Bah! That time of year...

bugs, germs and bacteria... all communicable and deciding to go through our kids one . at . a . time!!!

I've all but lost track on how long it has been since Aerynn became ill.  She still hasn't recovered, nor have we had a decent quarantine period to allow her back out in the public.  We were back at the GP last Friday with a middle ear infection in both ears.  2 days on antibiotics and all the hard work we have done to get her skin clear and as sore free as possible has already been undone.  Her gut appears to have been stripped and food is going straight through her again, she has developed blisters on her skin which are having the tops burned off and bleeding no matter how quickly we change her nappies.  I'm feeling jaded but have to keep pushing through... 

She has at least 2 weeks on the antibitotics in total and then we will start trying to build her up and starting the 2 weeks quarantine again.  At this stage her birthday party we are trying to plan is still another month away :/  It's so frustrating to see time race by while she tries to beat these bugs..  But at the same time the bugs aren't anything that any other child really struggles too much with.  I feel like a big phoney complaining that she has a minor cold or an ear infection, but at the same time her symptoms and recovery time are blown out of proportion compared to a regular child...  Such a hard place to be in. 

I also have had the other children coming down with their "regular" bugs that are communicated child to child at school.  Toby is cutting his bottom two teeth and clingy as a result, Dommy is currently sleeping on the couch with temps in the high 39*-40*C and completely miserable, Kahli had last friday off school with a gastro complaint, William has the same one today...  Just waiting now for Aleks to come down with something so they all can cross this week of hell off my list LOL

So if I'm quiet again it's not because we've dropped off the face of the planet, we're just busy busy nursing out children through the next few weeks of icky germs and bug infestations...

Birthdays and Tantrums

Our beautiful Miss Aerynn has turned 2 years old.  She is such a complete delight, if not a challenge.  As if on cue the "terrible twos" have arrived. We now have an extremely independent little miss who will talk the leg off a chair and I swear pick up and throw it at you if you don't agree or do her bidding when she demands it ;)

Aerynn's life so far has been a huge challenge.  We have spent most of it working through her health issues and sadly we are no closer to answers despite numerous specialist teams, hospital admissions and doctor visits, but we will never give up.  Our little one is "little" in all terms of the word.  We have been advised she most certainly is a person of short stature and she will continue to grow at her own pace.  Maintaining her quality of life and ensuring she is as reaction and health issue free is our main priority now as we look to giving her the best future possible :) 

Here's for a long and healthy future ahead.  Minimal issues and one beautiful little girl continuing to sparkle and shine in her own way

A new week, a new list...

I'm a list maker.  Always have been and always will.  It doesn't mean I cross everything off my lists but without a list I kinda lose my train of thought rather easily... You could call it being very learned in the art of procrastination ;)

So a new week has begun and it's time to start a new list on what is happening... 

Week Beginning August 5, 2013

Monday: 

• Cleaning
• Washing
• Baking school recesses that I missed on the weekend
• Preserving aging fruit and veg (jams, sauces and/or dehydrating) 
• Menu planning
• Wash Aerynn's Nappies

Tuesday: 

• Dommy at school
• Toby's 4 month check at the Dr
• Final shopping before Aerynns birthday
• Kids Hockey and Netball Training
• Wash Toby's Nappies

Wednesday: 

• Dommy's half day at school
• Baking cake for Aerynns birthday dinner
• Final sewing of Aerynns birthday present (nappy bag for her doll and some bed blankets and nappies for her doll) 
• Wrapping birthday presents
• Clean out fridge ready for weekly shop
• Kahli - Scouts
• Wash Aerynn's Nappies 

Thursday: 

• AERYNN's SECOND BIRTHDAY!!!! 
• Dommy full day at school
• Weekly shop
• Wash Toby's Nappies 

Friday: 

• Market Preparation
• Wash Aerynn's Nappies 

Saturday: 

• Kids sports + Aerynn's Calisthenics (although not attending due to being unwell/quarantine still)
• Outdoor clean-up (weather permitting)
• Veggie Garden preparation for Spring :) 
• Strip beds and washing
• Picking up new sewing desk in town
• Possibly getting to the local market and there's a church with an annual fair on in town
• Wash Toby's Nappies 

Sunday: 

• BAKE DAY!!!  
• Wash Aerynn's Nappies 

In and around everything I have market preparation, trying to get as much of Aerynn's afghan for her birthday completed (no way it will be done by her birthday unfortunately) nursing Aerynn through still being unwell and of course daily grind stuff like general cleaning, meal preparation and kids routines to work around.  And no doubt I've missed or forgotten something altogether and will be in a mad panic - am thinking there was something else on Thursday that needed doing :/

 

Right now I have a clingy almost 2 year old hanging off my right arm and a 4.5 year old complaining I brought him the wrong rice cakes :/ Guess I'd better start hitting these lists and work on getting things crossed off ;)

Daily Drudge

Oh the joys of running a household.  But I do have to admit it has become a little easier since we bit the bullet and purchased a thermomix - Bernie has pride of place in the kitchen and has been made earn his keep every day since he came through the doors 2.5 weeks ago ;) 

With Aerynn so sick these last 3 weeks I've not menu planned or done a decent grocery shop so we've been relying on Bernie getting us out of a hole and using what we have in the house to get through - and he has done magnificently! But I do need to get organised now...  so menu planing Monday will be coming back.  I shop on Thursdays, but menu plan on Monday so I can get organised and know ahead of time what I'm doing in case a chance to get into town earlier in the week presents itself and I can kill two birds with the same stone and reduce trips into the Mt.

