuesday, then we can rule out UTI's for the future!!!

Wil had a run in with Dr's today too - he fell from the flying fox in the playground and we thought he had broken his arm just above the elbow!! X-Rays show it's a sprain, but he's in considerable pain the poor mite... Nurofen and cold packs for him!!

Anyways better run, I need sleep - have been feeling quite tired of late, think everything has been building up and I need to slow it down and start taking things a bit easier - bit more realistic with the kids back at school *yay*

Not totally slack...

Well, maybe just a little.

had a few days with no computer, then Dom's been rather demanding, kids started back to school, rental inspection, william's 8th birthday and now covering school books - all that added together equals a very busy me!!!

will try to get some time tomorrow to put a decent post in - however word of warning will be visiting Lee and looking at a possible new rental tomorrow so time could be at a premium then too... we'll see what happens ;)