Disaster!

well that was my birthday... totally 100% disaster!!!! anyways, it's ended with an almost divorce and now counseling oh and to top it off a Dr visit with depression - but because I'm not suicidal I can go back this week sometime to determine if I need help (got to love the bedside manner there grrr)

Anyhoos - this is probably a jumbled mess so just going to leave it here... I wanted to simply note that my birthday was a disaster so in years I can look back and roll my eyes and nod my head and simply agree - not one to look back on fondly.....

This time of Year...

I know it's the run up to Christmas, but just right now it's the last thing on my mind... Tomorrow is my birthday and as per usual the "big low" has started...

Not sure why but my birthday is always a let down - I've felt like this for years and years... I think it's because it's at this time of year that it's often overlooked and missed - or that special thing I've yearned for has not been forthcoming (usually forgotten or left for Christmas etc etc...) I've become accustomed to it but none the less it still hurts and I have a long learned pattern of not expecting much and to protect myself with a blanket of miserable...

So forgive me for feeling low.. but it's just this time of year.....