Menu Plan Aug 2 - Aug 7

Fri: Stuffed chicken fillets with garlic sauce and steamed veg

Sat: Soup (from freezer supplies) Fresh bread rolls

Sun: Roast Pork with fresh veg and apple sauce

Mon: Quiche and steamed veg

Tues: Lamb Sausages with potato bake

Wed: Meatloaf and steamed veg + mashed potato

So plan done, recipes sourced and shopping list written up :)

Back to the daily drudge now, Toby is waking and wanting a feed, Aerynn has just jumped out of a bath and needs drying and dressing and Dommy as per usual is running around naked.  Kahli and William will be walking through the door any minute from school and Nathan is in town waiting for Aleks to finish school and then they'll toddle off and do the shopping I just texted through to Nathan... Hopefully the well oiled ship is running smoothly tonight so there are no hiccups with my plans ;)

Breathing Life Back Into The Beast

I've been so slack with blogging and recording the mundane that is our lives this past year and a bit  I know we've been super busy but I also know that in a few years time I wont have a record of these times and that saddens me.  Only as I've been looking back over the past 10 years that I have been blogging and realising I've captured so much that I'd forgotten.  I don't want our lives to dissolve into nothingness should anything happen to us.  I want my children to have something to look back on and be able to see that life was good, we may appear to be dysfunctional and nuts but we are happy and have achieved so much in life.  So, here I am..  going to revive this old blog and start documenting the challenges, happy time and difficult times (although hopefully not many of the latter)

So, a quick re-introduction and where we are today...

I'm going to be rude and start with me, Katrina.  Mum to 6 beautiful kidlets who's main objective is to send me grey (honestly I swear!!!)  I'm currently on maternity leave from my one day (hopefully) super busy photography business (yeah, yeah, a gal can dream) Katami Photography.  Hubby is Nathan.  He's going greyer much faster than me (so happy I have something to tease him about hehehe) We're both Tassie born and raised and trying to find our feet whilst raising our family now in regional South Australia.  We moved over here 3 years ago when huby was offered a management trainee-ship position with his current employer.  It's been a tough time, lots of growing pains but I think we're much stronger for the move and despite the negatives it has been a positive move for us :)

and our kidlets...

Aleksandir.  Aleks is our 15 year old going on 42 ;)  He's a wise old man at times in a teenage body.  Loves mathematics, computers and if anyone plays World of Warcraft he's looking for new members for his horde guild. I believe he is currently playing on Saurfang - may be rather wrong there though, Hubby and I play on Saurfang so may be getting beyond ourselves to think it's cool for teens to play on the same realm as their old decrepit parents :P

Kahli is our big princess (oh she will hate me for that bwahahahaha) she is 13 going on 24... seriously!  Teenage girls - something I wasn't really prepared for and probably the main reason for the grey hair I am trying hard to ignore sprouting on a daily basis :/  Kahli has just joined Scouts and is fresh back from her first campout.  She is loving high school and especially the opportunity to express herself in creative writing.  She certainly likes to keep us on our toes but despite the challenges she likes to throw our way we do love her (she'll hate me saying that too!!) and are waiting for the day the firestorm settles into a toasty welcoming fire :)

William is now 12 years old... my how time flies!!!  Our Mr Popularity is loving sports at the moment.  When he's not kicking a footy around or riding his bike up to the swamp looking for the elusive yabbies he is laying on his bed playing minecraft on his iPod.  Wil is cheeky and mischevious and I think will be our little rebel...  I might be wrong, but the potential is there... 

Domenik, our little man about the house is about to celebrate turning 5 in a couple of months time!!  I remember him being so tiny and charming getting his casts put on his legs for correction of his metatarsus adductus!  Dommy certainly is a little character.  He only has one volume (LOUD) and once speed (SUPER FAST - his term)  Dommy is in his last term of kindy and will be starting reception (SA equivalent of prep) at the beginning of next term!  Oh my - our little school boy!!!  Dommy's favourite thing at the moment (other than toast with butter & jam oh, and icecream) is minecraft as well...  Since he is sharing a room with William I blame William for that LOL  He apparently can hold his own with the big boys building maps apparently - I've been advised that's a very prestigious thing...  I'm so out of touch with modern games lol

Our littlest Princess Aerynn is only a week away from turning 2 years old!  And boy have those two years been a journey!  Aerynn is still very tiny for her age and we have been told she most certainly will be a Little Person, but not to expect a confirmed diagnosis of what form of dwarfism she may have.  I've been trying to keep up with documenting Aerynns journey on her blog HERE.  She is a real little delight to have around.  Full of hugs, kisses and conversation - yup, both our girls are chatter boxes!  Aerynn is currently recovering from a viral illness which has left her extremely flat, so I'm trying to update blogs and the likes around her needs at the moment.  Having a dodgy immune system meant that she had 2 weeks with really high temps and listlessness from a bug most people would shake off in a few days.  She's still up and down but we can see big improvements over the past few days :) 

And last but certainly not least...

