Saturday, February 27, 2010

Boring ol' Me...

I'm boring... I don't know how to break out of my rut. I've not many friends in real life (oh there's hundreds of acquaintances on facebook etc) and am pretty much a loner (well besides having a large family etc) I'm really boring and obviously socially inept at times from the lack of social invitations I have LOL (or is that my family scaring people off??)

Anyhoo... I've got to try and get out more... Not sure how, but I guess Domenik starting playgroup is one way - that's one day out of the house for well.. Dom LOL I suppose there is a little bit of social contact for me there too...

I returned to work to get out socially... but then I don't think the people I met at work would class me as something other than "boring" either. I'm great at my job but for going out with adter work seems to be another thing... Not many invites to go out - unless it was a blanket one for everyone and then I was the one standing at the back wishing the wall would open up and swallow me because no one would converse with me - besides the obligatory "how are you", "glad works finished for the day" kind of thing.

I did have one friend IRL with work and World of Warcraft as a common denominator. She fell pregnant not long after I found out I was expecting Domenik, but since she went back to work I've not heard from her. We went movie-ing with our newborns and did family BBQ's etc with her husband and my family - but literally since she went back to work I've heard nada - I've sent texts etc.. but nothing. I guess she outgrew me... It's that darn rut I'm in I'm sure!!!

Even my best friend now, her husband really hates me (jealous of our friendship) and he doesn't like my "lifestyle" (we're low income kind of thing he's not) so contact with her is limited to some degree. I wont allow my children with him so some of that is by my making, but there's legit reasons behind that. I guess I'm feeling restricted a little there too....

I feel kinda boxed in - is that the way to put it though??

Claustrophobic with myself???

So... I need to try and make myself less boring - how does one do that??? How do I make myself someone they want as a friend and to have around?? Is that even possible????

First thing first though, I've a couple of photo shoots I need to process and get back to clients, then I'll have a bit more time to explore being me and making me more "inviting" I guess the word is ;)
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