Open Letter aimed mostly for the facebook group members of Katami Photography
It has been brought to my attention that someone has been going behind my back and emailing friends and clients on here about my portfolio shoots. I know who this person is, but will not be outing anyone here - this is not the place, just be aware I know who you are and what you have been doing and saying!
I come here to clear the muddied waters this person has been stirring up as I have had several concerned contacts about this situation.
I want to initially deal with some of this gossip I've been hearing....
Firstly - I have NOT been on facebook. I've not been anywhere near the facebook website or applications. I have approved a few groups and play some games on my iphone that link up to facebook, wether they put comments on facebook etc I've no idea... I've turned off all facebook notifications and do not receive anything other than what friends send me directly. Facebook is not a place I feel I need to be near at the moment as I work through things happening in my life at the moment.
Secondly - I've not been ignoring people etc at all. Everyone here has access to my personal email address, the Katami Photography website which has email and contact forms on it, and my personal mobile number is also listed on this page (and has voicemail attached if I don't get to the phone!) To say that I am ignoring people or difficult to contact is ludicrus!!! There have been periods where I've had no access to email, but there has always been my phone....
Thirdly - If I had any idea we would be moving interstate I would not have made steps to start up a business for myself! We had 3.5 weeks notice of moving. We had to pack up our lives and 4 children to make this move and if anyone else has had to do the same you'd understand the mammoth effort with this - let alone moving to a place where we knew no one!!! Photo's were processed prior to us moving, yet no one made any steps to come and collect photo's. Instead it seemed that I was meant to be running around you whilst trying to pack and move...
Fourthly - I have NOT commenced any business in Mount Gambier. I've too much at the moment with settling my family and dealing with my life to start a business here - in fact I've not even done any photo shoots of my own children!!!
Ok gossip that I've heard of has been dealt with.. time to get down to some home truths, this isn't going to be pretty but please bear with me....
No one knows what has been happening in my life. No one - Not one of you!!! I don't even share everything with my family, let alone like to spread my private life around the web, but it seems that unless you know what has been happening you wont let me try to get on my feet - so here you'll all have it...
Moving interstate with a family of 4 with 3.5 weeks notice is no easy feat in itself. On top of this we had only temporary accommodation when we moved here and had to find a house in a town we didn't know. Oh we used the 3 week run up to try and do as much research as possible but it's not the same as trying to find an unknown street in an area you're not familiar with in vehicles that weren't ours and with 4 upset kids in the back seats. Lump on top of this that we have one child who has aspergers syndrome (autism) another one on the spectrum and all 4 of these children have also left all their friends and family behind and we have no house to call our own... not a pretty picture at all.
Oh and then to make things even more super for us we had issue after issue after issue with the removalist company! the week before we actually left I was stressed to the hilt due to the hassels with removalists and them changing dates and conditions of moving!
Just remember too that we only moved 9 weeks ago... Of these 9 weeks 4 we were in temporary accommodation, we had no house at this stage. Whilst in temporary accommodation we had only what was in our suitcases as everything else was in storage waiting for us to find a house and move in. We had no reliable internet either - it was intermittent at best if it did work!
During these 4 weeks in temporary accommodation we found out that the baby I was pregnant with had died. No one knew we were pregnant. We have had previous losses so we've learnt not to tell anyone before a certain time. This time however we had been told all was ok, we were almost over the danger period. To see your baby move and wriggle around one day and then the next be told it is dead is heartbreaking and hard to deal with. Then to be told as we're in a different state that things were different I'd have to keep carrying him/her until my body started to miscarry (up to 8 weeks) was even more shocking!! Oh I could have surgery, but in a state where we knew no one and Nathan had to work that wasn't an option... We had to wait for things to happen naturally. So I do hope that you will all excuse me for mourning the loss of a child. This is one reason I can't bear to be on facebook at the moment sue to a lot of people we know just having babies or being pregnant... it's not easy to be me at the moment!!!
Yes we finally found a house. We moved in. We've been in this house for 5 weeks. we've had 5 weeks to try and settle our aspie children and regular children into a new house with a new school. Now anyone who has anything to do with aspie's knows they don't deal with change very well at all... We're still hitting our heads against this problem over and over again. I spend most of my day working with the kids to get things sorted, settled and refereed!!! 5 weeks might sound like a long time to be settled and try to get unpacked but the reality is that it's not that long in reality. Considering that these kids have been uprooted from their home, their school their family, their friends and everything familiar to them.. 5 weeks doesn't even scratch the surface!!! Please allow us time to get them and us settled is all I've ever, EVER asked!!!!!