Our little Toby is now 18 weeks old.  He's no longer a little newborn and is already on the move!!  Rolling and doing butt scoots in 360*s all over the living room floor.  He's a little smoocher, always has something to say and has the most divine molten chocolate brown eyes you can just drown in - or that could just be me and the hormones taking over ;) Other than some reflux and a bad upper lip tie Toby is perfect - I'm not biased at all :P  much hehehe

So that is our skin family quick update.  We also have a feathered, furred and haired family.  Feathered are our chickens, furred are our two cats (Portia and Kahli's cat Lacy) and for the moment we have mums 60th birthday present (a 9 months old ragdoll kitty) boarding with us, he's having a small holiday on his journey over to Tasmania.  "haired" is Williams rat Ozzy and we have 2 cows (Scotch and Rump) on adjistment at a friends property - they're not so much pets though but food.  Yes, living in the country is the perfect oportunity to teach the children about the circle of life and where food comes from.  Speaking of which we have 2 wooly members too... 2 lambs (Blinky and Bill - thusly named by Dommy) that we are currently still bottle feeding.. they're rather spoiled and should already be weaned but I'm a sucker for them bleating for their bottles and need to develop a thicker skin...  **Sigh**  one day I'll get tough ;) 

So that's it for now.. a quick update...  I'm determined to get back on track with recording things here, building our lived in words and photographs so no matter how small we feel we are we will always have a place in this world and will never be forgotten - be that good or bad mwahahahhaa

Welcoming Tobias Oskar

I know this is very late.

Tobias Oskar Bricknell

Freebirthed at home March 25, 2013 at 1.51pm
weight: 3525g
length: 52cm
head circ: 48cm

We welcomed little Toby to our family just after lunchtime Monday March 25th.  He was another quick, uncomplicated home birth and has settled in beautifully :)

He is such a cutie!  He already had chocolate brown eyes at birth!! 

We've adjusted to being a family of 8 with relatively few hiccups and can't imagine life without any of our wonderful kidlets.

L-R: William, Aerynn, Aleksandir, Kahli and Domenik.  front: Toby
June 16, 2013

Quick 2012 Wrap Up...

And yep, it WILL be quick LOL  Apparently it's dinner time :/  Kids want feeding - funny that :P

Anyways I know this blog has been a wee bit neglected (ok a LOT!!) and I apologise.  Our life has been thrown upside down and turned inside out throughout the year that has been 2012..  So much has happened, and we've been through a lot, but we are happy to see the end of the year and be able to say "We Survived!!!!"

So in brief.....

Aerynn has been very ill :(  We still have no diagnosis despite 6 weeks as an inpatient in the Melb RCH and 2 other weeks running all over the lower SE of SA and western Vic for tests and the likes...  We are however slowly piecing together what may be happening.  The current suspects are not what we first thought.  We are actually looking at a form of dwarfism called Russel-Silver Syndrome along with suspected Paediatric Crohns Disease.  Neither we could have foreseen and all we can do is wait for the formal diagnosis and roll with the blows as they come.  I have been blogging about Aerynn's health and journey to diagnosis and beyone on a separate blog here:  Aerynns Journey

We moved to Victoria, into what was meant to be a cosy little cottage, only to discover it was far from that... imagine a neglected shack with no floors (well huge holes to through to the earth below that were covered with chipboard if we were lucky), no insulation, mouse and mosquito infested, constant earth faults with the electricity, plumbing that didn't work and the landlady from hell...  Far from cosy!!  We moved there on the understanding all work would be completed on it within 3 weeks of our move in date - pfft... nothing done other than receiving excuses and in the end abuse :/  We stuck it out there for the 6 months of our lease and then moved back to SA where we have a great home now in Nangwarry :)

The kidlets have become chicken breeders!!!  Yup, they breed a bantam breed of chicken called Pekin.  They are the most friendliest little birds out and they love their new hobby, and I have to admit the free-range eggs are a HUGE bonus ;)

Aleks has settled into highschool really well and is looking forward to studying more to do with computers and possibly looking into IT as a future career path.

Kahli has graduated primary school and will be starting year 8 high school at Penola next year :) 

William is still our prankster...  Nothing new there!  He'll be in year 6 next year and our oldest at primary school **gasp**  where does the time fly!!!

