Another Decision Made....

I'm going to start portfolio building. Apparently my photography work is different to what is being offered at the moment, which means people may just want it - well that's the word from some professionals around here!!!

So at the moment I've put a post on my facebook asking if anyone wants pics to yell - there's been a decent response which is kind of daunting now, I hope I don't disappoint anyone now... I oput pressure on myself, I know that - but without pressure performance isn't the best - isn't that right?? Don't you need pressure to perform at your best?? Or do I fool myself into that - anyways... I have to work out times and what I'm doing with the next few weekend and see if I can get some local shoots done whilst the weather is good :)

I don't know, I'm still reeling a bit from the negative feedback from last week.. but I've also had a lot of supportive emails and messages from friends and strangers telling me to keep at it and keep going... So I guess I'll jump on this train and see where the ride takes me :)

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Off to revive Katami Photography ;)

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Australia Day Piccies

Happy Australia Day!!!!

from...

William

Kahli

Aleksandir

Happy Australia Day!!

It's truly great to be an Aussie :) It's something I'm very proud to be - I relish knowing we are free and my children will grow up having choices, freedom and relative peace that are not available in so many other parts of the world!!!

Aussie Aussie Aussie....

Love it!!!

The reality is....

I don't know why I even entertained the thought that I might be able to turn my passion into a profession/job - I think I just had my bubble popped....


I posted on a forum that I've been approached by some friends to do some photo's for payment for them and asking when do you know when it is the right time to start floating the idea and moving forward with turning your hobby into a business... Well I have been told (by another professional photographer on that forum) that my photo's are lacking in composition, their processing and exposure is hit and miss - oh and to keep working at it.. it might work one day...

I didn;t once state that I was a professional photographer or am at that stage, Just how do you know when and how to start and get the courage to express an interest to build a portfolio etc... I don';t know, I mean maybe if this was sent to be privately I might have been reacting a bit different, but to have this said in a public forum kinda stings... I wasn't asking this person to critique my images...and what's with her stating that and not following up on what she means lacking in composition etc etc... Actually I may have the wording a bit skewed... I'm probably over reacting.. Ive been told I've been overreacting a bit of late - sorry but stress tends to do that to a person... And no, I wasn't posting for pats on the back etc.. for honest opinions about when and why etc.... I didn't expect to be critiqued in public!!!

Anyhoos - needed to get that vent off my chest....

Maybe I will never realise my dream of being a photographer.. maybe all I'm good for is snap shots and dreaming... I don't know... Maybe I need a tougher skin too...

The Makings of a Mother

I really want to make this into a sequence of images one day... I love it - even though I'm not catholic nor do I believe in patron saints etc etc...

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Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressures, and a couple by habit.

This year, nearly 100,000 women will become mothers of disabled children. Did you ever wonder how these women were chosen?

Somehow I visualise God hovering over Earth, selecting his instruments for propagation, with great care and deliberation. As He observes, He instructs his angels to take notes in a giant ledger.
"Armstrong, Beth, son. Patron saint...Cecilia."

"Rutledge, Carrie, twins. Patron saint...give her Gerard. He's used to profanity."

Finally, He passes a name to an angel and smiles. "Give her a child with a disabilty."

The angel is curious. "Why this one God? She's so happy."

"Exactly. Could I give a child with a disability a mother who doesn't know laughter? That would be cruel."

"But does she have patience?" asks the angel.

"I don't want her to have too much patience or she'll drown in a sea of self pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wear off, she'll handle it."

"I watched her today, she has that sense of self and independence so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give her has his own world. She has to make him live in her world, and that's not going to be easy."

"But Lord, I don't think she believes in you."

God smiles. "No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just enough selfishness."

The angel gasps. "Selfishness, is that a virtue?"

God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she'll never survive. Yes she is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn't realise it yet but she is to be envied."

"She will never take for granted a spoken word. She will never consider a step ordinary. When her child says 'Mummy' for the first time, she will be witness to a miracle and know it. When she describes a tree or sunset to her child, she will see it as few people see my creations."

"I will permit her to see clearly the things I see...ignorance, cruelty, prejudice... and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life because she is doing my work as surely as she is there by my side."

"And what about her patron saint?" asks the angel, his pen poised mid air.

God smiles. "A mirror will suffice."

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Every Cloud has a Silver Lining.....

Well so they say. I'm trying to hand onto my silver lining for Domeniks feet. He has had funny shaped feet ever since he was born and I've constantly raised with with his GP and the paed and the child health nurse only to be told thing will fix themselves when he gets older and then the last few months it's been they will come right when he starts walking...

The opposite has occurred. His feet are getting worse. Last week I lost patience and went for a 4th opinion about them and the GP I saw sent a referral immediately to an orthopedic surgeon and physio dept. She suspects he has club feet and internal tibial torsion. My aunt who was a midwife and now a high level nurse agrees that it's not right and we're leaning more towards a diagnosis of Metatarsus Adductus. Either way he is in need of treatment and it should not have been ignored by the medico's for this long.. Now he is walking and his bones are setting we're running out of time to treat his condition passively :(

Anyways this morning I've been on the phone to the hospital most of the day. We can't see the orthopedic dept or a surgeon for quite a while so we're being seen by the physiotherapy dept first and looking at casting his feet and legs to see if we can avoid invasive procedures.

I was actually getting used to the idea of not seeing anyone for a few months after speaking to the orthopedic dept when the physio rand - I feel like today's been a yo yo... One minute we get no treatment except to cope, then within an hour we've got x-rays and castings etc being ordered!!!

This is probably really disjointed... I feel disjointed - I feel really on edge, I can't settle to do anything and feel like I need to be doing something... I don't know why this feeling of panic has settled in to be honest... Well really I probably do, My little boy has just learned he is independent. He can crawl anywhere he wants or walk where he wants (besides constantly tripping) and we are now going to force his feet and ankles into positions they have never been into, putting him in long leg casts in the middle of summer - all that is going to cause discomfort, pain and take away his ability to be an independent little person....

I hate knowing that the first couple of weeks of this treatment his muscles are going to ache and protest, he will fight the casts and be sore and uncomfortable - not to mention his frustrations!!!

His knees will be bent at an angle that he should be able to walk in some fashion in still - but he wont be able to pull himself up and it will take a while for him to learn to walk from his hips only.... I guess my heart is breaking knowing this should not be happening now, this should have happened 12 months ago!!!

So much for me being just a hypochondriac mother - my little boy is going to have 6-8 weeks of hell thanks to the Dr's blase attitudes... that's if the casts work - there could be surgery yet where he may need tendons cut and loosened and bones broken and re-set...

I'm trying to just think of the silver lining where this time next year my boy should have straight feet - he will have feet that fit in a shoe, he will be able to walk and hopefully not trip up - the silver lining seems a long away away but I'm trying to hang onto it....

Pics of Dom's feet - Password: facebook


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Photo A Day Challenge

I'm doing a photo a day challenge again this year - It's taking my mind of things quite effectively at the moment...

Photo A Day Blog

Come over and have a look see at some of my work and feel free to follow and comment... I'm a bit shy at putting my own work out there per se and would love feedback so I know if it is any good or not - Harsh critic here on myself ROFL

Day of memories....

Today is a hard day for me.. I can't go into detail here but I just want to notarise it so I can look back and know I did remember - very painful but I know I will move on - but never forget.....

**Always in my heart**

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