Now to getting disks organised and posted out... That's another thing in itself. I don;t like to think about things coming down to money-but let's face it, that's why you all wanted photo's for free right - so you didn't have to part with money!!! You may think that one disk isn't much... well considering there was more than one that needed burning and posting it all adds up!!! Our 'fantastic' removalists packed all our boxes marked with "shed" We still have not located my original spindle of DVDR's to burn photo's onto. We've had to go purchase another spindle of disks, burning is nothing, everything's ready to go ;) But then there's packaging and posting! Not that much when doing one, but multiplied it'll add up to over $100!!! And that's all to come out of my pocket. A pocket that is a little threadbare due to the actions of a so called 'friend' making false allegations to centrelink and having all my family payments canceled/suspended, not sure of the term - I just deal with the crap and fill out all the forms etc that are required. Yeps - this is a VERY personal matter as to why I've not been in the situation to post out disk's to date and just another reason why to try and keep my life as private as possible - I bet you're glad someone stirred this pot so you know the ins and outs of my life hey!
Anyways Nathan gets paid monthly now we're over here in SA. If you sit down and work that out, he's been working here for 9 weeks - oh that's only 2 pay days since we've been interstate!!! Of those 2 paydays we've needed to purcahse all our childrens new school uniforms, all moving essentials, all food for our cupboards (quarantine issues) change license and registration details, replace all aerosols and gas cylinders that can't be transported by removalists - oh the list goes on and on... We've not been able to do everything yet that is on the list that needs to be done, but we'll get there... But doing this on only 2 pay days has rendered us financially stricken - so much so that the last week when my parents were here they were helping support us on their invalid pension!! I don't want charity etc or comments regarding this, we will get on our feet and we will do so soon - but don't just assume that all because your life hasn't changed ours is the same - our situation is unique... a little courtesy and less witch hunting would be appreciated!!!
And there's still more!!! Yes more... I ended up miscarrying our baby when he/she should have been 14 weeks in gestation. We had to mourn the death of our baby twice because of this. I've also spent time in hospital due to having a severe allergic reaction to a common over the counted medical treatment. All this in a short 9 weeks!!! I think fair's fair... Time to look outside of yourself and realise that you aren't always the highest priority in life!!! It's not been the best of starts to our life in Mount Gambier, but believe it or not it's all for the best, I can see positives in this move already!! It's not all negative!!
So I guess the moral of this is, not everything you see on the surface really is still water. I didn't make my life public because to be completely honest it is none of your business!!! I've sent this and made this an open letter to combat the negativity some nasty people have started to try and generate behind the scenes. This is my life. This is what I live and work with. This is the reason that posting disks of FREE photo's out has been impossible to date or not the highest of priorities for me.
There are other little things that have come up on the radar that is my life over the last few weeks but they also involve another person who likes to keep her life very private so I wont air that here, but be aware that one thing on top of another on top of another with added stress that was not asked for from external sources do take their toll!!!
With my parents over here this last week I have been able to get some disks over to Devonport with them. They have taken around 7 disks with them to be handed to fellow mutual friends for passing on to you all. And to the person who has started sending these emails and messages behind the scenes, I know you have been causing trouble and trying to start a witch hunt, but despite this I'm still a decent enough person to send on your disks... I just wish you had been a decent enough person to give me some common courtesy and not be the schoolyard gossip!!!
Finally, PLEASE allow me time to mourn the death of our baby, allow me time to settle our children, allow me time to get our finances ordered so I can pay to have your disks posted safely, give me the courtesy of contacting me and not bitching behind my back and allow me the dignity to have privacy in my life!!!!
To my friends who have and always will be by my side. I'm doing ok. Thankyou for everything xxxx
It has been brought to my attention that someone has been going behind my back and emailing friends and clients on here about my portfolio shoots. I know who this person is, but will not be outing anyone here - this is not the place, just be aware I know who you are and what you have been doing and saying!
I come here to clear the muddied waters this person has been stirring up as I have had several concerned contacts about this situation.
I want to initially deal with some of this gossip I've been hearing....
Firstly - I have NOT been on facebook. I've not been anywhere near the facebook website or applications. I have approved a few groups and play some games on my iphone that link up to facebook, wether they put comments on facebook etc I've no idea... I've turned off all facebook notifications and do not receive anything other than what friends send me directly. Facebook is not a place I feel I need to be near at the moment as I work through things happening in my life at the moment.
Secondly - I've not been ignoring people etc at all. Everyone here has access to my personal email address, the Katami Photography website which has email and contact forms on it, and my personal mobile number is also listed on this page (and has voicemail attached if I don't get to the phone!) To say that I am ignoring people or difficult to contact is ludicrus!!! There have been periods where I've had no access to email, but there has always been my phone....