And Little Dommy has started school already!!!  He had 3/4 a term of kindy after we moved back to SA and has LOVED it!!  He really has thrived!!!  That said we will be getting him investigated for possible aspergers/autism spectrum disorder in the new year at the request of the kindy.  We suspected this may be the case, but having his quirks highlighted in a class of other students of the same age make it a widdle bit obvious ;)

And Aerynn is our little Aerynn...  She's still little (only just moving into size 00's at 17 months old) but hitting all her milestones right on track or even a little early with some of her fine motor skills!!  She's talking, babbling, running, jumping, climbing (oh my grey hair!!!) and well, just being a delightful little toddler :) 

What else... ummm  Nathan is still at kmart, still umpiring and driving us all insane :P  I'm allowed to say that cos I live with him bahahhahaa   

and me, well nothing much changes here... still working on building my photography business, trying to find time to craft when I can :)

I guess I should admit that along the way of working through the year we discovered that despite our best preventative measures our family will be expanding again by 2 little feet :/  Little Toby will be joining our family sometime late March.  We have no definite due date as we found out too late to be exact but it's a surprise that we were NOT expecting!!!  PS:  this is still not common knowledge, if you have mutual contacts (in particular certain family contacts - and you should know what I mean if you are aware of said contacts) we would appreciate this not be gossiped about...

So all in all 2012 has been a bit of a challenge, a lot of surprises and quite a bit of frustration.  We're hoping that 2013 will be a lot more settled and bring with it a few more smiles, answers and positivity :) 

Well, it was kinda short :P

11 months....

Happy 11th Monthaversary to our beautiful baby girl.  I am really struggling to comprehend in 4 short weeks you will be 1 year old!  You're our precious little poppet and have brought so much light into our lives and have rounded out our family perfectly.

We all love you our Little Aerynn

xxx

Short and Sweet...

Who said life was going to be smooth and simple?  I've not posted here much but that's likely to change as I start to possibly need to debrief over life a little.  The fact is our littlest princess has been formally diagnosed with FPIES and being investigated for Russell-Silver Syndrome (a form of dwarfism)  I have a seperate blog set up to record her journey, it was meant to be only about her FPIES journey, but in light of recent suspicions etc it is looking like it should be about her journey full stop!!! 

Anyways...  just touching base...  The other kidlets are doing well, growing like weeds and generally pretty good kids (can't complain too much LOL)  for now we're holding together...  The next couple of months during Aerynns investigations and diagnosis may be a little rocky, but it's better to know for certain than to continue to wonder.... 

 

The kidlets

July 4, 2012

Oh and a side note - the kidlets saw their first ever wild koala today!!!!  Koala's aren't wild in Tasmania so it was a HUGE buzz for us all!!!

A Long Time Between Drinks....

And I have thought frequently that I should update here, but time gets away from me.. or is that simply procrastination winning out over productivity???

Anyhoos, a lot has happened - the biggest thing is my baby girl is growing up!!! How and where the time has gone to I really don't know... she's 6 months old next week!! Our little Aerynn is now crawling - yes CRAWLING!!! She started commando crawling around a month ago and it has evolved into "leave me on the floor and Im'a gonna chase you" on hands and knees!!! She's also sitting unaided, cut her first tooth and saying "dadadadadadadadada" So much growth and progression in pretty much 2 weeks!!!

Miss Aerynn
5 months old

There are a few little concerns with our little miss... We still have a struggle with her weight. She's currently making her own growth chart line under the 3%ile mark on the WHO charts and we have monthly check ins to keep it under control. It also appears she has allergies :( We have had a reaction to chicken and I assume shellfish (she came up in a few welts while I was eating some prawns and scallops and holding her - had to be via touch) and I suspect egg due to a reaction after I had an egg sandwich. This is making me EXTREMELY nervous about starting her on solids next week - so nervous I've not even purchased any feeding implements or a high chair. The thought of giving her food is leaving me feeling cold, dead cold.. I don't want to give her any but I know she is ready and needs it soon... The thought we may have to go through something similar to what we had with Williams FPIES is terrifying :( I know I have to face it and will be looking at highchairs this week **eeeek** I can't delay it much longer so guessing biting the bullet and just doing it is what I have to do...

Aerynn and Poppy
"I Love you THIS much poppy!!!"
mum and dad came to visit for 10 days over the new year

As per usual, I've sat down to surf the net, catch up on blogging (hahaha) etc and I've been summoned to Aerynn's bedside.. mummy duties come first ;) I'll try to get back more frequently, especially now the older kidlets are back at school - which reminds me... Updated photos!!!! (I can do that while feeding at least ;) LOL

First Day at School 2012
"Hurry Up Mum!!!!"

The Proper First Day Back at School 2012
William - year 5 Compton
Kahli - year 7 Compton
Aleks - year 8 Mount High

Dommy "Riding those {Imaginary} Waves"
Playground at Port McDonnell
**This photo has been entered into the Harvey Norman
Photo comp for "best baby/child moment"**

6 Weeks...

It's been 6 weeks since our littelest princess came into the world :) And she's been a pure and utter delight each and every day of her short life so far :) She has wrapped everyone around her little finger and weaved a spell of blissful harmony over the household...

Aerynn
6 weeks old

So what should I do to help commemorate this special age where our little one moves on from being known as a newborn and becomes our very special infant?? Take photo's of course!!! Well the pics were taken approximately 12 hours before she technically 'turned' 6 weeks old, but close enough... she didn't change any in that time ;)

Safe in Daddy's Hands

She is still sooo perfectly tiny!! I have only just packed up her 00000 clothes and moved her exclusively into 0000 - even though most of them are still a little bit too big...

Don't Let Me Go Daddy

Birth ~ Weight: 2890g
~ Length: 48cm
~ Head Circ: 33.5cm


6 Weeks ~ Weight 3500g
~ Length: 51cm
~ Head Circ: ***

My (not so) Little Family :)

Aerynn is 5 weeks old tomorrow... Where has the time gone?!?!?! In that time she has wrapped everyone around her little fingers :) She is a real delight! We've had smiles already and she has the most amazing head control already!! She surpassed the 3kilo mark last week which was a great day as it also meant she had reached her birth weight again - there was a little concern about her being slow to gain, but hopefully that is behind us now. Then this week she came down with a good old dose of gastro :( We got through 3 days of upset tummy's and 2 days later here she is down with a cold :( It's been a tough week, but she's still smiling in-between temperature spikes and the tears, I think we have a little fighter on our hands here :)

Yesterday I FINALLY got myself organised and had a 10 minute window in which to snap some photo's of all the kids together! I keep kicking myself that we don't have any from when Aerynn was firstborn though :( I do have individual ones of the kids with her, but not a group photo. I also still have to get hand and foot prints. It's something I've meant to do with ALL 5 of ours children but still yet to get any!!! I know totally slack :( I WILL rectify that with Aerynn though... one of them will have some prints at least!!!

So for these photo's... They're not the sharpest in focus, Dommy needed bribing with a biscuit which he happily crumbed all over everyone LOL and Aleks was in a "funny" mood and kept pulling faces (so did William to a lesser extent Augh - boys!!!) but here they are, My Little Tassie Terrors + 1 South Australian Beauty <3 <3 <3

She's Here!!!

Yeah a long time between posts I know **blush** But we can now celebrate that our little baby girl is earthside!!!!

Aerynn Paige Nalani Bricknell was born on her due date at home, in water and with no complications at all. She is absolutely perfect in every way imaginable <3 yes we are totally besotted by our littlest princess :) As for stats, she was 48cm long and weighed in a HUGE (not) 2890g (6lb5oz) I've lots of photo's (that should come as no suprise!!!) but here's a few just to share...

12 hours old

14 hours old
with littlest big brother Domenik

13 Days Old
playing (un)dress-ups

13 days old

As soon as I can I will post up her birth story...

Back to Square 1, maybe 2....

I'm livid at the moment.. ABSOLUTELY LIVID!!!!

It may not be much to others but we have been working towards getting Dommy's Metatarsus Adductus and Clubbing of his feet corrected in a way that would avoid long term multiple surgeries and pain - and we were winning the battle! We got his feet to a situation where they were straight, they were no longer rigidly stuck in a deformed position and he was able to wear shoes designed for regular children...

Now, after being promised that there were physio's here in Mt Gambier who knew how to continue the treatment and continue to correct his feet we discover there is NONE!!! No one!!! The one who said she could and would was reading information off the internet before his appointments to see what she was meant to be doing!!! She admitted this to us, that she knew nothing of the Ponseti method of treatment for clubbing and Metatarsus adductus!!!

The curving of the feet show
Domeniks Mettartarsus Adductus, January 2010

"they" (being the physio and podiatry department of the local hospital) decided that he was beyond their training and that his feet were reverting to rigid and tightening into a boomerang shape again and he needed to be referred to the Royal Womens and Childrens Hospital in Adelaide... This decision was made almost 8 months ago!!!

His toes should NOT be pointing this way
while he is standing,

...also there is a 'roll' on his ankles
from the mild clubbing - this became more
obvious as he grew. January 13, 2010

We have been told several times that referrals had been sent. I have followed up myself with the hospital in Adelaide several times after being assured they were sent and they reported they have not received them. Now let me get this straight so you can get a sense of my frustration. Referrals have APPARENTLY been sent regarding this by the physio department - twice, the paediatrician - twice and the podiatrist - once... That makes (if they are telling me truth) 5 referrals that were sent regarding Domeniks feet to this hospital - so why are they not getting there??? Why have we not heard anything?!?!?!!

I found out why today....

THEY DIDN'T SEND THEM!!!!! Not just that, but apparently they CAN'T send a referral for him!!! It's taken all this time for them to bloody well work that all out (yeps, just a little bit mad and incredulous here at the mo) Apparently the only persons who can refer Domenik through is a GP via a special online form or an ortho surgeon!!!

I'm disgusted with their misrepresentation of the situation and hoping against hope that these further delays in getting treatment wont result in the multiple surgeries that we have been trying to avoid! It was bad enough to begin with that we were constantly told he would grow out of it... The relief we had when he was responding to the treatment when we were warned that he may not as he was an "older" starter to Ponseti... And now this...