Thirdly - If I had any idea we would be moving interstate I would not have made steps to start up a business for myself! We had 3.5 weeks notice of moving. We had to pack up our lives and 4 children to make this move and if anyone else has had to do the same you'd understand the mammoth effort with this - let alone moving to a place where we knew no one!!! Photo's were processed prior to us moving, yet no one made any steps to come and collect photo's. Instead it seemed that I was meant to be running around you whilst trying to pack and move...
Fourthly - I have NOT commenced any business in Mount Gambier. I've too much at the moment with settling my family and dealing with my life to start a business here - in fact I've not even done any photo shoots of my own children!!!
Ok gossip that I've heard of has been dealt with.. time to get down to some home truths, this isn't going to be pretty but please bear with me....
No one knows what has been happening in my life. No one - Not one of you!!! I don't even share everything with my family, let alone like to spread my private life around the web, but it seems that unless you know what has been happening you wont let me try to get on my feet - so here you'll all have it...
Moving interstate with a family of 4 with 3.5 weeks notice is no easy feat in itself. On top of this we had only temporary accommodation when we moved here and had to find a house in a town we didn't know. Oh we used the 3 week run up to try and do as much research as possible but it's not the same as trying to find an unknown street in an area you're not familiar with in vehicles that weren't ours and with 4 upset kids in the back seats. Lump on top of this that we have one child who has aspergers syndrome (autism) another one on the spectrum and all 4 of these children have also left all their friends and family behind and we have no house to call our own... not a pretty picture at all.
Oh and then to make things even more super for us we had issue after issue after issue with the removalist company! the week before we actually left I was stressed to the hilt due to the hassels with removalists and them changing dates and conditions of moving!
Just remember too that we only moved 9 weeks ago... Of these 9 weeks 4 we were in temporary accommodation, we had no house at this stage. Whilst in temporary accommodation we had only what was in our suitcases as everything else was in storage waiting for us to find a house and move in. We had no reliable internet either - it was intermittent at best if it did work!
During these 4 weeks in temporary accommodation we found out that the baby I was pregnant with had died. No one knew we were pregnant. We have had previous losses so we've learnt not to tell anyone before a certain time. This time however we had been told all was ok, we were almost over the danger period. To see your baby move and wriggle around one day and then the next be told it is dead is heartbreaking and hard to deal with. Then to be told as we're in a different state that things were different I'd have to keep carrying him/her until my body started to miscarry (up to 8 weeks) was even more shocking!! Oh I could have surgery, but in a state where we knew no one and Nathan had to work that wasn't an option... We had to wait for things to happen naturally. So I do hope that you will all excuse me for mourning the loss of a child. This is one reason I can't bear to be on facebook at the moment sue to a lot of people we know just having babies or being pregnant... it's not easy to be me at the moment!!!
Yes we finally found a house. We moved in. We've been in this house for 5 weeks. we've had 5 weeks to try and settle our aspie children and regular children into a new house with a new school. Now anyone who has anything to do with aspie's knows they don't deal with change very well at all... We're still hitting our heads against this problem over and over again. I spend most of my day working with the kids to get things sorted, settled and refereed!!! 5 weeks might sound like a long time to be settled and try to get unpacked but the reality is that it's not that long in reality. Considering that these kids have been uprooted from their home, their school their family, their friends and everything familiar to them.. 5 weeks doesn't even scratch the surface!!! Please allow us time to get them and us settled is all I've ever, EVER asked!!!!!
Now to getting disks organised and posted out... That's another thing in itself. I don;t like to think about things coming down to money-but let's face it, that's why you all wanted photo's for free right - so you didn't have to part with money!!! You may think that one disk isn't much... well considering there was more than one that needed burning and posting it all adds up!!! Our 'fantastic' removalists packed all our boxes marked with "shed" We still have not located my original spindle of DVDR's to burn photo's onto. We've had to go purchase another spindle of disks, burning is nothing, everything's ready to go ;) But then there's packaging and posting! Not that much when doing one, but multiplied it'll add up to over $100!!! And that's all to come out of my pocket. A pocket that is a little threadbare due to the actions of a so called 'friend' making false allegations to centrelink and having all my family payments canceled/suspended, not sure of the term - I just deal with the crap and fill out all the forms etc that are required. Yeps - this is a VERY personal matter as to why I've not been in the situation to post out disk's to date and just another reason why to try and keep my life as private as possible - I bet you're glad someone stirred this pot so you know the ins and outs of my life hey!