Domenik hated his casts as he couldn't walk in them,
but he would always smile throughout his treatments...
January 21, 2010

The ability to walk, run and jump without pain or distress is something that we all take for granted... It is something I wanted my baby boy to experience and be able to take advantage of... Now I'm not so sure about it... I know for myself that my foot has never been the same after I broke it and it required surgery. It has numb spots and can tell me when the cold winters rains are on their way and to be frank at times it downright aches! Something it never did before it required surgery... I really don't want any of my kids to have to feel that pain and we were getting there with Domenik! We were actually able to start to believe that he wouldn;t require surgery!!! Now, well the podiatrist here has already said that he will be too old to go back into AFO's and boot and bar from scratch and that we're looking at multiple surgeries as he grows to loosen tendons to stop his feet from curling at the very least, as well as a lifetime of special footwear and orthotics... I know it's not the be all and end all, if this happens it happens we can't stop it and will have to comply as there are no other choices now...

We had many nights of broken sleep,
cramping and frustration with his
boots and bar, but they did their job!
February 17, 2010

It just breaks my heart that my boy may now be subject to these operations we'd been trying to avoid and succeeding at all because of the stupid physio department here at the local hospital and how they have mis-represented themselves to us... IF they were honest and told us from the outset they could not deal with this the Burnie hospital would have referred Domenik to the Royal Womens and Childrens... now they can't and we're over 12 months behind with his treatment...

This was his beautiful straight foot after
coming out of the 5th casting Feb 11, 2010
We moved to Mt Gambier 2 months later,
"they" stopped ALL his treatment within months
of moving here...

His feet had reverted back to their 'boomerang'
shape within 3 months of moving here :(

Now try and tell me that I shouldn't be upset for my little boy....

2011 - My Year...

This year was always intended to be a year of growth and finding myself, and in some weird way it really is turning out to be just that. We're halfway through the year (Already!?!?!) and I'm starting to see that the pains I've been going through are in their own ways 'growing pains'

I'm learning to stand on my own two feet more, and to hell with the consequences. By that I mean that I'm learning to be true to myself. Not to allow others to influence what I do, think and become. Too many times in the past 3 years I look back and realise that i was doing everything to please others and so little to enrich my own life and learning...

I'm learning to pick those who say that they are there for me no matter what, and those that really are. It's so easy for people to say that they support you and will be there for you, but when the pressure is on they crumble. Pressure meaning bad times, negative thoughts, not agreeing etc etc... Pressure doesn't have to mean full on red alarm bells, but even the simple act of not being available for someone else because I have had to priorotise my family instead.. that kind of thing. It's amazing for me to look back and see how when I was the 'yes' person I had people wanting me to do things etc for them, but the minute I had to step back and prioritise myself and my family they faded into the wind or found something about me they didn't like - They're loss ;)

Yes, I know these are HUGE lessons to learn. And as much as these lessons have brought me pain and meant that I've said goodbye to people who I thought were friends or at least good acquaintances, it means that I'm growing - and I guess out-growing these people who have different priorities and beliefs to me. Ultimately I don't care that they have different beliefs, priorities etc at all, we can all get along quite fine and I'm happy to work with that, but they obviously still need 'yes people' around them and I'm not willing to compromise myself like that anymore.. I think that means that I'm quite possibly starting to open my eyes to the world and in a sense grow up :) Finally hehehe

But even with all that learning, growing etc I know that there are still LOTS of things for me to learn and start to change in myself... One of these is being open and willing to accept help. I'm getting pretty good at standing on my own two feet (although I can get the wobbles from time to time) but I've never been good at accepting help... A little bit of that is to do with the fact I've been burnt so many times before by people who have meant to have been there for me meaning that I have lost the innocent ability to trust. I really really need to start working on that... I've always been the person that is there for others no matter what, It's time I started allowing others to be there for me.. of course it would help if I had others in my life who would want to be there LOL All in good time ;) Maybe before I find decent friends and start to build proper friendships where I wont get burnt I need to learn to be a friend to myself first... I've heard that many times before but never felt it applied to me... maybe it's time I stopped and MADE it apply to me for a change!!! Learning to be a friend to myself, trust what I am feeling and doing first, then branch that out to others around me...

I really do need to stop looking at the world as a place where I have to be doing something for other people, have to be there for them and start being there for me... I wonder if that is the biggest lesson I will have to learn this year.. if it is I hope it comes with lots of rewards, because to be quite honest I think it's about time these pains started reaping their benefits - there's only so much a gal can take

Got to Love "Options"

I'm going to say something here that not many people are brave enough to admit to... Something that I've been fighting for the last few days but I can't keep fighting it any more...

I'm Scared.

There, I'm scared - two words that have been bothering me the last few days in particular.

Why am I scared? Because I have doors closing behind me, options are removed and I feel I'm walking a very very lonely path as I see people scuttle to run away and watch what they percieve is a train wreck waiting to happen...

Well I can't allow a train wreck to happen at all. I have to make things work, and have no choice now but to trust myself and allow my body to do what it is made to do - that is bring my baby earthside safely.

It's not Aerynns birth that has be scared though - not at all! I've done it 4 times previously, drug free and reasonably intervention free (thinking Aleks being the one with most intervention due to inducing) Her birth doesn't phase me one bit... It's the "what if's"

The biggest "what is" is our transfer plan. The hospital will allow Aerynn to be born there, that's all ok... but I was told on Wednesday that once I am at the hospital for her birth that I will have no say in my treatment, options or what happens. I can refuse procedures all I want apparently but the Dr said shrugging that "you will have no say in it" It didn't really 'click' with what he was saying at the time... it only dawned on me yesterday...

Where is a persons rights in this kind of situation? I know logically that they can't lay a hand on me without permission, but I know they do and have done here and I'm terrorfied that if we do have to transfer for whatever reason that they will do this!!! I have nothing to back me up or support me in believing that they wont! I don't trust them, I can't trust them with that... The thought of a stranger touching me when I am most vulnerable is scaring me. The thought that I will have no voice, no say in what is happening makes me feel sick to my core...

So yes, I'm scared. On so many different levels... There is NO WAY that I could front up to this hospital and have my baby there, and the only other choice is a homebirth for which I have seen people run as fast away from me as they can as soon as it was something we were considering. I thought I had a great and strong network of friends and support, even though some lived interstate... But the minute I didn't agree with what they believed in they went running away... Great support network hey... Now it's just me, DH and a few others scattered around... I know my parents will be here late July to help out... But the fact that there seems to be no one that I can turn to IRL is hurting me at the moment... I guess I trusted too soon, too deep and too willingly again and am paying the price... I'm not afraid of a homebirth, it is right for us and this situation. It is natural, gentle and not full of voodoo as people seem to want to believe. It is not dangerous, it is the way babies have been brought into this world for generations upon generations before us... There is no way you would be reading this post if it wasn't for your ancestors being home birthed!!! I still struggle to believe that I've lost acquaintances (they weren't friends as I thought as a friend would support you no matter what) because of our choice to homebirth and do things out of the 'norm'. That people have no concept of what we have gone through to even get to this stage with Aerynnn or even our other children!!!

People take for granted that they have friends and family around that can do stuff for them on a daily basis, something as simple as to give them a break... I don't have that luxury, so if I happen to vent or whine too much online there's a reason for it - it's the only place where I can have any meaningful contact with other people... If you don't agree with what I have to do or things happening in my life, don't cut me off - I don't make decisions on the fly, if you stay around long enough you'd know that about me. I research and research and look for alternatives that suit our situation... it may not be what you would do but it is right for me and my family, please allow us that respect! For those who have already turned their backs on me, I guess that shows more about the person you are than anything about me... take off your shoes and try to walk a mile in mine, it's not as simple as you think!

Right now I think I need to try and digest what has happened this week a little more... I don't know where we will stand if we need to transfer Aerynns arrival... I really don't know... The interventions they are talking about can mean a lifetime of physical pain for me - something that isn't easy to consider, let alone the psychological scars that may be left as well... Just imagine how you would feel if you were told that you had no choice but to allow strangers to poke, stick touch you anywhere in your body - including those that have been previously abused... you imagining it is no where near what it would be like living it which is something I now have to consider....

the Good Life :)

Ahhh yeps, smell the fresh air, feel the chill in your fingers, feel the rain on your face, smell the cow dung over the fence.... Whaat?!?!!

Yeps, you heard me right, cow dung... Well over the fence at the kids school that is LOL The Upper Primary class have adopted 2 calves for 6 weeks while they do a "cows are careers" (or something similar to that!!!) course in their class. Aleks being School Captain has had a prominant role in caring for one of the calves (Crumble) and Kahli has had a turn with them as well :) Last weekend we had the pleasure of being the rostered Sunday Morning Feed family... So we rolled out of beds at 7am **yawn** and went off to the school to make sure the calves were being fed by their 8am **yawn, yawn** feedtime....

It was chilly, but the sun was out, there was no rain last weekend (but yesterday when Aleks and Nathan went out to do the evening feed there was - bahaha I got to stay home in front of the fire hehehhhee) and yes, there was a pong LOL Cows babies are like human babies and poop wherever and whenever the urge takes them... lovely ;)

Of course I couldn;t let a photo opportunity go to waste.. so I've documented the mornings feed so the kids can remember one day that they did feed calves, they have had a taste of the realities of living in the country ;)

Mixing the Artificial Feed

Filling the milk bottles - quite literally BTW ;) 2 litre ones each!!!

Ahhh feed time!!!!

Even William had a go!!!

Dom meet Brandy

Brandy "kiss" Dom hehehe
Dommy ran away saying "cows 'ick" after that...
we're not sure if it was meant to be 'lick' or really 'ick LOL

Even Nathan had a tough time evading Brandy's long and slobbery tongue!!!

Aerynn

Our Beautiful Baby Girl.....

Only 10 weeks left until she is due to be in our arms :)

There Comes a Time In Life...

Where you know that enough is enough. When no matter what you do you will never be what others want you to be and that you will never meet with their approval - and that time for me has been reached this last 24 hours.