Anyways Nathan gets paid monthly now we're over here in SA. If you sit down and work that out, he's been working here for 9 weeks - oh that's only 2 pay days since we've been interstate!!! Of those 2 paydays we've needed to purcahse all our childrens new school uniforms, all moving essentials, all food for our cupboards (quarantine issues) change license and registration details, replace all aerosols and gas cylinders that can't be transported by removalists - oh the list goes on and on... We've not been able to do everything yet that is on the list that needs to be done, but we'll get there... But doing this on only 2 pay days has rendered us financially stricken - so much so that the last week when my parents were here they were helping support us on their invalid pension!! I don't want charity etc or comments regarding this, we will get on our feet and we will do so soon - but don't just assume that all because your life hasn't changed ours is the same - our situation is unique... a little courtesy and less witch hunting would be appreciated!!!
And there's still more!!! Yes more... I ended up miscarrying our baby when he/she should have been 14 weeks in gestation. We had to mourn the death of our baby twice because of this. I've also spent time in hospital due to having a severe allergic reaction to a common over the counted medical treatment. All this in a short 9 weeks!!! I think fair's fair... Time to look outside of yourself and realise that you aren't always the highest priority in life!!! It's not been the best of starts to our life in Mount Gambier, but believe it or not it's all for the best, I can see positives in this move already!! It's not all negative!!
So I guess the moral of this is, not everything you see on the surface really is still water. I didn't make my life public because to be completely honest it is none of your business!!! I've sent this and made this an open letter to combat the negativity some nasty people have started to try and generate behind the scenes. This is my life. This is what I live and work with. This is the reason that posting disks of FREE photo's out has been impossible to date or not the highest of priorities for me.
There are other little things that have come up on the radar that is my life over the last few weeks but they also involve another person who likes to keep her life very private so I wont air that here, but be aware that one thing on top of another on top of another with added stress that was not asked for from external sources do take their toll!!!
With my parents over here this last week I have been able to get some disks over to Devonport with them. They have taken around 7 disks with them to be handed to fellow mutual friends for passing on to you all. And to the person who has started sending these emails and messages behind the scenes, I know you have been causing trouble and trying to start a witch hunt, but despite this I'm still a decent enough person to send on your disks... I just wish you had been a decent enough person to give me some common courtesy and not be the schoolyard gossip!!!
Finally, PLEASE allow me time to mourn the death of our baby, allow me time to settle our children, allow me time to get our finances ordered so I can pay to have your disks posted safely, give me the courtesy of contacting me and not bitching behind my back and allow me the dignity to have privacy in my life!!!!
To my friends who have and always will be by my side. I'm doing ok. Thankyou for everything xxxx
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7 comments:
Oh hun, i have been following your blog now for a little while and just could not go by today with out leaving a note. A big hug to you and to your precious family. I hope that you are all starting to settle in to a strange environment after much heartache in the last few weeks/months. It might not mean much, but please know that I am thinking of you and sending you some positive vibes for a smoother sailing xx
Oh Treens, i am so sorry you have had to reveal all this personal stuff, but it definately does give an insite to just how bad the last few weeks and months have been for you! If you need anything at all, you always know where we are!! :) (((Hugs))) to you sweet lady!! :)
I'm trying to think of something to say, but everything seems inadequate. Please know I am thinking of you and sending cyber-hugs. I can not believe you had such horrid people in your life in Tassie. Thank God you moved - life can only get better now. xxxx
Hugs Treens. Life hasn't been easy for you and your family lately and to have inconsiderate people assuming things and talking behind your back is just wrong! My prayers and thoughts are with you. You should have to explain yourself to others! Things will get better for you, i know they will!
You are one brave woman!
Leave the toxic "friends" behind and make some new ones in our fabulous town! We need to meet...have some coffee and cake and get to know each other.
Sending you cyber hugs!
KG
Hmm brave is not a word I'd use to describe me LOL Nuts - certainly hahaha.
Thanks everyone for your kind words... It's not been easy for us, but it's true that we KNOW this has been the right decision to move, and everything else will work itself out in time....
I still feel awkward that my personal life is on display now, but it was the only way I could try to show these people that sometimes life isn't all about them - I try to so things for everyone, but every now and then I need time to myself for this kind of thing - I've never been called selfish before, but if I have to be called selfish I'll take it - but they also have to realise I have a reason to be so....
Oh Katrina :( . I'm so sorry about your loss and the other schoolyard gossip issues you have had to deal with in the last couple of months. I hope that the Aspie's are dealing with the changes a little better now (boy do I know what you mean!) and that the witches fall off their broomsticks and afford you some peace and privacy. xo
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