I knew there was friction, I knew I wasn't liked, I knew that despite my best efforts that there was nothing I could do that would break the ice and allow any decent relationship between certain family members and myself. I know I've done nothing wrong, other than be myself, work hard at keeping my family together, safe and happy... I know that I've bent over backwards, ignored the snide comments, the rolling eyes the lies and twisted truths that were being spread around.... But the time has come where I can ignore all that no longer.

The time has come to start pruning our family tree for the health of our family... Our children do not need to be exposed to the diseased branches that want to do nothing other than cause us pain... pain that my children are now picking up on and it's not fair to them - they've done nothing to deserve this!

When one makes a light hearted joke about something that was said that is then twisted into lies and insults by those who live in their ivory towers it's time to call it a day and realise that if they wish to carry on like that they can, it's not for me to fight this battle any longer.... 14 years of fighting is enough, I should have come to this realisation earlier but for the sake of keeping communication open and in the hope that one day a relationship could be built I persisted - I guess my patience does have a limit after all!!!

So from here on in the branches are trimmed. There will always be avenue for regrowth if there is a level of maturity shown, but until then I guess we stand alone, tall and proud that we know we've done out utmost to make things work... sometimes you just need to get out the saw and weedkiller for the sake of general maintenance!!

You want to give me a label?? Then go ahead - make my day :)

Things are certainly starting to get serious here, I've been working on our budgets and semi-freaked when I realised Nathan gets 3 more paydays before Aerynns due and I have 7 now - eeeekkk!!! That makes the time between now and meeting our littlest girl seem sooooo small - it's racing up on us!!!! And to be honest the tingles of excitement have returned and I'm so looking forward to meeting our squirmy little kicker :)

I'm feeling very reassured now that I've had an opportunity to take with several like minded people about the prospects on how we will be welcoming Aerynn into our family and the situation with hospitals, interventions and transfers here in this part of the state. When you live in big cities or are familiar with a certain area's processes and protocols it would be so easy to sit back and feel confident that you know what to do and that your point of view is right; but we're not familiar with anything around here, it is all foreign to us and the more that we look into things the more alarmed we were becoming at the prospects put before us. Especially in light of the lack of interest in our past experiences etc... This is something that I've never come across before, and is extremely concerning to be treated like a number and brushed aside because you're not known by anyone.

But now, I've had a whole world of options open up to me and it's stirred previous memories and dreams that I had repressed because it wasn't possible in Tasmania. I've re-discovered what made me so passionate about having a family, getting back to the roots of everything that I am. I remembered where and why I became interested in alternatives to modern medicine and common social practices...

These are things that helped us get through difficult times when no one knew what they were dealing with when William was sick, they were avenues I had investigated when I was given the ultimatum at 17 years olf to get pregnant in 3 months or have a hysterectomy - they are things that gave me a reason to continue fighting, questioning etc etc... Things that apparently gave me a 'label' of not running with the social norms...

So what am I re-discovering? Mostly that I'm NOT alone. I'm not the only one who has come up against the obstacles we have been confronted with. I am discovering that there are people out there who are just as passionate about the same things that I am, the things that I was mocked for and made others consider me 'weird' back when I was a late teen... I never identified myself as a hippy etc, but to look into the evolution of medicine and how things were done before we had magical 'gods' in society called doctors is really amazing!

So why shouldn't we start to question things more? Why do we put blind faith in scientists and modern discoveries? How many times do we hear of product recalls, drugs that have been taken off the market all because things aren't what they were originally thought they were to be? Why is it just the 'done thing' that we follow all these new developments like sheep, partake in them blindly trusting that things will be ok because we were told they would be? Since when did it become the norm to let other people take responsibility of our lives? I mean, we put a drug into our body and we develop a nasty side effect in time, who should take responsibility? The person who manufactured the drug or the blind sheep who put it in their body blindly trusting the manufacturers recommendations?

And a lot of people now days are unknowingly returning to those older treatments and processes without realising what they are doing - think day-spas with their aromatherapy, mud, heat and water treatments, then there's those super expensive and exclusive retreats with massage, meditation, whole foods... And what about the wheat-grass drinks, detox, cleansing diets with all the extra natural elements being introduced?? I mean not even going that far, how about household products that are now incorporating natural cleansers, aroma's, natural colourings etc So many things are starting to turn their back on so called modern 'advancements' and returning to a place less chemical, more natural...

I guess this ramble that I'm typing as it comes into my head is simply asking when did we stop taking responsibility of our own decisions and blindly do what society or the people who society looks up to tell us to do? When does personal responsibility start??

I could be labeled weird, or alternative... people might shake their heads and wonder what I'm thinking; but at least I know that I am taking responsibility for my own path in life. It is there because it is my decision to go down that path, not because it is the done thing or it's what everyone else does. I'm doing and planning my future because I am confident that I have researched options, outcomes and can stand by my decision... how many others can honestly say that? If that makes me weird, alternative, hippy etc then so be it! I will proudly wear that label if you want to pin it on my chest - because for me that label translates that I've broken away from the flock, I'm no longer acting blindly like a sheep and that I've taken responsibility for myself and my path in life... I wonder how many out there can truly pin that label upon themselves???